A simple and funny joke

First, my mother says you can't make irresponsible friends, so all my friends are idiots.

Second, wife: You gave me clothes of 100 yuan, which is an insult to me. Apologizing is too insincere. I won't accept it. Husband: What can I do to make you accept it? Wife: Buy at least one from 200 yuan.

Third, British love experts say from the perspective of boys: girls should be more active. If you just wait for men to come to you, you may wait for love rat, because many decent boys have no idea how to pick up girls.

When I was a child, I went to the zoo to see tigers, and vowed to have one when I grew up. Now my dream has finally come true. Anyway, it's time to wash clothes and cook for my wife later!

6. Some people are good at geography, physics, history, mathematics, Chinese, English and chemistry. I have a good attitude.

Seven, my parents are always worried that I spend money indiscriminately, but I don't worry about whether I have money to spend.

Eight, others care about whether you fly high or not, whether you are tired or not. Only I really care whether your wings are delicious in stewed coke or braised in brown sauce!

Watching TV with my husband in the living room at night. It's late, my husband said to sleep! I carry my husband behind my back. "Husband, I want you to carry me in!" " "My husband looked at me and said," Forget it, I'll move the bed out for you! " "

Today, I asked my wife, "If a man is ugly but rich, will you accept it?" ? "Wife:" Why not? I want you to be poor and ugly. "

XI。 Now, what you can't climb up is your grades, what you can't get down is your weight, what you can afford to put down is chopsticks, and what you can't get in and out is the quilt.

12. When I was a child, I looked down on those scum who fell in love. Now that I think about it, I think those students are really amazing. They met someone at a young age.

Thirteen, we can't lengthen the length of life, but we can expand the width of life. I think this sentence is so reasonable! It means: although you can't grow taller, you can still gain weight.

14. Today, I saw my ex-girlfriend sitting in the back seat of a battery car, holding her current boyfriend's waist, shivering with cold. I raised my mouth, smiled smugly and got on the warm bus.

I like to be friends with foodies. They are all very kind, because foodies are studying what to eat all day and have no time to harm people.

Sixteen, the female manager took a nap and stole her WeChat group: "I am pregnant." Who expected the boss to reply: "Are you sure? This is not a joke. " When we saw the news, we were all shocked. As a result, the boss replied: "The project will be established next, and you are not responsible." I think there's a problem.

Seventeen, poverty limits so many things, why not limit my weight?

Why can't I lose weight? Because I like to eat when I am happy, and I have a better appetite when I am unhappy.

Super short jokes make people smile from ear to ear.

Nineteen, my sister-in-law went on a honeymoon after getting married, but she was unhappy after the honeymoon. I asked her, "What's the matter?" "She endured for a long time and said," Brother-in-law, your car is very spacious. His car is too small, so it is uncomfortable to sit. "

In order to prevent me from spending money indiscriminately next month, I spent all my money in advance, so I am clean and upright.

Twenty-one, eating noodles in the noodle restaurant In the morning, a couple opposite were also eating noodles. The woman unscrewed the iced tea and took a sip. She looked at the bottle cap and said, "Honey, what's another bottle?" "Her husband said he didn't know, so the woman threw the bottle cap underground, and then they got up and left after eating noodles. Just after a few steps, I squatted down and picked up the bottle cap, which read "Thank you for your patronage". When the couple turned around, the woman said, "Bring me a hundred dollars quickly, and I told you someone would pick it up! "