Humorous jokes coax girls.

Humorous jokes and humorous chats to coax girls will make the other party feel very happy and quickly narrow the distance between them. It also needs some emotional intelligence and eloquence to make girls happy. Here are some humorous jokes to coax girls.

Humorous jokes coax girls 1 1. One day, the cow gave the donkey a difficult problem and asked which of the two bugs under the word "stupid" was male and which was female. The donkey racked his brains, but he still couldn't answer. Cow scolds: What a donkey, male left and female right!

2. Seven years after graduation, I finally accepted a big project to build a 30-meter chimney, with a construction period of two months and a cost of 300,000 yuan, but I had to pay for it myself. It was finally finished at the end of last year. Today, people went to check and accept, and they were scolded to death, and they still had no money. ! The drawings are upside down, and people are going to dig wells!

A drunk accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by to watch. A policeman came over: What's the matter? Drunk: I don't know. I just arrived.

The doctor asked the patient how he broke his bone. The patient said, I felt sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes with a telephone pole. One of them passed by and thought I was electrocuted, so he picked up a stick and gave me two!

5. The tortoise is hurt. Let snails buy medicine. Two hours later. The snail hasn't come back yet. The tortoise was in a hurry to scold: if I don't come back, I will die! At this time, the snail's voice came from outside the door: you said I wouldn't go!

6. Someone keeps a pig, and hates and dislikes it, but the pig knows the way back, and it is useless to dislike it. One day, he drove a lot of cars and abandoned the pig. He called home late at night and asked, "Is the pig coming back?" Answer: "I have come back!" " It growled, "put it on the phone, I'm lost!"

7. The elephant accidentally stepped on the ant's nest, and the ant crawled on the elephant. The elephant shook its body and the ants fell down. At this time, there was another elephant around its neck, and the fallen ant shouted "strangle it".

8. One morning in computer class, a row of classmates' computers crashed. So a classmate stood up and said, "Teacher, the computer crashed, and our platoon was all dead." At this time, many students said, "We are dead, too." Then the teacher asked, "Who else is not dead?" Only one classmate stood up and said, "I'm not dead yet!" " "The teacher said strangely," the whole class is dead. Why don't you die? "

9. When I was a sophomore, all the girls in the dormitory liked Emil Wakin Chau's songs, and one tape was borrowed by everyone. One day, the girl in the upper bunk asked: Where is my Emil Wakin Chau? The girl in the lower bunk replied, It's in my bed! There was silence for two seconds, and then everyone fell on the bed.

Humorous jokes coax girls 2 1. A year ago, my husband often called other mm because he was jealous. My husband hasn't called a mm this year. Now men call him every day, talking and laughing, and don't hang up for half an hour.

2. Mom: Pierre, do you want some cookies? Pierre didn't respond. His mother asked, Pierre, do you want a biscuit? Pierre said, Yes, Mom. Mom said: Why should I ask you twice? Pierre: Because I want to eat two tablets.

3. A classmate always uses other people's toilet paper when going to the toilet, and never buys it himself. Once, someone saw him holding paper and said angrily, "why do you always use other people's toilet paper?" Won't you buy it yourself? " He said, "Why are you so stingy? It's just a little toilet paper. I'll pay you back when I run out! "

It is said that my cousin can't cook, and her mother doesn't like her. She didn't like getting married last year and went to work with her husband for a year. She went home for the New Year and cooked a delicious table for the whole family. Her mother burst into tears on the spot and sobbed, you have suffered.

Pig Bajie always cries tired on the way to the Western Heaven. Later, he said, "If there is a bus, we can go to the Western Heaven soon." Friar Sand: "By plane?" The Monkey King: "Space Rocket" Tang Priest: "Let's get on the fast horse and hit the mountain, and we will go to the west soon."

6. I went to buy breakfast in the morning and found that the seller of eggs and cakes was gone. This is very strange. Ask the uncle in the next shop, uncle, didn't the breakfast seller come out today? Uncle's opening is the climax: young man, the city management came five minutes earlier than you. . .

7. I was playing computer in my room, and I heard my mother say in the next room, "Hold on tight, don't let me fall." I ran next door and saw my mother changing curtains and my father helping my mother. So I stared at it. My mother asked her why. I replied, "according to your relationship, my father may have pushed you up. I'll be a witness." My father beat me up.

8. The Tang Priest, the Monkey King, Pig, Bajie and Friar Sand were overweight by plane. Each of them dropped something. Tang Priest dropped a bag of rice, the Monkey King dropped a knife, Pig dropped a Grenade, and Friar Sand found their things after getting off the plane. When they arrived in Chang 'an, they saw a family laughing. Friar Sand asked them what they were laughing at.

They said that God knew our family was poor, so he gave us a bag of rice. When I got to Yangguan, I saw a little girl crying again. The sand monk asked her why she was crying. The little girl said that a knife fell from the sky and killed my puppy. When I arrived in Datang East, I saw a little boy laughing. The sand monk asked him what he was laughing at. He said that my dad just farted and the opposite Datang South exploded.

9. Pig Bajie was executed for molesting Chang 'e, because the bullet was useless for a long time, the first shot didn't go out, and the second shot didn't go out. Then the third shot and the fourth shot ... Pig bajie cried and said, "Erlang God, you strangle me. This is too scary. "

10. Last night, I heard a buddy call me to teach me how to chase girls, all kinds of strange tricks, all kinds of romance. The last sentence of GC: These are all theories, and I haven't succeeded yet ~

1 1. The lecherous monk was caught by the Supreme Treasure, tied to a telephone pole and asked him, where are you from? I'll electrocute you if you don't tell me! The lecherous replied to the supreme treasure and was electrocuted. He said, I'm from TV University!

12, a woman casually put the small cushion in her underwear on the table. Her mother came in and saw it one day and asked me what it was. She said she didn't know as a woman. As a result, her mother said in a particularly contemptuous tone, you are a woman, still using this? ! She immediately felt that she had been KO.

13. One day after school, a little boy asked his mother, "Mom, where am I from?" Mother finds this question difficult to answer.

Humorous jokes to coax girls 1. Mother: Daughter, your grades have dropped a lot recently. Are you secretly in love? The daughter blushed and didn't speak. Mom: Mom is an open-minded person. Tell me, what kind of person is he? Daughter: He is the best in our school. His father is the richest man in this province, and his mother is a beautiful woman. He is handsome and gentle, and he respects his elders. Mom: Wow, why do you care about grades when you have such a boyfriend? Daughter: But he has one shortcoming! Mother: It's just a shortcoming. What is this? Daughter: Yes, he doesn't like me! Mother:,,,

Second, an aunt suddenly came to the dormitory. She glanced around, stared at me and asked, young man, are you in love? I told her I wouldn't talk. Aunt breathed a sigh of relief and I wondered, so I asked, Aunt, what do you mean? Aunt said: My daughter talked about a boyfriend and said this is a dormitory. Let me have a look. I asked: Aunt, there are 6 people in our dormitory. Why do you ask me? Aunt smiled and said, as long as it's not you, I'm relieved! Me.

Third, anonymous's colleague was promoted to expectant mother soon after she got married. Her husband told her to tell the leader quickly that she would try to reduce her work and have a good baby ... When she met the leader in the cafeteria at lunch, she couldn't hide her excitement and reported, "Boss, I'm pregnant." The leader froze for a long time and said, "Does your husband know?" My colleague absently replied, "He asked me to find you." ...

4. I just arrived in a new city, I am not familiar with anywhere. I am hungry and want to eat. I saw a woman in front of me. My name is Auntie. Later, I learned that it was a little girl. The little girl was not angry and asked me what it was. I said where the nearest restaurant was, and she took the trouble to give me a detailed introduction. After a thousand thanks, I followed the route and finally came to the door of the public toilet.

Five, there is an Inner Mongolian in the dormitory, saying that I will go back to herd sheep on holiday! Luo Luo, one or two teammates asked him, can you herd sheep? I said that Mongolians were born to herd sheep, and recognizing sheep is just like recognizing people. Each one looks different! The Mongolian guy answered the phone, yes, they are all familiar with it! Idiot asked, then why do you eat miscellaneous vegetables when you are so familiar? The Mongolian thought for a moment and answered, picking the dishes with bad relations.

6. A female friend of mine works as a cashier in a jewelry store. She told me an interesting story. A man came to buy perfume and asked her how to get a membership card. She said that after 32, it will be free. As a result, the man said, forget it I'm only 28 this year. I'll be back in a few years. . . Then he turned his head and left. God, why are there always creatures who think differently from us normal people?

Seven, my classmate's bike was stolen. I didn't respond when I saw him, but I still felt very open-minded. At night, I was bored to see the space and said, "My classmate sent a message saying: I love cars! ! Be happy under someone else's crotch in the future!

8. When I was idle at home, I called my female colleague and listened to her panting. I said, get busy first! But my mobile phone didn't hang up, and I didn't expect my female colleague to hang up either ... I put my mobile phone to my ear and there was a panting voice on the phone ... After about 20 minutes, my female colleague smiled and said, Have you heard enough? I ran for 20 minutes.