Humorous jokes about chatting with girls

1. I was sitting in the shop when suddenly a child rushed in and jumped on me, which scared me to death. I thought someone had hurt the child, and then she hid under the table, and a man and a woman followed her and looked around. I thought of the trafficker, but I didn't say anything, so I let her hide. Soon she hugged my leg and screamed, and someone outside came in to pull her. I didn't see anything for a long time, except that she said piteously, "Aunt! Help me! I don't want an injection! "

There is a little girl at home, and I braided her hair one morning. Lori: "Mom, do you know why my eyes are so big?" Me: "Do you still need to ask? Of course, because mom and dad have big eyes. " Lori: "No." Me: "Then why did you say that?" Lori: "Because you pulled my eyelids up when you braided my hair."

3. After going to primary school after work, I saw a little girl asking the little boy, "Do you know all the questions in today's exam?" Little boy: "Yes." Little girl: "Can you play basketball?" Little boy: "Yes, yes." Little girl: "Then what can't you do?" Little boy: "I won't dislike you." As a result, the little girl kissed the little boy. I'm going against the sky, my love. Think about yourself again. I deserve to be single. Ah, what a painful understanding. ...

The soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a mine in the battle? The company commander was greatly annoyed: "Depend, what can I do? Step on the price compensation. "

5. Female: "I can marry anyone as long as I have money." Man: "Will you marry the safe in the bank?"

6. Patient: "Doctor, you left your scissors in my stomach." "Never mind, I have another one."

7. Chasing a girl recently failed ... Call my mother at night and tell her not to chase girls. Too much trouble. I'll wait for the girls to chase me later. On the other end of the phone, my mother said coldly, "People should learn to recognize themselves ... recognize themselves ..."

8. My best friend and I went to the hospital for examination and found that we were pregnant for two months. I wanted to give my husband good news, but my mobile phone was dead, so I had to borrow my best friend's mobile phone and send him a short message: I am pregnant. I didn't remember that I didn't sign it until I sent it successfully. I just want to resend it. Husband has replied: honey, really? Where are you now? I'll pick you up! I seem to understand something. ...

I saw a beautiful little girl on my way to work today, so I followed her. She seemed to find me following her, so she ran a short distance. I think, if I don't grasp this fate, I may regret it all my life, so I chased it up and said, "Beauty, can you give me your phone number?" She ran away in panic with trembling hands and a mobile phone in her hand. ...

10. I went to buy steamed buns today and said to the boss who sold steamed buns, "Boss, what flavor of steamed buns is the best?" The boss said, "Meat buns are delicious." I replied, "Give me a white sugar one."

1 1. When I was in college, I heard a roommate say that one of his friends expressed his feelings: "My brother is getting married." A message: "Your boy won't get on the boat first and then make up the ticket, will he?" Congratulations! " Later reply: "Not me, but my brother ..."

12. Chatting with a sister, the sister said, "I like watching movies very much, so you like playing games." I said, "Watching movies is boring. Hands are always idle and unhappy. " My sister suddenly said, "You won't find a movie that can be used ~" You know how to use your hands ... your hands? !

13. Do you know that I met a mentally retarded person yesterday? I've never seen such a stupid person? As for how stupid? Let me tell you this, he may have a lower IQ than you!

14. A lady reported to the Bureau of Public Security Experts that her husband was missing. The policeman asked, "When did he disappear?" "Two weeks ago." "Then why did you report the case today?" "I just remembered today, because today is his pay day."

15. I'm a little handsome. One day, I sat in a board game bar in a daze. Suddenly, three sisters invited me to play games with them. One of the girls is very good at boasting about how rich her family is. She owns this board game bar ... but how can I remember that I am the boss? When did she become mine?

16. The farmer slept naked in the orchard and was awakened by laughter. The result was ... a monkey stood in front of him and laughed wildly. The farmer asked inexplicably, "What are you laughing at?" The monkey said, "I have eaten fruits all my life, and I saw bananas and lychees grow together for the first time."