Complete works of hilarious humor jokes

1. "Use 1 to describe your cup." "With dad!"

2. When you meet someone you like, you must confess. It doesn't matter if he is ugly, in case he is blind!

I want to travel with my girlfriend on May Day this year. Please recommend a girlfriend.

Someone asked me how to live alone in this materialistic society, and I replied: not because of poverty!

I don't have many wishes in my life. I want to be a fallen rich woman.

6. I went to the bank to get a card for the first time in my life, and the counter gave me a list. The type of certificate I fill in is: rectangle.

7. If you add a horizontal slot to a sentence, it will appear sincere. For example, lying in the trough to lose weight, you will think that this is a heartfelt idea.

8. I don't know how people who send a circle of friends every six months do it. I feel that I don't send it every day, and my talents have nowhere to display!

9. "I support you." This is what my father said, but this is the first half of the sentence, and the second half is "draw a hammer!" "

10. I warn you, don't giggle at me when I'm angry. You laugh, and I laugh with you, which makes me lose face.

1 1. Work every year, worry every year, work overtime every day like a monkey, work overtime without pay, and get scolded for no reason every day.

12. the advantage of flat chest is that you can lift your clothes and say to him, hey, brother, one of us!

13. I have been unable to find a girlfriend. Today, I finally got up the courage to have a holiday and went to the plastic surgery hospital. Just arrived at the front desk, I saw the receptionist immediately running over and shouting: "Director, big business is coming!" " "

14. In the past, as long as the feelings were true, age was not a problem. Now as long as the feelings are true, gender is not a problem.

15. Some people like to take photos for half an hour for a little incident in their circle of friends. Most importantly, they even think they look like this!

16. "Wife, if a man is ugly but rich, do you want it?" "Why not? You are so ugly and have no money, I want everything. "

17. I advise you all to play less with your mobile phones and computers. I feel that my eyesight is getting worse and worse recently, and I can't see the money when I open my wallet.

18. In order to wear a skirt safely, I specially took a pair of safety pants online. When the goods arrived, my colleague elder sister asked me: What did you buy? I said: safety pants. My colleague's elder sister asked me: Can I use this for contraception?

19. People nowadays will not come back after chatting for a day. Is the signal in the cemetery not good?

20. Girlfriends should look for those who don't wear makeup, occasionally paint, are excited and often wear makeup. When they remove makeup, they are prone to sudden death on the spot.

2 1. You can't drink tap water directly, nor can you eat fruit directly, but why can you eat it after washing it with tap water?

22. I'm going to meet each other's parents tomorrow. I'm so nervous. After all, I hit his child first.

23. The wife is always right, and this sentence is always right. But what my wife didn't expect was that she might not be a wife all the time.

24. My mother likes playing mahjong, but then I was born. My mother resolutely gave up mahjong for me and my family because she thought it was more interesting to hit me.