Tell a joke! !

1. Today, I was wandering in the street and saw a car slowly approaching me. I took a closer look, and there was no driver on the bus. I quickly went to open the door, jumped into the car, stepped on the brake and pulled the hand brake. Suddenly, two young men came out from behind the car and pointed at my nose and cursed. Can't you see that my car is out of gas? Can't you see that we are pushing a cart? fuck/damn it

2. When I was born, he helped me find a fortune-teller who was famous for dozens of miles in Fiona Fang, Fiona Fang. The master said that I am very good-looking and have the spirit of an emperor. When you grow up, you have to go in and out by car, wave flags everywhere, frequent luxury hotels and places of interest, and a large group of people follow you everywhere! Now it seems that his calculation is really accurate, because I am a tour guide now. ...

My deskmate is a bookworm. Once she was taking notes in class and suddenly couldn't remember how to write the word "Geng", so she asked me and I said "Hall".

She suddenly turned red with anger, and then whispered to me with her head down and gnashing her teeth, "You ... you are so stupid, your whole family is stupid ..."

After work, I eat in the canteen. A buddy gave me a salted duck egg, and I was eating it. A younger brother also went upstairs for dinner. I saw a salted duck egg here and said, "Brother, let me taste your egg. Is it salty? "

A buddy next to him said, "He hasn't bathed for several days."