Horrible humor jokes

A Complete Collection of Horror Humor Jokes

People who can tell jokes all have a sense of humor, so the possibility of depression is greatly reduced. Let's take a look at horror humor jokes and see your humor index!

Horrible humor jokes (1)

1. Once upon a time, there was a man who had a girlfriend. He loves her more than anyone else in the world.

But one day, his girlfriend left him mercilessly without even giving him a reason.

Seeing his girlfriend shopping arm in arm, he was in agony and lost his mind.

finally one day he killed his girlfriend.

He was going to kill her and then committed suicide. But when I am dying, I feel the value of life.

From then on, he was haunted by nightmares every day. In the dream, his girlfriend was naked, with long hair,

her red tongue fell to the ground and her fingers were like hooks to kill him.

The nightmare tortured him. He was like a pin bone. One day, he found a Taoist priest and begged to get rid of him.

The Taoist priest asked him to do three things

First, bury his girlfriend's body properly

Second, burn her pajamas

Third, wash the hidden bloody clothes

All things must be finished before midnight, or there will be a fatal disaster!

He did everything carefully according to the orders of the Taoist priest, but the bloody coat was nowhere to be found.

It's almost midnight. Beads of sweat are dripping from his face and the carpet is wet.

He found the bloodstained garment in the middle of the night, but no matter how he rubbed it, he couldn't wash it off.

at this moment, there was a strong wind, lightning and thunder. The window was swaying from side to side by the strong wind, and the sound of broken glass made people even more jumpy. Suddenly all the lights went out and the whole room was dark.

In the lightning, I saw his girlfriend wearing pajamas stained with blood, with blood dripping in her eyes, pointing at him with a ferocious face and harsh voice:? Do you know why the blood can't be washed away?

He was too scared to say a word.

His girlfriend continued: Idiot, because you're useless, diao card washing powder. ?

2. At night, my husband hugged me and was about to fall asleep. The goods said something in my ear that startled me. This life is really short. ?

I'm surprised, really? This? I was still thinking about how he suddenly said this,

I was still thinking about how to comfort him, and then this guy said: I can't even cover my feet. It's so cold. ?

you idiot! I'm scared shit?

3. One hand is hanging on the wall, grayish yellow, with a little bloodshot, and slightly trembling. At this time, a man took off his hand, picked up a knife and cut it skillfully. Soon, a plate of chicken feet with soy sauce and vinegar was cut. Horrible humor jokes (2)

1. A man knocked on a funeral shop in the middle of the night and said that he would pick something to burn for his tragic wife.

The shopkeeper warmly received him. After careful selection, he finally bought some gold ingots and candles.

but after a while, he turned back and said he wanted to change some mingbi.

the shopkeeper thought it was strange, but he agreed in a friendly way.

but soon the man knocked on the door again, looking sorry, took out Mingbi and said he wanted to change some paper clothes.

The shopkeeper remained patient and promised him.

Half an hour later, the violent knock on the door woke the shopkeeper again. He opened the door impatiently and found a man standing at the door.

he said that he wanted to change his shopping into a paper house again.

The shopkeeper finally broke out and said angrily. What the hell do you want to buy! ?

　? You think I want to? ! ? The man was angry, too, and angrily turned to a woman across the street and shouted: Damn, why don't you just come in and choose it yourself! ?

2. There is an old man with gray hair and bright eyes. He often wears an old-fashioned Chinese tunic suit, much like a national cadre in the 195s. Every morning, he gives an international radio station a program to learn English every day. The program is broadcast live, and his home is very far from the international radio station (in Babaoshan). So the old professor will go there before dawn every day. One day, the old professor got up late. Don't be late. Take a taxi.

　? Master, go to Babaoshan. ?

in the early morning fog, the master felt cold.

The old professor kept a serious expression all the way, and said nothing. Master flew all the way, but it was a long way, and it was almost time for live broadcast.

The old professor grabbed the master's shoulder in a hurry. Come on, come on, it's almost dawn!

3. One day, Mr. Wang found that his 5-year-old son Xiao Ming was acting strangely.

Towards evening, he stood alone at the window and waved, as if he were still mumbling something.

Mr. Wang quietly walked behind Xiaoming, but he heard Xiaoming say: Goodbye, grandpa.

Mr. Wang looked out of the window, but there was no one. This has been the case for several days in a row. At this time, Xiao Ming stood at the window and repeated the words that made Mr. Wang creepy.

finally, Mr. Wang couldn't help it. He called his son. Xiao Ming, who do you say goodbye to at this time every day?

　? Grandpa. ? Xiao Ming looks naive. Mr. Wang's scalp exploded when he heard it. Where? Which father-in-law

　? Grandpa sun ~? Horrible humor jokes (3)

1. A man was walking in the cemetery, and he was afraid because there was no one around.

Suddenly, he heard the sound of knocking on a stone.

His heart was cold. Is it really haunted here?

so, he walked carefully to the place where the noise was made.

I saw a man knocking on a tombstone.

The big stone in his heart finally fell.

then ask:? What are you doing?

The man pointed to the tombstone and replied:? They wrote my name wrong! ?

2. A woman was on the night shift, and a man was following her.

The woman was so scared that she passed by the grave and had an idea.

She said to the grave, Dad, I'm back. Open the door.

The man was frightened and ran away screaming.

The woman was at ease and was about to leave when a deep voice came from the grave:

Daughter, you forgot to bring your spoon again.

the woman was horrified and ran away.

At this moment, a grave robber emerged from the grave and said, Shit, I'm scared to death by delaying my work!

3. On the day of Tomb-Sweeping Day, a man found a thick wallet on the road.

exultation, when I opened it, it was all paper money!

Yangtian Road:? How to find such good luck in life! ?

So he grabbed his wallet and killed himself on the side of the road!

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