Qq Personality Signature Humor Humor

Qq personalized signature is very humorous.

1, the purpose of falling in love and not getting married is to raise a wife for others.

2. If you are well, it will be sunny. Look at the weather here today, you should be dead!

3. Some people say that men who are bad for women will make sanitary napkins in their next life.

If the teacher hadn't said you couldn't throw garbage, I would have thrown you out.

The kindergarten teacher hit a boy because the boy ate the girl's boobs.

6. A young man went to lose weight. The doctor said that he could only eat two pieces of bread every meal. The young man actually said, before or after meals?

7. How many couples have been destroyed and how many people have been seen through the roaming chat record function of the smart phone.

8, don't always watch AV, and you don't look at what is behind the letters A and V on the keyboard!

9. When sitting in the classroom bored, I fantasize about the bloody scene where the ceiling fan rotates every time.

10. There was an activity in a shopping mall yesterday. I heard there was a song by BiBi Zhou, so I went there. I didn't know there was a man named Zhou Bi until I got there.

1 1. Our advantage is that we can correct our mistakes, but our disadvantage is that we don't know our own mistakes.

12, not everyone can read, and those who can read are not good children.

13, did you hear that? You treat me like a game, I'll kill you.

14 In fact, the person who cares about you the most is always the one who loves to beat you the most.

15, there is a hole in your head, there is water in the hole, there are fish in the water, and the fish are still spitting bubbles.

16, Grandpa said: Jay Chou must be a good monk when he becomes a monk, because his scriptures are so beautiful.

17, women who can only cry are rubbish, and women who can't cry are monsters.

18, I have a dream, I am as thin as a shadow. Do all chubby girls have this ideal?

19, the only difference between Superman and me is that I wear underwear underneath.

Listen, I allow you to like me. We have no choice but to grow old together.

There are so many brain-dead people in the world, but you have become one of the best.

22. What you say when you are in love is called love talk. After breaking up, treat it as a joke.

23. I drown my sorrows in wine, but this damn pain taught me to swim.

24, she is mine, don't touch it! If it is damaged, you can't pay. If you feel cute, forward it!

25. It's mine. Do not move. If it's not mine, help me put it there.

26, girl, find a husband named Xia in the future, and the child's name is Shaq. The child should not be asked by the teacher.

27. There is no such thing as the first kiss. With the constant renewal of epithelial cells, every day is the first kiss.

If the teacher hadn't said you couldn't litter, I would have thrown you out.

29, the monster is a good boy, he will say to Altman; Don't be sad, just hit me.

30. When your indifference exceeds the load that my heart can bear, then I will give my heart to you and leave.

3 1, don't you dare curse me for eating instant noodles without seasoning, I curse you for eating instant noodles with seasoning.

32. Devil training, girls look at boys and boys look at animals.

33. A light question: Why do birds like to sit in rows on the wires? The best explanation is that you can chat online.

34. I hate people who don't reply to my text messages for a long time. Don't look, I'm talking about you.

35, so many people in the street are so dangerous to wear, but so safe!

I vaguely remember the question that the teacher said, but I clearly remember that I didn't listen.

I don't expect you to comfort me. As long as you don't sprinkle salt on the wound, I'll be grateful.

38. I had dinner today. There is a bug in the bowl. I wanted to call my boss, but I was curious and wanted to try it. I didn't expect it to taste good.

39. Everyone who loves to sleep late has a lover who is hard to give up. His name is bed.

40. Sleeping for seven hours at school is not enough, but sleeping for five hours during holidays is twice as energetic.

4 1, I write your name on the sole and stomp a few feet every day when I have time.

42. Tomb-Sweeping Day, it is not easy for students to have a holiday these days. Even vacations should be moved by their ancestors.

Dear child, I wish you a lonely dog in the future.

44. If no teacher can teach all subjects, why should a student learn all subjects?

45, explanation is cover-up, cover-up is dishonest, dishonest is not clean up!

46. How many centuries will computers be invented without radiation?

If I die, don't forget to install an air conditioner in my coffin.

48. When my hair grows to my waist, I'll cut it and sell it, and then we'll get the license, okay?

49. It's best not to use your own photo for your avatar, which is unlucky to go offline.

50. What am I to you? You are a lot of fish, how can you be a snack, because you are really redundant.

Qq Personality Signature Humor

1, contraceptive effect: unsuccessful, adult. Actually, I am not fat, but I am too lazy to be thin.

It's time to buy a plane ticket to heaven and have a good talk with Yue Lao.

Don't smile at your sister, she will fall off when she smiles.

These days, women are more and more masculine, men are more and more sissy, children are more and more mature, and adults are beginning to pretend to be pure.

6. Be your enemy's wife in your next life and spend all his money to get back at him.

7. I suddenly miss my date, and I don't know if he has eaten, is he busy, how old he is, and what his name is.

8. I want stable grades, I can resist the cruelty of exams, and I can have a home among piles of schoolmasters.

I won't cry for you. My mascara is too expensive.

10, don't tear your smile, if you tear it, there will be no dimples.

1 1. It's hard to love someone, but it's easy to give up someone.

12, my heart is broken and it looks like dumpling stuffing.

Don't use honey traps on me, or I'll play along.

14, I would have thrown you out if the teacher hadn't said you couldn't throw garbage.

15, give me an atomic bomb, and I will send a mushroom cloud to Japan.

16, after a long time, you may have no feelings, but you will definitely have children.

17, some classes are like Fu Nan battery, one class is better than one monitor.

18, you have the nerve to lie to me. I have the courage to believe it.

19, grades, you bitch, always alienating me from my parents.

Money is nothing in my hands, just like garbage, but I bought the humblest love with it.

You are my favorite, but I never drink tea.

22, marry a chicken with a chicken; Marry a dog and follow the dog; Marry a monkey and run all over the mountain; Marry me and treat you to roast goose!

23. A man who is more diligent in changing women than changing sanitary napkins will have your dysmenorrhea sooner or later.

24, love does not hurt people, people hurt themselves. Love doesn't do evil, but people do evil. If you don't play tricks on people, your brain is funny

25. The only thing I can afford now is chopsticks.

I don't want to be against you. I want to attend later.

27. Fahai should not use this tower to contain Mrs White Snake, but he should contain Gong Linna.

28. Being speechless means that the judge asks: Why do you want to print counterfeit money? The criminal said: I can't print real money.

29. Don't always talk about my face. Beauty is not outstanding, ugliness is not novel.

30, men, the upper body is self-cultivation, the lower body is the essence; Women, the upper body is the bait, and the lower body is the trap.

3 1. If God gives me another chance to be born again, I must choose the Tang Dynasty, so I don't have to learn English or lose weight.

32. A woman who can only cry is a waste, and a woman who can't cry is a monster.

After my death, please install a wireless router on my grave. Thank you.

34. This person is unlucky. Sneezing can scare him, and taking off his sweater can electrocute him.

35. Your face reminds me of a word, arbitrary.

36. The more people like you, the more naive they are to you.

37. The National Day passed so fast, just like a tornado, it was too late to do my homework.

38. It is your responsibility to educate us, and it is our right not to be educated!

39. You asked me how much I love you. Money can represent my heart.

Life is like a pressure cooker. I know myself well when I'm under too much pressure.

4 1, the human stomach is called stomach, and my stomach is called stomach plus.

42. We agreed not to part, but to stay together all the time.

43. I love that boy so much. He has strong shoulders and only allows me to rely on them.

44. I have fixed the wedding date, and now I just need to fix the groom.

45. My boyfriend just needs to treat me as the only one.

46. The best wishes are not written on greeting cards, but in the remarks column of transfer.

47. Superman always flies in briefs because triangles are very stable.

48. Tell me ten sentences without dirty words, which only shows that you are not familiar with me.

49. Women who are obsessed with their old feelings are the most guilty, and men who are obsessed with their old feelings are the most disgusting.

50. There is no cold person in the world, but it is not you who is warm.

5 1, the most painful thing in the world, a good spring dream was awakened by urine.

52. A day is actually very short. As soon as the computer is turned on and off, it will pass.

53. The monthly exam is not to show off to teachers in all subjects. They really think they teach well.

54. Were you vomited three times after you were born, but only caught twice?

If the teacher didn't say don't litter, I would throw you out.

56. My predecessor got married again today. I wish him today every year and today every year.

57. If your high school classmate was sitting in a KTV and you happened to meet her, would you? I'll point her out.

58. I curse you for buying instant noodles all your life without a seasoning bag.

59. Some girls want to commit crimes behind their backs; Looking at the side, I want to shrink back; Look ahead and want to defend yourself.

60. Have fun when you should play, and sleep well when you should study. Are you the same?

6 1, acne is nothing, that's your lovely bubble.

If you choose to run counter to me, please don't look back.

Underwear is like knowledge, invisible, but important.

64.who do you think you are? You are the spilled water. I don't even want a basin.

65. Happiness is to look at your watch when you wake up every morning, but you can sleep for another half an hour.

Everything is not normal this year, except football in China.

67. A faint glance is your earnest commitment, and a quiet moment is my life. I don't want to leave you.

68. Remember the black rice brother who refused to go out on a mission by Daming Lake?

69. The so-called successful woman is: B is awesome during the day and B is awesome at night.

70. If you value his money, it will become yours in due course. Strike while the iron is hot, and love to ask for money!

7 1, everyone says I'm ugly, but I'm just plain and beautiful.

On the first day of school, there will always be a group of people dressed as blind date.

73. I hope someone will hold my hand, whether it is dull or vigorous, and we will walk together.

74. I didn't buy jasmine honey tea, so I didn't have a good chance.

75. Come here. There are three words hidden in my heart for a long time. Can you get out!

76. Choose the person who can make you happy for the rest of your life, not the one you have to try to please.

Secret love is a courtesy, narcissism is a pride, love is a style and love is a taste.

It doesn't matter if your head is empty. The key is not to get into the water.

79. After class, the teacher said, What else do you not understand? I stretched myself and said, what class does the teacher have?

80. Actually, I am a genius, but unfortunately I am jealous of talents!

8 1, I don't like sleeping with only one woman many times, but I like sleeping with many women only once.

82. Weigh yourself every time. When you are light, say to yourself: thin. When you are heavy, say to yourself: your chest is big.

83. It is said that strong melons are not sweet, and my brother likes to eat bitter gourd.

84. A good friend is probably that you are crazy. I don't want to go crazy with you, but I will give you medicine regularly.

85. I saw a beautiful woman in the street today. A closer look turned out to be a mirror.

86. Those fireworks-like encounters were only temporary prosperity. Perhaps, some things have been doomed.

87. Flowers bloom not for anyone, but also for themselves. The world does not exist for anyone, nor does it exist for itself.

88. I changed her from a girl to a woman; She turned me from a boy into a poor man.

89. I struggled with fat and almost didn't sacrifice.

90. What is a class teacher? It is a person who has destroyed your friendship, your love and your affection.

9 1, I remember that a few years ago, singles were said to be nobles, but in recent years, they have become dogs.

92. How many generations does it take to climb from this world to that one?

93. Earning money is an ability, and spending money is a technology. My ability is limited, but my skill is high.

94. I like you for a long time, and I have been waiting for you for a long time. Now, I want to leave, even longer than a long time.

95. If you feel sick and retching when brushing your teeth, don't brush your teeth in front of the mirror.

96. I hope to talk about a seven-year love, hold hands for 50 years, and proudly tell our love to future generations.

97. I wonder if you would like to be my favorite person.

98, Lao tze came to this world, it is impossible to go back alive.

99. My dream: I have something to do as a secretary and nothing to do as a secretary. The reality is that the secretary can't do it, and the secretary can't do anything.

100, headmaster, this air conditioner, if you are safe, it will be sunny; If it is not safe, be careful when you go out at night!

Qq Humorous Personality Signature

First, it is said that there is a friend whose husband's surname is Zhou and her surname is Xia. Husband and wife are discussing the name of the future baby. The wife first thought of a name called "Monday". After listening, my husband said that the name is good and continuous, and he can give birth to seven children in one breath, from "Monday" to "Monday". Then the wife asked what to do if she gave birth to the eighth child. My husband said that the eighth one is called "Summer Monday" (next Monday).

Second, some people envy other people's love, just as they envy other people's clothes, and they can't wait to buy an identical one. Please don't think so. You don't know what that seemingly beautiful dress tastes like. Maybe she choked, maybe she was hungry for five years before she put on that dress, or maybe the fabric made her itchy and rash all over. You're not the one wearing it. You don't know.

A newly divorced man told his friend the reason why he didn't remarry: "I have a dog, a cat and a myna now, which is enough." "But how can you replace your wife?" The friend asked. The man replied, "Absolutely! My dog growls all day, myna curses all day, and my cat can stay at home all night! "

Four or three people brag about whose wife is the thinnest. A Dai: "My wife's scarf can be worn as clothes." Agua refused to accept: "My wife can fall into the sewer if she takes a shower carelessly." Hua said calmly, "My wife swallowed an almond and everyone thought she was pregnant."

5. Appreciation of the most incisive myth of this year: mistress goes back to her family ... no public office! A group of eunuchs had a meeting, but no chickens talked about it; A woman divorced many times and abandoned it before; Men streaking … fooling around; Women streaking ... groundless; Children streaking ... There's plenty of time; The old man streaked … immortal; Family planning in China (a health care product); The difference between men and women is less than that of the upper class and more than that of the lower class.

6. On the day of my wedding reception, I will make a table for my husband's ex-girlfriend and then propose a toast one by one. Thank you for spending the most beautiful years with his most empty childhood. Now that he has grown up, he finally knows the difference between good and bad and what kind of woman he needs.

Seven, the official said: I am honest; The star said: I am innocent; Urban management said: I am kind; The rich man said: I pay taxes; Xiaosan said: I am self-reliant; The director said: I'm serious; The teacher said: I am noble; The policeman said: I am fair; Mobile said: I am honest; The bank said: I am disciplined; PetroChina said: I lost money; The hospital said: I treat diseases; The court said: I am fair; The people said: it's all nonsense.

I went home yesterday, a girl from Lu Yu. Seeing that boy on the road, I chased him and shouted, "Please marry me!" " I watched, and suddenly a young woman rushed out and took the girl away, saying, "Even if you get married, you still have to go to school."

9. Once I went to the dormitory roommate to take a shower, I changed the girlfriend number stored in his mobile phone to mine, and I texted him in bed at night, "Husband, I'm pregnant." I saw that guy suddenly turn over and get out of bed. Badabada smoked a box of cigarettes and asked the dormitory people to borrow money …

10. A man goes to work the next day after marriage and is unhappy at work. A friend asked him why, and the man said, I used to go whoring. After I finished with my daughter-in-law last night, I threw it to her 100. The friend is relieved: it's nothing if you give her money! The man is annoyed: the problem is that she found me 20-conveniently.

Eleven, some people sell wisdom, some people sell time, some people sell labor, some people sell relationships, some people sell the body, some people sell morality. If you want to make a little money, you must sell some of your own things, so "making more money" and "live high" are diametrically opposed. Being partial to either extreme will make your life very troublesome. The most comfortable life is to find balance.

I'm going to cry. I'm going to make trouble. I stayed up all night and hanged myself with a bottle of sleeping pills and a small rope. No matter how ugly, you have to fall in love. When the world is full of love.

Thirteen, my wife cooks badly, but she likes it very much. One day I couldn't stand it anymore and asked, "Why do you like cooking so much?" The wife said, "People say that if you want to get a person, you have to get that person's stomach." I said, "Then why do you cook so badly?" Hearing this, my wife angrily struck the table: "I'd rather destroy what I can't get!" " "

Fourteen, junior high school English is not good, the teacher changed my female deskmate with good English. One day in self-study class, I had a little impression on the word "husband", but it was not exact. I used this word to ask my deskmate, "Wife?" "No, honey." I always thought it was my wife, so I hooked up with her: "wife!" " She is not to be outdone: "Husband!" "wife!" "Husband! "The louder the voice. After shouting for 2 minutes, I found the classroom suddenly quiet …

Fifteen, these days, it's all sex! Men are worried about private houses, women are worried about breasts, and they are always worried. College students are worried about opening a house, renting a house to work, being hospitalized in a ward, giving birth in a delivery room, getting married in a new house, housing for ordinary people, box office for producers, second rooms for rich people and bad rooms.

At the age of sixteen, Dan accompanied his mother to go fishing by the lake. After returning home, Dandan quickly wrote a diary: "Today, my mother and I went fishing by the lake. We caught a big fish weighing 2 pounds. We are so happy. " The mother thought her daughter's writing was too simple and said angrily, "Write more!" " "Dandan bowed his head and thought about it, and changed his diary to:" Today, my mother and I went fishing by the lake, and we caught a big fish weighing 5 pounds. "

Seventeen, sometimes I really want to go to the fucking house and car, to the fucking three insurances and one gold, to the fucking marriage and children, to the fucking work and entertainment, and to the fucking residence permit. Love where you are, love who you are, go out, walk a long way, meet many people and pay a lot of love. Finally Gabrielle died in a foreign land, and the tombstone read: This guy went to another world to continue to be awesome …

Dan accompanied his mother to go fishing by the lake. After returning home, Dandan quickly wrote a diary: "Today, my mother and I went fishing by the lake. We caught a big fish weighing 2 pounds. We are so happy. " The mother thought her daughter's writing was too simple and said angrily, "Write more!" " "Dandan bowed his head and thought about it, and changed his diary to:" Today, my mother and I went fishing by the lake, and we caught a big fish weighing 5 pounds. "

19. Happiness is more like a cramp. Speaking of which, it's fascinating. They said it and left. So simply, they don't drag their feet at all, and they can't even shed tears; Pain is more like a dog skin plaster, so close to it, covered with clothes, maybe others can't see it, but now it is close to it all the time, and you can feel it every second. It is not that happiness is too short, but that we are too sensitive to pain.

After graduation, some people are disappointed, some people are lovelorn and some people are missing. Some people get rich, some get fat, and some send invitations. These things will happen one after another, and the tacit life track will come to an end and start a completely different life. I don't want to get together another day, but I hope we don't forget our original faces. After all, we both broke into each other's lives.

I stayed in a hotel yesterday. A bottle of Nongfu Spring mineral water spent in the hotel room 18 yuan. I bought two bottles outside and spent four yuan to change two bottles of civets for the prince in the hotel. I didn't get caught on patrol. This is called economic mind, and the difference of 9 times is instantly available. I'm drinking a bottle of Nongfu Spring from 18 yuan, which is awesome!

Speaking of your appearance, I don't want to discourage you. Go to the zoo to see if there is a job suitable for you. If you run around the street like this, it's easy for the police to shoot you. I think a person's appearance should have two extremes, one is extremely beautiful, and the other is like you! 3. The dragon is both euphemistic and thrilling. 4. It's good to know you. You don't have to go to the zoo!

I am who I am. If I can't stand it, don't enter my world. I am not gentle, I have a bad temper, I am easily angry, I am easily jealous, I am easily heartbroken, I am easily paranoid, I am willful, I don't want to talk when I am angry, I will always giggle when I am happy, I will hide my grievances in my heart, I care and I want to be known by you, I like listening to sad songs when I am sad, and I like to share them with people I care about when I am happy.

Twenty-four, junior high school English is not good, the teacher changed my female deskmate with good English. One day in self-study class, I had a little impression on the word "husband", but it was not exact. I used this word to ask my deskmate, "Wife?" "No, honey." I always thought it was my wife, so I hooked up with her: "wife!" " She is not to be outdone: "Husband!" "wife!" "Husband! "The louder the voice. After shouting for 2 minutes, I found the classroom suddenly quiet …

Twenty-five, "In the dead of night, the curtains grumble:" I bask in the sun every day, quilt brother, you are so happy, and I sleep with my hostess every day. " "Quilt:" "Happiness? Do you know how long it takes to fart? ”""

Twenty-six, just called me 10086 to understand the business, so I got bored and took it. Q: Sir, I see that your mobile phone bill has fluctuated greatly recently. Is it because of the long business trip in different places or is there another number in use? I replied: I was dumped ... customer service MM couldn't help laughing.

Qq signature is funny and humorous.

1. Unrequited love is a successful pantomime, and it becomes a tragedy as soon as it is said!

Don't be infatuated with elder brother, my sister-in-law will hit you.

Don't argue with a fool, or others won't know who is a fool.

How many generations does it take to climb from this world to that one?

5. What about egg pain? Rub eggs. Go on!

Sorry, the subscriber you dialed is married.

7. When dry wood meets fire, it is called Ming Sao; Wet wood meets small flames, which is a man show.

8. Format yourself just to delete you.

9. The ancients said: Men have gold under their knees, and I have foot hair under my knees.

10. chirp, Mulan flies a plane. What kind of plane are you flying? Boeing 747.

1 1. Even if you want to cry again, smile and say, damn it!

12. There is no other half 100, only two people get 50 points!

13. It doesn't matter if your head is empty, the key is not to enter the water.

14. You engage in art, I engage in you. This is called deep art.

15. Tomb-Sweeping Day, buy flowers to pay homage to the lost love.

16. What matters in life is not where you stand, but the direction you face.

17. If you just wait, all that will happen is that you get old.

18. If I can forgive your vulgarity, can you tolerate my compulsion?

19. There are too many liars in the world and obviously not enough fools.

20. Half the world is laughing at the other half, but the whole world is a fool.

2 1. If someone uses a honey trap on me, I will cooperate.

22. For the sake of the next generation of the motherland, no matter how ugly you are, you must fall in love. Speaking of a world full of love, lesbian ~ ~

23. Q: What are the most commonly used functions of mobile phones? A: It depends on time. Q: What is the most exciting function of the mobile phone? A: Vibration.

24. I am not your little raccoon. I can't have fun like you.

25. I passed a person countless times, and my clothes were scraped without sparks.

26. I am L 'Oré al Paris, and you deserve it!

27. Be a woman in the next life and marry a man like me.

28. Summer is just not good. When I was poor, I didn't even have to drink the northwest wind.

29. Sunflower, a flower that smiles at the sun.

30. What is the biggest difference between Jesus and Sakyamuni? They have big curly hair and small curly hair.

3 1. Successful men can earn more money than their wives spend, and successful women can also find such men.

32. If you have money, you will lose your home; if you have no money, you will worship God.

33. It turns out that Wukong has always been sexy: the strongest leopard-print skirt in history+red stockings+black boots+steel pipe.

34. On the road of love, Russia always stops and goes. My mother says Russia can't walk.

35. As long as your eyes are straight, you are not afraid of orbital heat.