Our class sings the original dream of cantata. Can anyone help me think of a humorous recitation or a creative opening?

Hello, fellow tour members:

We welcome everyone from the north to our Guangdong tour. When you come to Guangdong, you will find some things that are different from the living habits in the north. For example, we are going to have a meal soon. As soon as we sit down, the waitress will come and ask everyone what kind of tea we drink. In the north, tea is usually drunk after a meal. Don't say you don't drink tea. I came to Guangdong from the north to work. When I first came to Guangdong, I made a joke about not drinking tea.

As soon as I entered the hotel and sat down, the waitress came and asked me what kind of tea I wanted to drink. I thought about eating, eating, drinking soup would cause knots, and what kind of tea was drinking, so I answered: "No." ". The waitress looked me up and down with strange eyes. After a while, she kindly said, "Tea is free." This made me very embarrassed. Another time, as soon as I sat down, the waitress asked me what kind of tea I wanted to drink, and I replied again that I would not drink it. This time, the lady also looked me up and down, and then said a little fiercely: "If you don't drink it, you will still be charged for the tea! ". Now wherever I eat, I drink tea obediently.

So everyone, just do as the Romans do. Regardless of whether you have the habit of drinking tea before meals or not, just order some tea. This will save you a lot of trouble. In Guangdong, black tea is generally drunk, and many northerners are not used to it. However, there is a chrysanthemum tea made from pure white chrysanthemum. It is suitable for all ages. It is refreshing and relieves inflammation, and the taste is fragrant and pleasant. Everyone should give it a try.

Another thing you need to pay attention to when coming to Guangdong is speaking. You may have felt it from the moment you get off the plane. People around you either speak a language you don’t understand at all, or speak in a strange accent. In Mandarin, his tongue is forced to roll, which makes him tired just listening to it. There is a saying in Guangdong: "I am not afraid of the sky or the earth. I am afraid that the Cantonese people speak Mandarin." They can't even say the three words "Mandarin" well. They say it like "baking winter melon." Later they often simply say mockingly to themselves. I'm making winter melon again.

The most famous "winter melon stew" expert in Guangdong is our former governor Li Ziliu. Once he said on TV that he went to report to General Secretary Jiang and mentioned that some projects had increased. 40. After talking about it several times, General Secretary Jiang still asked him, "Lao Li, are you talking about 40 or 14?" He was so anxious that he was sweating profusely. At this time, he was really ashamed. He also has several famous jokes. Once he took the National People's Congress deputies to inspect the construction of a community. He said, "Sit on the bow of the boat and look at the communities. Each one is more beautiful than the last." However, the deputies heard it as "Sitting on the bedside and watching." My little wives, one is more beautiful than the other. "I almost made a mistake. Therefore, speaking Mandarin well is an important task for Guangdong officials now. Nowadays, all cadres in Guangdong are required to have a half-hour recording project to assess whether they speak Mandarin well or not.

In addition to officials, ordinary people are now paying more and more attention to learning to speak Mandarin, but it is really a difficult task for their tongues that never have to curl up. I remember once I took a group on a bus. We were on a Northern Airlines flight. The flight attendants all spoke Mandarin. The noise in the cabin was a bit loud when they came to pour me drinks. The flight attendant didn’t hear me clearly when I asked for “orange juice.” As a result, there were several Guangdong group members next to me. They all spoke Cantonese Mandarin and said to the stewardess: "I want to squeeze the chicken!" The stewardess was dumbfounded, and the more help she got, the more help she got.

Okay, fellow group members, our restaurant is almost here. When you are dining, if a waiter comes and asks you, "Would you like some chicken?" you will know what's going on, right? ?