Tolerance is around, and beauty is around.

Luo Lun, born in Yongfeng (now Yongfeng County, Jiangxi Province) in Ming Dynasty, was nicknamed Yifeng. He was the first scholar in the early years of Xianzong Chenghua and was appointed as the official editor.

When Lauren was five, she followed her mother into the orchard. The fruit on the tree was ripe and fell to the ground, and everyone rushed to pick it up. Only when Lauren is different and rewarded by others will he accept it.

Lauren grew up in a poor family, lived by collecting firewood and herding sheep, and loved reading. Every time she goes out, she carries a book on her back and reads it all the way. Later, when he became a scholar, he was determined to learn from sages. Zhang Xuan, the magistrate of a county, sympathized with his situation and gave him Xiaomi, but Lauren politely refused to accept it. When my parents died, they mourned for three years, and they lost their lives, and they were short of food and clothing. After the mourning period, they only ate salt cheese.

In the second year of Tang Xianzong, Lauren went to Beijing to study. When he came to Suzhou, he dreamed that the public said to him,' Your good deeds in a building on a certain day in a certain year touched the sky, and you will be the top scholar next year ...' Lauren woke up and recalled that once upon a time, in a building, a woman came to tease and flirt, and Lauren refused the past with a solemn attitude.

Lauren walked on. On the way, she followed the servant through a door and found a gold bracelet. After walking for five days, Lauren was not careful to worry about the lack of travel expenses. The servant told Lauren that she had found the gold bracelet. Lauren was very angry when she heard this. She was going to return it to the owner. The servant said,' This round trip will delay the examination time ... Lauren said,' This gold bracelet must have been accidentally lost by someone else's handmaid or servant. If he was tortured to death by his master, whose fault is it? I would rather not take the exam than kill someone. " So the master and servant, both dusty, actually returned to their original positions. It was indeed the maid who accidentally dropped the washing water on the floor when she threw it away. The hostess suspected that the servant girl was hiding something, so she was flogged and drew blood. The maid was deeply wronged and wanted to die several times. Xiaosan's husband doubted his wife, gave her away in private, got to the bottom of it and scolded her severely. His wife was wronged and angry, and wanted to hang herself. Fortunately, Lauren came and returned the gold bracelet.

After the activity, I will try to return to Kyoto. When asked questions in the palace exam, Lauren answered the current questions bluntly. At that time, she was famous in Kyoto and was elected as the first scholar. Loren is strict with himself, and he is determined to do anything morally right. He was indifferent to fame and fortune, and was later returned to his hometown sick and no longer an official. Living in the village, concluding a township contract, the villagers abide by it and dare not destroy it, so the customs are honest. Lauren usually stays at home, wears rough clothes and eats poor food. Someone gave him clothes. He saw a poor family on the road and took off his clothes for others to wear. His wife sometimes borrows millet from her neighbors and doesn't cook until noon, and Lauren doesn't care.

Later, in Jinniu Mountain, there were few people in a secluded place, building houses, living here, reading books, and scholars from all over the world came to study with him. After his death, posthumous title became Wen Yi.

Lauren has an extraordinary virtue since he was a child. He has been doing good deeds all his life. Among them, it is difficult to collect money, but the most valuable thing is that he is worried about the owner, lest others be wronged and cause misfortune. At the critical moment, he will sacrifice his fame and fortune, and the servants will rush to return it. People really can't do it. ※. Such kindness and forgiveness are precisely the manifestation of their determination to learn from sages and self-restraint.

Lauren. Five years old. Go into the park with mom. Fruit waterfall. Many people compete for it. Give and receive alone. The family is poor. Grazing firewood. I can't stop reading. All my life. Determined to be a saint and learn. County magistrate Zhang Xuan sympathized with his poverty. Zhou ... Not affected by the loss of my parents. More than auspicious salt cheese. (The mourning period is young and auspicious. We will be happy again. ) Chenghua for two years. Trial countermeasures. Deny the disadvantages of the times. All the famous earthquakes collapsed. "First of all. Authorized revision. Rotation causes disease. No comeback. Morality is stricter than self-discipline. The significance lies in. Do it resolutely. I am rich and famous. Curie. Make an appointment with a rural area. Dare not commit crimes. Bad clothes and food. Or clothes left behind. Watch the road. Answer it. Stay for dinner in the morning. The wife borrowed money from her neighbor. It doesn't mean cooking at noon. Jinniu Mountain. People are rare. Build a room and write a book. There are many scholars from all directions. The chess piece is Wen Yi. (Lauren Biography)

An old Zen master went for a walk in a monastery one night and found a chair in the corner.

The Zen master thought that someone must have climbed over the wall to play, regardless of the temple rules.

The old Zen master moved a chair and squatted in situ to observe. After a while, a young monk jumped over the wall into the yard on the back of the old Zen master in the dark. When his foot landed, he found that it was not a chair, but his teacher. The young monk suddenly panicked.

But unexpectedly, the old Zen master did not sharply blame him, but said in a calm tone, "It's cold at night, so you should put on more clothes."

The young monk was very grateful and told other disciples when he got back.

Since then, no one has wandered over the wall at night.

In the 30th lesson of Tao Te Ching, Gu Wang said, "Jiang Hai can be the king of all the valleys, so he can take goodness as the king of all the valleys." Yes, there are hundreds of rivers and great tolerance. Tolerance is often the most touching.

Liu Bei's mind and tolerance

2003-11-2315:10/youth forum read 62 times10.

Liu Bei's mind and tolerance

A leader should be broad-minded, elegant, able to listen to different opinions, including those that are unpleasant to hear, tolerant of all kinds of people, and able to engage in "all corners of the country." In ancient languages, it can accommodate trainable.

In the chaos at the end of the Han Dynasty, most of the heroes who fought with each other were aristocratic families or powerful people with state power. Liu Bei was the most humble. However, because of his great knowledge, respect for sages and tolerance for the public, he enjoys a high reputation among scholars and is widely expected. At the beginning, his core backbones were Guan Yu and Zhang Fei, who were his "iron buddies" who lived and died together. Later, when I met Zhao Yun in Gongsun Zan, I immediately hit it off, feeling that I had met Zhao Yun for a long time and treated him like a brother. Zhao Yun also summoned up his courage and followed him all his life. Later, when he came to Xuzhou, Zhou Mu Tao Qian was able to "make Xuzhou into three places", and Xuzhou heroes such as Chen Deng, Mi Zhu, Mi Fang and Sun Gan all scrambled to join him. After several failures, he once attached himself to Yuan Shao, Cao Cao and Liu Biao. Both Yuan and Liu were greeted by Guo Xiang and received courtesy. Cao Cao went out with him in the car, sat at the same table and was treated as a guest. When I was in Jingzhou, I welcomed Zhou Nan more. Zhuge Liang has no history, but he cares about the cottage, and he just walks with his heart like a duck to water. Pang Tong, Xu Shu, Li Jue, Huang Zhong, Ma Brothers and Jiang Wan were all heroes of this period. Relying on this team, he annexed Bashu. After he led Yizhou to graze, the history books said that he was "Zhuge Liang as the arm of the thigh, Fa Zheng as the master, Guan Yu, Zhang Fei and Ma Chao as his minions, balcom, Mi Zhu and Jian Yong as his guests and friends. There are Dong He, yellow, Li Yan, etc. Awarded by Zhang, Wu Yi, etc. They were also married by Zhang, and Peng _ _ was excluded by Zhang. Liu Ba was jealous of what he had done in the past, and he was prominent and devoted. People with lofty ideals are advised. "

Chen Shou's words well outlined the backbone of the Han Shu regime, which is a team that accommodates all corners of the country. This is the basis and premise for the stable existence of the Han Shu regime for decades.

"Zhang" means Liu Zhang. , balcom is Liu Zhang's men, and Peng and others took the initiative to join Liu Bei Group, which made great contributions to the attack on Shu. Yellow and Liu Ba are his sworn enemies. Liu Zhang took Zhang Song's advice and invited Liu Bei to Shu, but Huang Quan was firmly opposed to it. He knew that Liu Bei was an extraordinary figure, and it was inappropriate to invite him as a subordinate. When guests stay, there is no room for two hosts in one country. He persuaded Liu Zhang with incisive analysis. Liu Zhang just wouldn't listen. He went to Fucheng to meet Liu Bei, and even remonstrated with him with clothes. Liu Zhang later put him in Guanghan as a local governor. When Liu Bei attacked counties, all counties were welcome to join, but Huang Quan closed them. For such a diehard loyal opponent, Liu Bei not only didn't kill him, but also reused him. Liu Ba was originally ordered by Cao Cao to appeal to three counties in the south of Jingzhou. Because Liu Bei got there first, when he couldn't finish his mission, Liu Ba fled to Jiao Jiao. Liu Bei is also "deeply disgusted" with this. Later, he came to Bashu from crossing his legs, which was also the most determined anti-unification faction in Liu Zhangzhong. After Liu Bei captured Chengdu, Liu Zhang's men joined their new masters one after another, and only Liu Ba stayed at home. At that time, the generals were angry and wanted to kill them. Liu Bei, on the other hand, gave an order: "If you harm the Ba people, you must punish the three families!" And visit in person, give reuse. Later, when Liu Bei attacked Wu, Huang Quan tried to dissuade him, but he didn't. He was appointed as the commander of Jiangbei to prevent Wei. Yiling was defeated, and Huang Quan cut off his retreat, so he had to surrender to Wei. Law enforcers suggested that the wife and children of Huang Quan should be dealt with according to law. Liu Bei said, "I am sorry for Huang Quan, not Huang Quan." Not to be investigated. After Huang Quan returned to Wei, Xelloss made Hou an official, and news came from Shu that his wife and children had been slaughtered. Yellow said no, no mourning. Soon, the exact news came, just as it said. Liu Bei can accommodate characters with a broad mind, so he can extend to Yingjie and start an imperial career.

Of course, we can accommodate and listen to different opinions. Open-minded, persuasive, can make all corners of the country, unite the majority. When Liu Bei surrounded Chengdu, Xu Jing, the governor of Shu, tried to surrender in Chengdu, but later failed because of exposure. Balkan is a man of high reputation. He can neither persuade Liu Zhang to surrender at an early date, nor die for it. His practice was not aboveboard enough, so Liu Bei despised him after Liu Zhang surrendered. In this regard, the law is quite dissatisfied. He warned Liu Bei: "There are many famous people in the world who are actually unworthy, and Xu Jing is a typical one. But his fame spread all over the world. If the master doesn't use him, and you can't announce his shortcomings door to door, people will only say that you are rude and have no talent. Please respect Xu Jing as Yan Zhaowang treated Guo Kun during the Warring States Period, so as to establish the image of respecting the virtuous. " Liu Bei immediately adopted Fazheng's opinion and treated Xu Jing well. At the time of enfeoffment, Xu's class was still above Zhuge Liang.

There is another interesting thing about the teachability of Liu Bei. On one occasion, because of the drought, Liu Bei ordered the prohibition of brewing, and offenders were punished. The collector found a brewing apparatus in a family, and the clerk proposed to be punished according to the crime of brewing. Many people feel that there seems to be insufficient evidence for such punishment, but they have not directly raised objections. Soon, Jian Yong accompanied Liu Bei on a tour and saw men and women walking with him. Jane said, "Why don't they catch adultery?" Liu Bei felt very strange and asked, "How do you know?" Jian Yong said, "They all go whoring, aren't they just like people who want to make wine?" Liu Bei laughed and forgave the man who hid the brewer.

However, Liu Bei also had a painful lesson in accommodating coachable. He trusts the backbone of his family too much. It was a mistake that he sent Guan Yu to Jingzhou. Guan Yu's personal strategy of being brave and winning. At first, he could not understand Zhuge Liang's basic national policy of "East with Sun Quan, North with Cao Cao", which laid a curse for Jingzhou in the future. Wang Fuzhi has repeatedly mentioned that Liu Bei's trust in Zhuge Liang is not as good as Guan Yu's. After Guan Yu's death, Liu Bei was even more bent on his own way. He didn't listen to the opinions of Zhuge Liang, Zhao Yun and officials in Shuzhong. He mobilized troops to attack Wu and was defeated. As a result, Shu Han was badly weakened, which made Zhuge Liang's strategic decision to restore the Central Plains in the middle of the two northern expeditions fail at once. The eternal hatred of "vicissitudes of life, eternal hatred" was formed by his failure to remonstrate.

On the eve of Lincoln's presidential campaign, he was humiliated by a senator when he spoke in the Senate. The senator said, "Mr. Lincoln, before you begin your speech, I want you to remember that you are the son of a shoemaker."

"I thank you very much for reminding me of my father. He's dead. I will certainly remember your advice. I know I can't be president and shoemaker like my father. "

The Senate fell silent.

He turned to the arrogant congressman and said, "As far as I know, my father once made shoes for your family. If your shoes don't fit, I can help you correct them. Although I am not a great shoemaker, I have learned the skills of shoemaking from my father since I was a child. " Then he said to all senators, "It's the same for anyone in the Senate. If the shoes you are wearing are made by my father and need to be repaired or improved, I will try my best to help. " But one thing is certain, his craftsmanship is unparalleled. "

At this point, all the ridicule turned into sincere applause.

Some people criticized President Lincoln's attitude towards his political opponents: "Why do you want to make friends with them?" ? You should try to attack them and destroy them. "

"We are not in the elimination of political opponents? When we become friends, political enemies do not exist. " President Lincoln said gently. This is how President Lincoln destroyed his political enemies and turned them into friends.

He was elected president of the United States twice.

Today, this passage is engraved on the wall of the memorial hall named after him:

"No malice to anyone; Be generous and kind to all people; Adhere to justice, because God makes us understand justice; Let's continue to work hard and finish what we are doing; Bandage the wounds of our country. "

Please believe in the power of tolerance!

A teacher's reply: Yes, the power of tolerance is infinite. What I want to say here is that in my class, I often say to students: "In my class, students are allowed to say the wrong things and do the wrong questions. What are you afraid to say? " I do this to encourage students to think positively, speak boldly and express their views and opinions. The effect is still ok, and the atmosphere of inquiry learning is very strong. Students learn knowledge through inquiry.

It is a blessing to get angry easily.

Han Zhongxiang once said: "No matter whether you meet a gentleman or a villain, you should treat it sincerely. When we know that the other party is a villain, we just need to make friends. "

Ordinary people must expose the situation that villains bully themselves and let everyone reprimand them except Han Zhongxian. His wisdom is enough to distinguish the treachery of a villain. But he often bears it calmly and never shows his ugly face.

(Comment) "Shangshu" said: "Tolerance is great, and virtue is broad; We must be able to bear the burden of humiliation and things can be done well! " (The original text is: "Tolerance is great, and virtue is great; Be patient, things are in the economy. " If you encounter a little disappointment, you will immediately fly into a rage; When you encounter something unsatisfactory, you immediately feel angry and full of emotions, which shows that you have no self-restraint power and are also a shallow person. Therefore, it is said: "It is infinite to find that others are treacherous but don't say it!" (Ancient Moral Education Course, page 127)

The word "ability" is the door to all miracles.

Fu Bi of the Song Dynasty taught his children: "forbearance is the door to all miracles. If you add tolerance on the basis of honesty and thrift, what else can you do badly? "

Fu Bi was scolded when he was young. The man said, "I'm scolding you!" " "

Fu Bi replied, "I'm afraid I'll scold others!"

The man said, "So! I will call your name! "

Fu Bi replied: "Is there no one with the same name in the world?"

The scolding person felt ashamed.

(Comment) Yan Guangzhong said: "The word forbearance is the hardest! When you can tolerate it, your character and measurement must be great. When it can't stand it, it is full of pride and strength. Once upon a time, someone wrote a poem:' A teenager's crotch is safe, but his father's side is uneven. If life is not at the end of the year, why should Huaiyin reduce her work?' This sentence is so reasonable. Han Xin was king because he endured the humiliation of his legs, and later he was killed because he humiliated Jiang Kui. Drink enough, and naturally you can't increase it. "("inductive set "Volume II, page 42)

There is no dispute about being wronged, and rice is not subject to it.

In the Han Dynasty, there was a man named Zhong Ming, who left animal husbandry and worked hard. He comes from that place.

When he was young, he lived in Yongxing (now south of Sushan County, Zhejiang Province) and personally cultivated more than 20 acres of land. When the rice in the field was ripe, someone came to claim it, but Zhong didn't argue with them and gave it to each other completely.

When the county magistrate knew about it, he arrested the man who dared to recognize rice and wanted to punish him with national laws. Zhong tried his best to save him so that his sins could be forgiven.

After the man was exonerated, he led his wife to beat the rice stolen at first into more than 30 meters, and then returned the rice to Zhong.

Li Zhongmu refused to close the door, so the man had to put the rice on the side of the road and no one went to get it. Because of this, Zhong became famous, was hired as a satrap, and was named "Hou".

(Comment) Xu Zhijing said: "The ignorance of wood is admirable. However, if the county magistrate does not arrest and punish these lawless people, those stubborn people may not be able to change their minds immediately. Therefore, the ancients said,' Only by bringing cases to justice and establishing the rule of law can people be grateful. If the national law is not established, how can rogues be grateful if they are complacent about plunder?' "(The Complete Works of Gu Ba De, p. 466)

Beauty is in sight, can you not resist it?

Yu Gan has a scholar named Chen, who is very proficient in medical skills.

He once cured a poor dying patient for free, asking for nothing in return.

One evening, a scholar surnamed Chen passed by the patient's house and the patient's family asked him to stay.

The patient's sister-in-law said to her sister-in-law, "I hope you can spend the night with him and repay his kindness!" " "

The patient's wife nodded in agreement.

That night, she said to the scholar named Chen, "You saved my husband, and my sister-in-law asked me to accompany you!" " "

The scholar surnamed Chen was moved to see her young and beautiful. But restrain yourself and say, "No!"

The young woman forced him, and he even said, "No! No! " And I picked up a pen and wrote the word "no" on the table. At last, I could hardly hold it. He shouted again: "No, these two words are the hardest!"

He didn't leave until dawn.

Later, when the son of a scholar surnamed Chen took the exam and the marking officer discarded his article, he suddenly seemed to hear the word "no".

The marking officer read it again and then discarded it. I heard again: "No! No! "

So the marking officer read it again and decided not to accept it. Suddenly, he kept hearing loud voices: "The word' no' is the hardest!" So he was admitted to the son of a scholar named Chen.

After the list was published, the real estate manager asked the son of the scholar named Chen. The son didn't know the reason and went back to tell his father. Only then did he recall that this was the result of not committing adultery.

(Comment) Yao Ruohou said: "No" is the worst word. It's really difficult for a passenger to lie between the curtains. The moonlight reflects a kind of beauty. The night is long and the candle is short, and it is cold and warm. There is no other way but patience, perseverance and perseverance.

Hunger does not seek tiger food, thirst does not drink, and the "no" originally said by scholar Chen is patience. The two armies (justice and human desire) fought and fought for the knife with both hands, and the blood did not stop. When the defeated army takes the road, deus ex will not return to the arrow. The scholar surnamed Chen even said, "No! No! " It belongs to perseverance. Snakes and scorpions sting people, strong men break their wrists, poison arrows shoot at their bodies, and heroes scratch their bones. Scholar Chen shouted, "No!" "Is to be ruthless.

The Buddhist scriptures say, "Treat an old woman like a mother, an old woman like a sister, a young woman like a sister, and a young girl like a son." "If you commit adultery with someone else's wife, you will get the result of your death. Rape an unmarried woman will get the result of her child's lewdness. " Considering this, can we not be patient or endure to the end? (Lessons from Ancient Moral Education, p. 139)

Refuse temptation and have a bright future.

Liu Rong of Taicang is handsome and graceful.

Ming Yingzong has been in good weather for three years, so he went to Nanjing to catch the exam. There is a woman who is good at playing flute in the museum, and she comes to Lu Rong's dormitory at night.

Lu Rong made an excuse and said, "I'm not ready yet. Come back another day!" " "

After the woman left, Liu Rong wrote a poem:

The wind is clear and the moon is white, the window is empty,

A woman came to peek and read,

If you want others to understand what you mean,

Ten years ago, it was as thin as paper

At dawn the next day, he made an excuse to go somewhere else.

That autumn, he became famous. His father dreamed in advance that the chief sent a flag plaque that read "The moon is white and the wind is clear", so he wrote to Liu Rong, and Liu Rong was startled.

He was later admitted to Jinshi and became an official in politics.

Scholar Chen won by shouting "No" with courage, and Liu Rong won by pretending to be ill. Liu Rong certainly saves more effort than a scholar named Chen. However, at this time, we must not be soft. Most of us don't have enough concentration, so we must never learn from Liu Xiahui! (Lessons from Ancient Moral Education, p. 140)

Arrogant and embarrassed.

During the Jiajing period of Ming Dynasty, there was a scholar in guangzhou fu named Lun Xuwen. He gave birth to three sons, all of whom gained fame. The boss got the second place, and even the youngest third young master got the provincial examination and became a juren.

One day, the third young master of the Lun family passed Yangtiling (in Haifeng County) in a sedan chair and walked up the mountain. It happened that when the road was narrow and difficult to walk, a sedan chair came in front.

The third young master of Lunjia thought to himself, "My father is the top scholar, my brother is the second child, and I am a newcomer. Few people in Lingnan area are more distinguished than me! " So he ordered the servant to send a message loudly: "Come on, please get off the sedan chair and make way!" " "

Unexpectedly, the servant in front of the sedan chair also said loudly, "Please get off the sedan chair and make way!" " "Two sedan chairs meet, to outdo each other.

Because of his youthful spirit, the third young master of the Lun family looked at an old woman sitting in a sedan chair opposite him and said angrily, "What's the name of the new couple? If you want the third young master to make way, please report! "

Only the woman replied, "since you have the title of a big official, please report it first!" " "

The third young master of the Lun family said, "Dad No.1 and Brother No.2, you are newcomers. Do you want to make way? "

The woman smiled and said, "What's the point of being a small champion and coming second?" ? Listen: I'm the aunt of the emperor, the daughter of lord protector, the wife of the prime minister, and my youngest son has made border control system. Who will make way now? "

The third young master of Lun's family turned pale. Knowing that the other person was Mrs. Yang, she got off the sedan chair and knelt down to make amends. He said, "You are ignorant of Mount Tai and have offended the old lady. Please forgive me! "

Mrs. Yang replied, "He who doesn't know is innocent. But young people should be modest in the future, so as not to offend others! "

She persuaded the third young master of the Lun family to say a few words and left.

At this time, Mrs. Yang realized something in her heart and said to her servant, "I followed my father when I was young and my husband when I grew up. Now that I am old, I am taking my son to Lingnan to be an official. I have walked this difficult and steep sheep's hoof ridge three times. What a bitter fate! "

Later, people used "please don't argue with Mrs. Yang" to ridicule people's arrogance, and "Mrs. Yang is still complaining after crossing Yangtiling" to describe people's dissatisfaction.

Because Mrs. Yang, as the first lady, has reached the peak of wealth and splendor, sitting in a sedan chair, although she passed through the Mausoleum of Yang for three times, how can she suffer? If she was still complaining in the sedan chair, wouldn't the servant of the sedan chair immediately jump off the cliff and commit suicide? Therefore, villagers often cite these two things to warn proud and dissatisfied people. (The Theory and Facts of Karma, p. 73)

Modest and gentle, a late bloomer

Once upon a time, there was a modest man named Wang Mingchang. He named his brother's two sons "Mo" and "Shen" and his own sons "Hun" and "Shen", and warned them: "I named you these four names because you should not violate the virtue of being modest as the name suggests. Everything that grows rapidly will soon perish. Those who are late bloomers often enjoy themselves for a whole year. Herbs that bloom in the morning will wither at night. Evergreen pine and cypress will not decline in cold winter. Therefore, a gentleman should not get ahead and be too sharp-edged. If you can be right with grievances, gain with humility, and be weak and strong, you will rarely fail. " (translated from "yongxing distinguishes ghosts and seeks classes" and "karma theory and facts" on page 30)

Bear the color first, then bear it.

When Xia Zhongjing was young, he flew into a rage whenever someone offended him. At first, he just reluctantly endured it on his face or expression, and then gradually endured it in his heart. Over time, he completely dissolved his temper without knowing it.

So we know that tolerance also comes from learning. (Lessons from Ancient Moral Education, p. 128)

Calm one's anger, smile

Ms. Liu Xiu, who was once elected as Miss China, put forward six ways to calm her anger at a special lecture organized by Taichung Young Women's Association.

Look in the mirror-anger is a woman's ugliest moment. When you feel like you're going to fly into a rage, you can make up in front of the mirror, draw your face into a strange shape, then erase it after painting, and even draw three faces to ensure that you can calm down.

Interest concentration method-find what you are most interested in, such as listening to music, stories, movies or shopping.

Food diversion method-fill your stomach, your mind will be dull, and it is not easy to arouse new sorrow and old hatred.

Take a deep breath-when you are about to quarrel, you can take three deep breaths slowly and forcefully to help calm down.

Indirect cooling method-write all the hatred and abuse to each other on paper, don't send it out, read it in a couple of days, and then tear up the paper when you feel less angry.

Broaden your horizons-go for an outing in the suburbs and see the green mountains and green waters.

Find a friend to exhale-find one or two intimate friends or trustworthy friends who can't tell right from wrong and pour out their grievances. ~ FK； (Holy Day Magazine No.24, page 4 1)

In the belly of the prime minister, you can punt.

When Li Wenjing (formerly known as Li Ling) was prime minister, there was a crazy scholar who knocked on a horse and sent a letter criticizing Li Wenjing's shortcomings.

Li Wenjing humbly thanked him: "I will read it in detail when I get home!"

The scholar was furious and immediately reprimanded Li Lijing and said, "You are in a big position and can't help the world, but you don't take the blame and resign, making way for others, which hinders the career of talents. Can you not be ashamed? "

Li Wenjing immediately respectfully repeatedly said: "I have asked for dismissal many times, but the emperor did not allow it, so I dare not leave!" "

When Li Wenjing talked with the scholar, he never intended to lose his temper or disobey. (Ancient Moral Education Course, page 127)

Endure disobedience, a panacea.

Xue once said: "Humiliation is the most unbearable word. Since ancient times, many heroes have lost here! "

Wang Chang warned his son, "When others attack us, we should retreat and reflect on ourselves. If we have our own behavior that can be attacked, then what others say is appropriate. If we don't have what he said, then he is talking nonsense. If the other party criticizes properly, it won't hurt him, and if the other party talks nonsense, it won't hurt ourselves. Why revenge? " Therefore, the key to humiliation lies in self-reflection.

Lu said: "When the other party attacks us unreasonably, if he is more talented than us, we should accept it until he realizes. If the other person is similar to himself and has a serious attack, we will reject it through reason and reflection. For less serious attacks, we will forgive him with feelings. If the other party is not as good as us, we will forgive him for his inexperience. " The essence of this humiliation lies in understanding others (judging people).

Once upon a time, the sage said, "When others don't obey us, we can achieve prosperity and openness by quietly reflecting for a moment." Therefore, Shaoling's poem says, "It is gratifying to endure things." This is the way to endure adversity.

Zheng Meng said, "Don't be unreasonable. It's like walking on the grass and getting stabbed through your clothes. We have to slow down and slowly untie the thorns. " "Journey to the Clouds" records: "In case of rebellion, first think about why I confronted it, and then think about how I should deal with it." Calm down and don't be angry, then you can eliminate disasters and stay away from fierce disasters. "This is the key to deal with the rebellion.

If you can master the above aphorisms, you will have no difficulty in communicating with people. (Lessons from Ancient Moral Education, p. 128)

Be frank and can't bear to blame.

Lawson,No. Shuangji, Jishui people.

He lost a sweater in the exam. The students in the dormitory feel uneasy. When they found the thief, they invited Luo Xun to visit him together.

As soon as they sat down, they went through each other's bags and showed Luo Xun their sweaters.

Luo Xun walked quickly to the door and told him gently, "Sometimes things are similar. My roommates are all drunk and talking nonsense. Please forgive me! " "

Luo Xun returned to the dormitory and told other roommates, "I lost a worthless sweater, and there is nothing to lose." Let the other side get a bad name, how to learn? "

My roommate thanked Luo Xun for his poor self-cultivation.

Lawson won the first prize that year, and later his son Hong Xian also won the first prize. (Lessons from Ancient Moral Education, p. 133)

Return this heavy gift calmly and tactfully.

When Zheng Xiao was selected, a petty officer in the village gave him gold jewelry. The other party put the gold jewelry under a bamboo vessel and covered it with tea.

Zheng Xiao thought there was only tea in the bamboo ware, so he accepted it. After Mrs. Zheng got the gift, she found the gold jewelry with a wave of her hand. She knocked on the stick and told Mr. Zheng Xiao.

Zheng Xiao quietly tidied up the tea, covered it on the bamboo ware, and then came out to summon the sergeant. He said, "At first, I thought I had run out of tea at home, so I accepted your gift. I just went to the kitchen to ask my wife, only to know that there are still many teas at home. I am very grateful for your kindness! "

Say that finish, Zheng Xiao returned the bamboo to the sergeant and asked him to take it back.

(Comment) Innocent people can easily become harsh, while incorruptible people like to be famous. Zheng Xiao not only does not have these two shortcomings, but also can return the gift calmly, calmly, modestly and tactfully. Instead, I think Yang Zhen's four senses are too straightforward and humorous.