Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - We agreed that I would marry you when I grew up.
We agreed that I would marry you when I grew up.
She said that in two days, it will be the Buddha's birthday every three years, and I will go back to my hometown to deal with it. Just received an elegant wedding invitation. Did you grow up together or go back together?
I was silent and said, no, I have to shoot in Beijing for several days in a row recently.
Mom sighed and said, it's strange. Why is there a photo of Ya holding a red umbrella on the invitation?
I was shocked to hear that. ...
I remember before I went to kindergarten, my mother took me to "Erythrina Photo Studio" to take an inch photo.
Naughty me, sitting on all the inflatable animal props. Uncle Photography had no choice but to ask his daughter Wen Ya to show it to me.
I didn't expect her to hug me as soon as she sat down, and I immediately calmed down like an electric shock.
Uncle finally pressed the shutter.
Later, my father and I went to the studio to draw pictures, and accidentally saw the elegance of not wanting to drink medicine. I began to help the good character I had built since I was a child. I drank all her medicines to show her.
My uncle was dumbfounded and had to buy another medicine. In order to send Buddha to the West, I wore various cartoon clothes in the photo studio to amuse her. Wen Ya Jr. took the medicine. Of course, I drank half of it. I think I'm really drunk.
It is also the experience of drinking medicine. The two of us have established a profound revolutionary friendship, and since then, we have set off a craze of lying in a small bamboo bed and watching Doraemon together.
In primary school, Wen Ya is the monitor. The monitor usually becomes a spy of the teacher and remembers the names of naughty children every day.
Of course, I won't be written down. In primary school, I have grown into a young pioneer with a sunny heart. This name was recorded by the famous trick-or-treating king turtle in the town.
The turtle's ear was pinched red by the teacher, so he stopped Wen Ya from picking on her after school.
As soon as I saw that she was in trouble, I rushed to save her. Because she is big, I have known the art of war since I was a child, so I found the right opportunity to kick him in the crotch from behind the tortoise and then pull it away gracefully.
Soon, at the weekend, when I was dragged to play "Dad" by Wen Ya, the tortoise retaliated with several people. Seeing that all the carefully prepared things were destroyed, Wen Ya cried directly.
I got angry and started fighting back. I clenched my fist, centered on my arm, and swung the famous turtle fist. The powerful boxing kept the tortoise from approaching within three meters, so after a few punches, I was thrown out directly by the tortoise. In order not to destroy my glorious image, I omitted the subsequent disparity in strength.
Dad is a famous painter in the town, so he knew something about ancient lacquerware in China since he was a child. So a great revenge campaign quietly began.
In class on Monday, the teacher shouted to stand up, only to hear a "scoff." The tortoise's trousers were stuck with paint and tore directly. Seeing the live broadcast of fat white ass, the students all laughed, followed by a wow. I didn't expect the big guy in my eyes to cry when I was a child. At that time, I saw Wen Ya smile and felt that everything was worth it.
After school, the tortoise changed his pants and stood on the bridge of things to stop me. I dare not go home and wander around the town. I didn't expect Wen Ya to find me and take me to the photo studio.
Wen Ya took out her precious "orange petal fudge" and we ate and watched Doraemon. By this time, the TV was already in color, and I realized that Doraemon was a blue fat man and was excited for a long time.
We fell asleep watching and woke up the next morning. It was a beautiful night, but Xiaoya cried. She said that if you spend the night with a man, you will get pregnant. What should I do?
I was confused on the spot. What logic is this? Later, I finally explained that pregnancy requires two people to stick their navel to their navel when they sleep.
Elegant and relieved, but from now on, we can't hug each other while lying and watching TV, and we have to follow each other one meter away. How many times have I strangled my childhood directly?
At that time, Wen Ya and I often stole her father's camera to play. Later, my uncle found out, but he was not angry. Instead, he told me that I could learn photography from him when I grew up. Suddenly I planted a martial arts elder to send me to school for life.
At that time, Louis Koo's version of "Heroes of the Condor" was empty, and we kept humming the theme song when we were idle. "That time you left inadvertently became my constant sorrow for a long time ..." At that time, she happened to have a white skirt, so I always joked that I should call you aunt.
Wen Ya said, well, I'll call you Deng.
I said, no, please call me son.
Later, I fell in love with martial arts films and was bullied by turtles. I fantasize about being a warrior who climbs over the eaves and walks through the city walls.
Soon, the opportunity for the hero came. Wenya danced rubber bands with some girls, and the tortoise brought some friends to make trouble.
At that time, I really felt that I could fly over the eaves and walk over the wall, and I could shock people around me with one hand.
Sure enough, the tortoise fell to the ground as soon as I handed it over, so he rode me and hit me, and the subsequent process was full of tears.
Xia won't let it go, let alone be beaten in front of Fenghua. It's a shame. So in the summer, I finally adopted the Jianghu rules-taking my mother to sue my parents, and my mother played a special role-scolding the street, and finally ended with a wonderful performance in which a turtle child was beaten to pieces by his parents.
Later, I began to learn to ride a bike, which is a Phoenix brand black triangle bike.
I can't wait to show Wen Ya when I can almost skate a distance with one foot. Who knows that I accidentally stepped on my balls and directly hit the shelf. The dull pain like abortion is hard to describe in words.
However, after that, I practiced harder and I soon rode like a tiger. Until today, I seem to understand that men do everything to please girls.
After I learned it, I began to teach elegance. Whenever she casts serious and adoring eyes, I have a sense of accomplishment in creating words and spreading the flame of civilization. When we come back by bike, my uncle wants to take pictures of us. At that time, we didn't have the thinking of giving and receiving. I held her shoulder and took a photo directly, and put it on the bedside table after washing.
Then, once, the tortoise and some friends on bicycles blocked my way.
Wen Ya is in the back seat, I think, you don't lose your temper. Do you think I'm a prawn?
So I clenched my hands and raised my feet high-quickly put down the front of the car and rode up!
I threw them several meters from the banyan tree to the bridge, but I couldn't beat them. Can I still run? I'm too smart.
However, people are not as good as heaven. At the end of the bridge, I accidentally ran over a stone, and Wen Ya and I both fell.
The tortoise and others also took the opportunity to surround me, but what I never expected was that the tortoise actually came to pull me up and begged me.
It turns out that turtles have also learned to ride bicycles and have been racing with friends in the next town in Dongxi. The situation is very tragic. If they lose, they will pay for the cartoon card of the Three Kingdoms. Later, the tortoise saw that I was going well, so he came to ask for help.
After receiving their invitation, I refused in good faith. How can I be so righteous?
The tortoise said, come and watch the game with us, and give you ten Three Kingdoms cards.
I said, not less than fifteen.
The tortoise said it was a deal.
It was sunny on the day of the competition. We rode from the banyan tree to the bridge and I won the championship successfully. At that time, I looked elegant and happy, and I laughed like an S-driver.
I gave up the card as the final trophy, but the true knowledge stick.
All my friends around me are stupid, only I understand. When Wen Ya and I sat under the banyan tree and ate a knowledge stick to celebrate her happy smile, everything became clear.
At this moment, a groom passed by us on a bicycle, and the bride was carrying a red umbrella.
I glanced at the bride's face and felt that elegance would be so beautiful when I grew up.
I said, yeah, I'll ride your bike when I grow up.
Wen Ya asked, will you marry me?
I nodded and said, yes, I will marry you when I grow up.
Wen Ya said happily, OK, then I'll take a red umbrella and remember to pick me up.
At that time, children talked nonsense and didn't understand the concept of marriage at all. It's just a simple pleasure.
Before graduating from primary school, the school organized us to climb Xuefeng Mountain.
At that time, I wandered around gracefully and got lost. It is getting late.
I told her, don't be afraid, I'm here. I'll go first.
Ten meters away, Wen Ya turned to me and said, didn't you tell me not to be afraid of you leading the way?
I hey hey smile.
I chickened out because of Ching-Ying Lam's zombie movie.
In order to cover up my fear, I suggest that I wait for the teacher instead of getting lost. I didn't expect this suggestion to be a really bad idea. The teacher didn't come until dark. In the middle of nowhere, insects are blown by the wind, just like scenes in zombie movies.
I said, what should I do? What if a zombie suddenly jumps out?
At first, she was gentle, but when I said this, she became afraid, so I quickly tried to save her.
I am extremely clever, and the way I came up with is to hold my breath and bite my finger.
At that time, it was really a little blood on my finger, which was only stabbed with a sharp branch. To be on the safe side, I also learned Uncle Ying's trick-urine.
I picked up two pieces of cloth, poured them on the boy's year, and covered my nose. This is really attractive. ...
Finally, the teacher found us and saw that our heads were tied with wet cloth, which smelled of urine. Everyone was dumbfounded.
It was already junior high school when we took a group photo in white shirts. At that time, urbanization developed rapidly, and the town no longer needed lacquer painting. Father went to Zhangjiakou to sell sanitary ware for a living.
My uncle really kept his promise to teach me photography. By studying photography at her home, I take Wen Ya to school every day and make her a model at school.
But once I drove Wen Ya home after school, and a classmate told us that she was my little wife behind our backs. I noticed Wen Ya's unhappy face, and then there were more and more rumors. Every time I sent her home, I found that she deliberately avoided it.
Junior high school is always so ignorant. I can understand my inner feelings for elegance, but I'm still afraid that if I take one more step, I'll cross the line and I won't even be friends. I dare not pick her up again, and our communication is getting less and less.
Once again, I communicated with Wen Ya, and my best friend invited me to drink Sprite and asked me to write a love letter to chase her.
Actually, I just want to get close to Wen Ya again on the grounds of helping. Later, I saw that the chicken leg blocked Wen Ya with my love letter and then stuffed it into her hand.
At that time, I was thinking, if only I were the one who stuffed the love letter. However, there are not so many ifs and buts in this world.
Sure enough, I didn't understand why Sprite was no longer served on chicken legs until I saw them gracefully sent home after school.
But in less than two weeks, the chicken leg immediately put three bottles of Sprite on my desk.
I refuse to say that no amount of sprite will help you write this time.
He said, not writing a love letter.
I asked, what is that?
He said, accompany me to propose.
I was dumbfounded. ...
The so-called "proposal" is to let me take him to the studio to play.
He knew that he would go to the photo studio alone to find elegance, and his wicked heart would definitely be swept away by his uncle.
And I've been in the studio since I was a child. If I take him with me, I won't be suspected, and I can chat with Wen Ya aboveboard.
God, it's a big move to pick up girls and hurt friends.
At that time, I simply thought it was my own business to secretly love someone, and I wouldn't object to my good friend chasing her. As long as everyone is happy together, I won't be jealous. Looking back now, I really feel mean. It seems that all the people who secretly love her are being mean.
The result of being a bitch is chicken legs playing with Wen Ya in the room. The chicken leg seems to have prepared a hundred cold jokes in advance and kept talking, leaving me hanging aside directly.
The day after Wen Ya's birthday is coming, and the chicken leg asks me for help.
I said, occupy the radio station during morning exercises and give me bold wishes in front of all teachers and students.
The chicken leg twitched and said, ok, then you shout for me and sign your name.
I quickly updated my tactics and made a division of labor.
Mom, the chicken leg put me in charge of setting off fireworks, and then he was responsible for giving gifts.
That night, the chicken leg was prepared for Wen Ya with a robot cat doll. I secretly set off fireworks in the playground and suddenly tripped when I was about to escape.
Turn around and look, wipe, security teacher.
I was recorded, and the gentle one was even worse. The "puppy love" storm between her and the drumstick reached home, and menstruation grounded her.
Knowing this news, I was complacent and thought it was a good thing that I didn't confess, otherwise I would never come to the studio again.
At that time, I really wanted to ask Wen Ya if she accepted the confession of chicken legs.
I didn't ask until I saw the robot cat doll on her bedside table instead of our photo.
This is really a silly question.
In the winter vacation of the third grade, in order to avoid menstruation, the drumstick asked me to ask Wen Ya out to play.
I refused at first, but the drumstick said that elegant reading is so good that high school can't be in the same school. Let me help my brother for the last time. I can only nod at this point.
On the same day, I was waiting at the intersection by bike, and finally I saw Wen Ya coming. The chicken leg was killed by a motorcycle.
Mo's pk foot has no competitive strength at all.
The drumstick flew away gracefully, and I chased it weakly on my bike and soon disappeared.
I managed to catch up with the rice fields, and the chicken legs asked me to take pictures of them. Then he provided 100,000 cold jokes. Once again, I was the only one taking pictures of the scenery, and I had to look at them from time to time. It's really embarrassing.
After the senior high school entrance examination, my father opened a bathroom shop in Qiaodong District of Zhangjiakou and asked my mother to help. We will move our family there.
Tanabata before the start of school, when Tanabata was just launched.
In the evening, I suddenly got a call from menstruation, saying that Wen Ya was at your house?
I was dumbfounded. Wen Ya didn't come to my house. But when you think about it, it must be a gentle lie.
So I lied for her and said, yes.
Aunt said, and then put her on the phone.
Oh, my god, this is really an eternal series. ...
A chicken leg came running to save the scene with Wen Ya.
I was supposed to lie for her, but it turned out to be their field to save me. What the hell!
Later, I realized that they were dating, and Wen Ya told my aunt about me.
After the party, we sent Ya to the corner of the photo studio. The drumstick quickly stopped and left, and Leah sat in the back seat of my bike. Many years later, I was pregnant with you again.
Just a dozen meters, I rode slowly, and I felt unusually quiet all night, so quiet that I could hear her breathing.
My uncle stopped me before I went home.
He said that you and Liang Ya were not in the same school when they were in high school, so take a group photo as a souvenir.
I dare not hold her hand when taking a group photo. My uncle looked at the camera and said, Ya, please hold A Qiang's hand.
Hearing this, I suddenly felt a sense of happiness, as if my uncle had taken wedding photos for us.
I didn't expect this to be the last photo.
When I go home, gently walk me to the door.
She suddenly asked, can we meet again in the future?
I smiled and said, of course, we agreed that as long as you hold the red umbrella, I will pick you up.
Smile gently and say, do you remember when you were a child?
I said, well, always remember.
Leaving home is the "Purdue Festival" in my hometown. I went to the post office and anonymously put all these elegant photos into the post office and sent them to her.
When the bus started, I watched the long "Tianxiang" parade parade parade through the streets, all the way along the east and west to the village deep in the rice fields.
I remember walking here holding Ya's hand when I was a child, and then I told her to marry me when I grew up. I used to remember riding a bike and carrying you along this road.
Later, we separated, one south and one north, so far away, in a word, I was disheartened.
……
Many years later, I went back to my hometown again and went to Erythrina photo studio first.
Due to the prevalence of digital photo studios, the business of photo studios has been sluggish. Unexpectedly, there was a photo of Ya and I from childhood hanging on the window. From the photo of her holding me in kindergarten to the photo of us holding my arm after the senior high school entrance examination, I was filled with emotion.
At this time, I suddenly heard my aunt calling her elegant name. I don't know why, I seem to have returned to my childhood mentality and quickly avoided it.
Maybe things are different. I don't know how to speak when I see her again.
At dinner, chicken legs came to me for a drink. I was surprised because the groom was not him.
After shopping for half a circle, the chicken leg told me a lot of elegant things.
It was Wen Ya's birthday. After watching the fireworks, they want to give Wen Ya a robot cat doll. Because they are too nervous, just say I entrusted him with it.
I was dumbfounded.
Chicken leg also said, in fact, they didn't feel in love at that time, just playing together, and he felt that Wen Ya cared more about me. Come out and take a photo with me, and ask her out to my house to play on Tanabata Day.
Shit, I suddenly don't know how to answer the phone when I hear this. I really want to beat chicken legs, and I want to beat myself more.
Finally, the chicken leg said "Purdue Day" that day. Later, Wen Ya skipped class and came back to see me for the last time. He and Wen Ya shuttled in the queue to see him off, but there were too many people marching and our car was too fast. Wen Ya shouted all the way, but she still missed it. After coming back, she cried for a long time.
Hearing this, my eyes suddenly got wet.
The chicken leg said, why? I cried.
I said, no, I choked on the wine.
The chicken leg patted me on the shoulder and said that I was drunk and laughed with the public for 30 thousand games. There is no need to sue for divorce. Drinking too much is never easy.
Haha, I made this up. Chicken legs are not so literary. What he said is that if we are unhappy, forget it. We won't come back until we get drunk.
When the wedding March sounded, the groom walked slowly with gentle hands.
This is the first time I saw a gentle face when I grew up, just like I saw her side face in Dongxi when I was a child, like a cloudless rice field in Wan Li, so beautiful and so far away.
At this time, there are photos on the slide, but the photos are not wedding photos, but elegant photos from childhood to adulthood. Look carefully, these photos are actually taken by me. They look like stories of memories, and my eyes suddenly get wet.
At this point, the chicken leg patted me on the shoulder, and he handed me a paper towel, which was a paper towel on the dining table. There is an elegant umbrella sketch printed on it, and then there is a line next to it: I will marry you when I grow up.
Seeing this sentence, I ran to the stage in despair. ...
It's like a simple teenager on the bank of Dongxi River, holding elegant hands and running in the endless rice fields. At that time, he felt that the elegant side face was as beautiful as a golden rice field. At that time, he ran over and smelled the delicious rice fragrance on elegant body. At that time, the mature ears of rice were happy for the whole town.
I never understood that adults always like to talk about their childhood. Now, the older they grow up, the more they will miss the past, and finally understand that childhood brings us such pure and broken emotions. All efforts do not ask for so-called return, let alone distinguish between love and friendship. Everything is to please each other.
Yes, everyone has childhood friends.
Maybe she will accompany you all your life, or she may leave halfway. If we can grow old together, it will be the happiest thing in this life. If there is no fate, we will still be grateful, because it is their company that keeps us growing.
Perhaps, in those days, there were not so many regrets that made people sad. All reunions are happy, and what is lost is called hide and seek. We are all looking for that happy self forever. ...
What different truths have you learned when you grow up? Son, why does mother want you to grow up in the countryside? What will the children with the first and last grades do when they grow up?
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