A collection of funny fitness jokes

Jokes are an artistic language. They are taken from life, so they are easy to understand and can always make us laugh. They can add a different color to the ordinary days and relieve daily stress. Pressure, next is the "Funny Fitness Jokes" I carefully prepared for you, welcome to watch!

Funny Fitness Jokes (Popular)

1. My boyfriend and I went to the park to play, By the lake in the park, I saw a pair of mandarin ducks swimming in the water. I was very envious and couldn't help but fall in love with the scene. I grabbed my boyfriend's hand and said affectionately: "My dear, let us be like this pair of mandarin ducks in this life and swim in the ocean of love forever, okay?" After hearing this, my boyfriend He actually laughed out loud, and then said in a puzzled way: "How could a mandarin duck swim into the ocean? Unless it was hit with a stick!"

2. The teacher said, if you want to jump off the building Suicide, it's okay, take your time, try it from the first floor to every floor, make sure you don't want to die. . .

3. There was a constant quarrel across the door, and the woman suspected that the man was having an affair, which happened on and off all night! This morning, a shirtless, tattooed man came into the elevator and walked straight to the man, "Are you X? Don't fool around outside again. I'll kill you!" The man ran down from the elevator, and the strong man shouted, "Don't let me hear anything going on in your house again!" The elevator closed, and the strong man patted his chest and said to himself, "Oh my god, you scared me to death, son. If you don't do well in the exam this time, I'm really sorry for your dad. You have tattoos and gangsters are pretending!"

4. At noon, my Fujian tutor said in the laboratory that there is a guide to pornographic films. Everyone, take it. Go check it out. We excitedly took it and took a look: Anti-fraud guide...

5. My body is prone to sweating, even if the air conditioner in a large shopping mall is blowing, I went shopping with my girlfriend once, and happened to pass by a store selling If you look around at the jewelry counter, you may be sweating too much. The saleswoman considerately handed me a piece of tissue and said, "Sir, it's okay. We can still get a 50% discount on the marked price..."

6. The flies in Beijing are angry! I would like to ask: "Why can public toilets in Nanchang have three flies, but we in Beijing only have two?!" The flies in Nanchang glanced: "Who made your Beijing household registration so It’s expensive!”

7. In order to verify whether my dad really quit smoking as he said, I didn’t turn off the gas when I went out this morning?

8. The biggest difference between Eastern and Western cultures is that we Easterners never shout: Amitabha!

9. Just now, my sister came over to me while she was doing her homework and asked me what assault is. I replied, if you If you see a weird guy coming over to kiss your sister, then this is an invasion (my grandma is watching a TV show where this is being played). My dad heard this and came over and said, if a weird guy comes to kiss you, that’s an invasion. If a weird guy kisses your sister, that’s what you deserve!< /p>

10. The reason for the resignation of an employee in a certain company was that he had a bad stomach and could not digest the pie drawn by the boss.

Funny fitness jokes (classics)

1. Leader: Xiao Liu, you are still working overtime at 1 o’clock in the morning. Thank you for your hard work!! The answer: It’s not hard at all. Life is miserable? The students were watching the video played by the politics teacher with great interest. At this time, the head teacher came over to say two urgent things. Many students "coughed" unconsciously. Seeing the students' reluctant expressions, the head teacher said, "Everyone, it's commercial time. It will be more exciting after the commercial."

2. On the tip of the tongue The eight-episode documentary about the Periodic Table of Elements that we are planning to shoot: the first episode "Gifts from the Chemical Industry"; the second episode "The Story of Bleach and Melamine"; the third episode "Eating the Periodic Table of Elements"; the fourth episode "The Periodic Table of Elements"; The Secret of Gelatin"; Episode 5 "Purification and Refining of Gutter Oil"; Episode 6 "Non-Toxic Pesticides"; Episode 7 "I Have a Date with Cabbage"; Episode 8 "We Are Not Afraid Anymore"! (@ wake up the big crow)

3. After the doctor went on a date with the beautiful woman, he sent the beautiful woman home and passed by a flower shop. The beauty picked up a bouquet of red roses and asked the doctor with a charming face: "Does it look good?" The doctor answered honestly: "It looks good." The beauty asked again: "Does it really look good?" The doctor nodded affirmatively, but still did not take any action. The beauty finally couldn't help but remind him: "I think it's pretty good-looking too, and I like it very much." The doctor said very sincerely: "If you like it, just watch it for a while."

4. If you are not full, you can only One worry, when full, there are countless worries.

5. A flat chest will ruin three generations, and a thick waist will ruin a life. Having a big face is not a disease, having thick legs can kill you

6. There are still 100 days left, dear! There are still 100 days left. The pure freshman and elementary school girls are about to arrive! There are still 100 days left for sophomores. Seniors are about to have a discount sale, dear! There are only 100 days left, and junior seniors are going to buy one and get one free, dear! There are still 100 days and senior ladies are going to have it off the shelves~ dear~! Hold on~ Dear~

7. This copywriting is quite sophisticated. My name is Feng Shujuan. I married a woman who came to rich Africa and became a local chief two years ago. Unfortunately, last month He was killed because of a tribal rebellion. Now I am fighting for the inheritance with his ex-wife. I have to get pregnant quickly and pretend that the child is his flesh and blood in order to successfully obtain the inheritance. Now looking for a serious man. I will give you 1 million for detailed discussions after meeting, and another 4 million after giving birth to the child.

8. I can’t quarrel with my wife, so after every quarrel, I will secretly increase my wife’s electronic scale by 1 kilogram!

9. Because of words, I will not be easy Because the vocabulary is basically not growing, and you can forget it all after drinking two bottles of beer; because the words are always forgotten after memorizing them, I once suspected that what I have in my mind is soy milk; because Words, in that place, even if you memorize them crazily and crazy, you will still forget them after memorizing them.

10. The most dazzling black-faced master of Bao Zhengfeng is my love, and the mighty Dynasty Mahan stands in two rows. What kind of Weibo is the funniest, and what kind of being shot is the most helpless. I am the most beautiful boy in the Song Dynasty, with stunning appearance since I was a child. Singing the most dazzling Bao Zhengfeng leisurely, I never understand how handsome he is during the day. You are the most beautiful boy in my heart, and there is always a blue sky in the world. Singing the most dazzling Bao Zhengfeng, the bright moon shines in your arms every year

Funny fitness jokes (selected articles)

1. I decided to tidy up the house. Take out various rags and brooms to start cleaning. Suddenly I remembered what the Sixth Patriarch Huineng said, "There is nothing in the beginning, so where is the dust?" So I took a shower and went to bed.

2. Taking the bus, the bus driver suddenly stopped, threw the person in the bus and ran into the convenience store alone. Everyone waited for a long time and was very puzzled. Then he bought a bottle of Coke and ran back. After a few stops, he stopped the car and ran away again. The passengers in the car were even more speechless. As a result, the driver came back with a can, which turned out to be "another bottle". . .

3

4. "Mr. Gongsun, come and take a look. I have photographed the annular solar eclipse. It's so clear." "Ah! It's really clear! It looks like Like a month? Hey, let me go, my lord? You seem to be using the front camera, right?"

5. I have been with my girlfriend for two years, and one time I suddenly asked why she fell in love with me. , she said faintly: Do you especially like to wear big sports pants in summer? And you don’t wear underwear? Me: Hmm? What does this have to do with it? Wife: One time I was sitting in front of you, and when I lowered my head to pick something up, I When I saw your ?, I felt that this was the first time I saw the real one, so I should be responsible for you?

6. When I came back from dinner, my girlfriend got angry and strode forward. I was She chased after her and shouted: "Beauty! You lost a boyfriend!" GF turned around and said fiercely: "If you lose your boyfriend, buy another one!" I asked: "Where can I buy it?" GF: "What? You want to buy it too?" "No, I'll sell it..." Suddenly, I felt that many passers-by were internally injured... 7. You can take a bath in the school public bathroom and charge by the minute. One day, a boy accidentally fell down while taking a shower. Everyone rushed to help, but the student shouted: "Leave me alone, pull out the card quickly!"

8. In the research institute, a certain department wanted to buy a refrigerator to store test samples, so he reported to his superiors. The result was not approved. When Yang Gong, an old employee in the department, saw this, he suggested to the section chief: "Try replacing the refrigerator with an artificial intelligence thermostat." The section chief complied, and within a few days, the report was approved: " agree".

9. There are two celebrities in Taiwan, one is named Xu Xiyuan and the other is named Xu Xidi. There are also two stars in Beijing, one is called Muxiyuan and the other is called Muxidi.

10. Tencent Friends selects national school beauties. Do you know who is the most popular? Not the most beautiful one, nor the one with a godfather.

Instead, Xu Aoshuang, the rising star who became popular in Diba and was held up by thousands of losers! Attached is the promotional video of Xu Aoshuang, the national school beauty from the friend network!! Remember, you are not fighting alone!

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