We love telling cold jokes.

We love to tell cold jokes

1. A male cat and a female cat are in a room (guessing riddles). Answer: Two cats. Two cats and a mouse are in the same room (guessing riddles) answer: it's still two cats, and the mouse was eaten. A male cat and a female cat are in a room (guessing riddles). Answer: Three cats gave birth to a kitten.

2. My mother gave me 3 yuan, and told me not to be bored with learning arts. I saw a family tearing down a house: Attention, the room is going to fall down. ? I learned this and ran forward, giving people 1 yuan money; Go ahead and see a milk, chase and catch up with your grandson:? Oh, you run naked! ? , and then spend 1 yuan money; See a man teach his son a lesson: Don't you dare hit me, I won't beat you flat! ? Only 1 yuan spent it again. Hurry home and shout loudly: Mom, mom, pay attention, the room is going to fall down! ? At this time, my mother is taking a bath: What? The house is about to collapse. Oh, you are running naked! ? Mom came out to see nothing, and stretched out her hand to slap me; I quickly said the third sentence:? Don't you dare hit me, I won't beat you flat! ?

3. By car, you stick your head out of the window, feel the hot air on your face, and your hair is blown away by the wind, and it is reflected picturesque in the bright sun? At this moment, Fu Shuo, the rear driver, said, Hey, will you put your face back? Your face is too big, blocking my hair!

4. Both husband and wife play games, and they also guess numbers by SMS; Man: Honey, meet 7? 2, you want 1 quadratic =1? 1? 1 to find a way, not just in that 7/8, through the difficulties, good things will be 2≦? ≧3，4? 6, I am your 1? 1。 When the wife saw her heart was happy, she immediately replied: You are my ①

5. One dark night, the boy and the girl came to the cornfield together. When preparing that, the girl suddenly said: I am hungry. The boy said: You wait, the boy took out his lighter, lit the cornfield, and soon left a large piece of popcorn. The girl said: I am cold, and the boy said: You wait, wait, wait, and the girl will die of cold.

6. Which star is the hottest in China in summer? The highest exposure? Especially on rainy days, everyone will realize him, and even the weather forecast mentions him from time to time. It's summer rain. Listen: it's raining (summer rain) again. It's expected to rain (summer rain) tomorrow.

7. I lived by the Yangtze River and went to college in other places. Once our college classmates went for an outing, I pointed to the boundless water and said proudly: Look, everyone, how about it? The Yangtze River is big and spectacular. ? As soon as I finished, I saw the scenery sign saying? Welcome to Taihu Lake? ......

8. You are not a semi-old Xu Niang, but your charm still exists; You're not a Jianghu elder, but you're a flood. If others smile at you, you just don't smile. You are still cool. Are you masked or paralyzed?

9. One day my wife and I went shopping and found a store selling almonds. Each kind looks very delicious. I want to buy one and try it. I asked the clerk: Excuse me, is this for sale alone? Shop assistant:? No, this is American? .

1. Do you know who gets angry most easily with what food? Tofu, haven't you heard of it Tofu brain (annoyed) Do you know what women fear most and what they expect most? Tofu, never heard of it: eating other people's tofu again (angry, angry or coquetry).

11. The boss told all his subordinates loudly before leaving work on Friday:? All overtime on Saturday? As a result, many people understand it as? No overtime on weekends? As a result, few people always come to work overtime on Saturday.

12, life is not a movie, life is more bitter than a movie! Some people have grievances, and there are rivers and lakes. People are floating in rivers and lakes, how can they not get stabbed? Dude, stop tasting whether tears are bitter or sweet. It's harder to be smart and more difficult to be confused. Wash and sleep!

13. A man went to collect debts. He said to the debtor with an iou. In black and white, you want to deny it? The debtor said:? No, I don't have any money now. Please give me a few more days. ? The debt collector said: Cut the crap, you can't pay back the money tomorrow, and your house is like this! ? With that, the debt collector burned the iou maliciously?

14. The wife said to her husband lightly chastising: Why did you drink too much? My husband burps and says: Every time they drink a toast to me, they say they only let me drink half, but every time they ask me to drink the bottom half, there is no way. Every time I drink a toast, I have to do it all.

15. The bell rang in the middle of the night, waking up a few good dreams and asking: What's the hurry? A: Have something to ask you? Q: What is it? A: I don't know when is the best time to sleep? ......

16. A couple is dating in the park. The boy's girl's hair is so supple that she can't help but touch it. The girl said coyly: Damn it, bad guy. "The boy wanted to touch it more. He touched it again, and the girl said:? Don't! ? The man's heart was crisp, and the stronger his desire, he touched it again. The girl got up and said angrily: Don't touch it, the wig will fall out! ?

17. When I was in junior high school, a classmate always felt that his bicycle was slow. When he came home, he loosened all the screws around the wheels with pliers, thinking that it would be quick. The next day, during the exercise, the wheels flew out of the car at high speed. . .

18. The gate of the London Olympics is closed. Don't blame the referee for losing. It's a habit for the national football team to lose. It's better to break up completely. Chinese people never look forward to it, and they don't have to shed tears. The football circle is too chaotic, how can a rooster lay eggs!

19. Xiaojun's father enrolled him in an Olympic math class. Xiaojun asked his father what the Olympic math was. Dad knew Xiaojun didn't like learning, so he lied to him and said, well, the Olympics is to teach table tennis and swim. Xiaojun is so happy to believe it. As a result, in the first class, I wore swimming trunks and was laughed for two hours. ;