More jokes

1. The husband heard that his wife was having an affair and planned revenge. One night he took his wife to bed and put concentrated rodenticide on her nipples. The next night, my wife came home late, and my husband asked why. My wife said bitterly, "Our leader is poisoned to death!" The husband asked, "Do you know who did it?" The wife said, "The murderer is very cunning." Even the police can't find out how the poison was passed, but there are clues. We are investigating Sanlu and Shengyuan milk powder. "The husband asked," Why? " "The wife said," the leader said when he died, "Oh, my God! Is there any safe milk in the world? 2. The leader spoke at the family planning publicity conference: Children are the flowers of the motherland and the growing saplings, but you have been exceeding your life span. What will happen in the future? A person in the audience replied: Greening the motherland.

3. Someone cursed in the office: The director asked for it! Director just came in: I'm asking. What are you? This person is witty: we are close to you.

4. In the restaurant, woman: Are you going to marry me or not? The man was silent. W: Don't think that nobody wants me. If I get angry, I'll find someone to marry here right away! The waiter came over: Miss, you scared away all the guests in our shop.

When a hungry wolf was looking for food, I heard a woman training her child: If you cry again, I will throw you out to feed the wolf! The child cried all night, and the wolf waited outside until dawn and sighed, liar, women are liars.

6. A prisoner was shot. Because the bullet was inferior, the first shot was not fired, and then the second shot was fired ... the third shot ... At this time, the prisoner cried: Brother, strangle me, it's really fucking scary!

7. After watching the black 100 meter run, an old lady wiped her tears and said, I was scared to death! Several coal diggers knelt in a row and were shot, but they fired without aiming. The children ran in fear, and the rope couldn't stop them!

8. Mr. Huang loves the revolution. In order to commemorate the Red Army, he named his son "Jun".

One day, I sent my son to class, and when I saw the No.8 bus coming into the station, I called to my son: Huang Jun, run! Here comes the 8th! ~~~

9. A bear went to the mountains to start a business. The farmer gave him a sickle and the carpenter gave him a hammer. When the bear came to the mountains, he met a tiger. He was so scared that he held a sickle and a hammer over his head. The tiger said, I didn't see it. You're still a producer!

10. Farmers are carrying excrement. The foreigner looked at it and asked, Grandpa, how much is this sauce?

Without saying a word, the farmer put a little in his mouth with his hand and thought, I won't tell you how much it is a catty unless you tell me.

1 1. Be sure to keep your body clean! Laugh!

A pair of lovers are walking, and the man wants to test whether his girlfriend can keep her virginity!

He asked his girlfriend, "What would you do if you were walking alone in the street late at night and suddenly a man came to kiss you?"

The girlfriend replied, "I will resist and slap him in the face."

The man asked again, "What would you do if another drunk tried to hug you at once?"

The girlfriend replied, "I will try my best not to let him succeed."

Hearing this, the man nodded happily! Continue to ask: "What would you do if another handsome guy came to ask you that kind of request?"

The girlfriend replied: "You know, women's resistance is limited after all!" "

12. A male teacher said angrily to a girl who was sleeping in class: I'm so tired up there, don't move down there! If you don't cooperate, you won't even respond If you have nothing in your stomach in the future, don't blame the teacher! Results The whole class fainted 13. There are two lovers in the park. They are very sweet. The girl spoiled her husband and said, I have a toothache ~ ~ The boy then kissed the girl and asked, Does it still hurt? The girl said no! After a while, the girl coquetry said: Husband, my neck hurts! The boy kissed the girl's neck again and asked if it still hurts this time. The girl said happily: it doesn't hurt! An old lady stood by and watched for a long time, but there was nothing she could do. She went up to him and asked the young man, young man, you are really amazing. Can you treat hemorrhoids?

14. Seven years after graduation, I finally accepted a big project to build a 30-meter chimney. The construction period is two months, and the cost is 300,000, but it needs funds. It was finally finished at the end of last year. Today, people went to check and accept, and they were scolded to death, and they still had no money. Shit, the picture is upside down. People are going to dig wells!

15. The doctor asked the patient how he broke his bone. The patient said, I felt sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes with a telephone pole. A fucking asshole passed by and thought I was electrocuted, so he grabbed a stick and gave me two.

The tortoise is hurt. Let snails buy medicine. Two hours have passed and the snail hasn't come back yet. The tortoise was in a hurry to scold: if you don't fucking come back, I'll die. At this moment, the snail's voice came from outside the door: You fucking said I wouldn't go.

17 A drunk accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by. A policeman came over: What's the matter? Drunk: I don't know. I just got here, too.

18. If someone keeps a pig, he gets bored and abandons it. However, if the pig knows the way back, it is useless to abandon it. One day, he drove a lot of cars and abandoned the pig. He called home late at night and asked, "Is the pig coming back?" Answer: "I have come back!" " It roared, "put it on the phone, I'm lost."

1. In Guiyang, there is a kind of tomato called Cat Tooth Material, and there is a kind of tomato that growls at Wei Yao. There is a profession called Blackfoot Rod, a clubhouse called Wujing Hall, a success called eating, an ending called normalization, a regret called Oh, a failure called slip of the tongue, a posture called estimation, a silence called crow, a fake called tea, a fraud called coal-riding, and a feeling called ghost fire rubbing.