A joke with a typo

Typos, as the name implies, refer to words such as typos. There are subjective and objective reasons for the appearance of typos. Subjective reasons are not paying attention, not reading carefully, not writing, not looking up the dictionary, being careless and sloppy. Tell you a typo joke. Come and have a look.

Juggling 1 A joke played by college students of workers, peasants and soldiers

There is a colleague in the unit, a college student of workers, peasants and soldiers, with a low education level.

Once I went to the big city bureau to report the materials, I called: "Hello, is this the stationmaster of XX?" My calendar has been sent out. Have you received it? "People don't understand:" What, what calendar? He was in a hurry: "That's the personal calendar you asked me to send." ..... "We laughed at it long ago. Haha, that "resume" is said to be a "resume". It's really a big girl in a sedan chair-this is the first time I've heard of it. Since then, "calendar table" has become synonymous with him.

This guy often makes jokes like this and that. There is a "LU ZHOU LAO JIAO CO.,LTD Co., Ltd." in the wine, which he has always called "Luzhou Old Kiln". People asked him what kind of wine he was drinking today, and he said, "Different, Luzhou Old Kiln?" The old kiln shouted too much, so we called him "the old kiln". Of course, he also smiled: "Why are you making fun of me? Am I not better than a secretary? Grandstanding "-I pour!

Visit the history museum.

On New Year's Day, my family went to the History Museum to visit the "Ice Toilet" (Terracotta Warriors).

After getting up in the morning and sorting out the "relics" (appearance), we gathered at school and took a ride to Kenting for a graduation trip.

Last night, my left eyelid kept jumping. I thought it was a "bra". Sure enough, my wallet was taken away today.

The newspaper says that oysters contaminated with heavy metals can "cure" (cause) cancer …

Last night, my classmates and I went to a fast food restaurant for dinner. We ordered two hamburgers and "chicken nuggets and feces" (one serving) …

When I was preparing to go out shopping on Sunday, I was accidentally caught in the "anus" (steel door) in my hurry. What bad luck.

After visiting the flower market, I spent money to buy "Chivalrous Sword" (gladiolus) and prepared to take it home for the New Year.

My history teacher has long hair and shawl, short stature, short temper and a little "chest" (fierce) …

I think I am a good student who is worried about my studies …

There are always some typos that make you wrong.

1. Take a kilogram by surprise.

Whether it is rice or wine, those who can eat a catty must be eating, and those who can eat a catty must be vicious.

2. Ten-finger salary (ten fingers linked to one heart)

First, people who don't work can't eat, and they have to work ten fingers to get food; Secondly, when it comes to Nami rice every month, it is estimated that you can't move your fingers.

3. Gonggong Channel (public channel) (city channel)

A while ago, from CCTV to local TV stations, turning on the TV was all historical dramas, and my eyes were full of fathers-in-law. However, it seems that the limelight has turned these days and it has become popular again. It is estimated that in the eyes of playing TV, absolute male, super female and father-in-law are all the same thing, making money. So it's also called full channel.

4. Zero tree planting (afforestation)

It is said that the number of trees planted on Arbor Day every year is astronomical.

5. In world affairs, if you drink too much, you will get drunk, and if you drink too much, you will be divided (the general trend of the world, if you divide for a long time, you will divide for a long time).

No wonder some people say that manufacturers in China are grandfathers and consumers are grandsons. Advertisements that make decisions for consumers like this are everywhere in China.

6. A salary of 100 million yuan (single-minded)

With an annual salary system, it is estimated that only Bill Gates in the world can achieve an annual salary of 100 million (if he is willing to pay himself). The problem is that the bosses of some large and medium-sized domestic enterprises have set themselves an annual salary far higher than that of ordinary workers and technicians. Bosses do contribute more to the enterprise than ordinary employees, but is it necessary for them to set themselves an annual salary several times higher than ordinary employees?

Take a break and write a drink.

A student loves to write typos and always writes rest as drinking.

In his diary, he wrote, "The squad leader instructed us to carry shit. Everyone worked hard and no one dared to take a sip." Later, we were really tired, so we secretly drank behind the monitor's back. "

Buy life

In ancient times, a businessman who was away from home asked someone to take a letter home and ask him to bring back what he needed. But when his wife saw this letter, she was really scared. The letter said, "... it's rainy here, so I get sick easily because I didn't buy life." Please go home today and buy my life for me, earnestly ... "In fact, this man mistyped the umbrella (traditional Chinese) as the" life "of life and made a joke.

Miscellaneous words harm people and people hate them. The ancients satirized Mr. Biezi with poems to warn people.

In the Ming Dynasty, there was a county magistrate who loved loquat very much. Someone ingratiated himself with him and bought a basket of excellent loquats to send to him, so that people could contribute first. The post reads: "I present a basket of pipa, I hope you can accept it." The magistrate wondered: Why did you send me a basket of pipa? Why is the pipa in a basket? When the magistrate saw what was in the basket, he suddenly realized that it was a basket of fresh loquat. The magistrate of a county wrote a poem on the post of Pipa Xing:

Loquat is not this kind of pipa,

I only hate my poor cultural level.

If the pipa can bear fruit,

Flowers are everywhere in this city.

A prodigal son, uneducated, spent thousands of taels of silver to buy a county magistrate as a pawn. Once, he wanted to buy a tonic, so he said to the messenger, "Go to the drugstore and buy the best deer ear in San Qian." The messenger immediately rushed to a big drugstore and said to the boss, "My master ordered San Qian deer ears." The boss frowned and thought for a long time. "We only have velvet antler and no deer ears." The policeman was so anxious that he began to cry: "I can't buy deer ears. According to my master's temper, I will get fifty boards! " "When the boss saw this scene, he wrote a doggerel:

Just because I don't study hard,

Mistake deer ears for velvet antler.

If the situation is the same,

How many innocent people are in prison.

Why did Tan Hu read Tan Hu (Xu)

I had an experience when I was a child. As long as I read words I don't know, I will have 60% to 70% correct pronunciation. For example, swimming, chanting and delta all pronounce "forever", which is called "recognizing half by blind words", but there are another 30% or 40% words. If you read them according to the old experience of "recognizing half", you will become Mr. Sentence. There is a story that satirizes Mr. Biezi: "Some people (Mr. Biezi) are fascinated by a book. A friend asked him: What book are you reading? A: Shuihu (Xu). The friend was puzzled and asked what characters were written in the book. Answer: There is a Li Kui jy (big) and two axes (dad), and there are 10,000 people (men) who dare to do wrong; Only friends can know that someone is watching the Water Margin. " This joke is made up to satirize those "Mr. Biezi", but it's a bit out of line, because it's all right to read Hu as Xu and Wei Xiao as Da, but it's no good to read the axe as Dad and brave as Male.

But under certain conditions, reading the original sound of a word is wrong, and "recognizing half" is right. For example, the place name Tanhu Island should be pronounced Tanhu (Xu) instead of Tanhu (Tiger).

It is said that Emperor Kangxi of the Qing Dynasty read Tan Hu as Tan Xu. According to legend, in the 28th year of Kangxi (1689), Emperor Kangxi attached great importance to island development during his southern tour, and named Huang Dalai, the company commander of Dinghai Town at that time, as his escort. He personally asked Huang Da about Zhoushan several times. Huang told Kangxi that after Putuo Mountain Temple was in disrepair, Kangxi gave him 1,200 pieces of silver and ordered him to repair the two temples before and after Putuo Mountain.

Huang Da also brought an old yearbook to introduce the geographical environment of seamounts according to the illustrations in the yearbook. Kangxi listened with relish and wanted to read: "Zhoushan, Daishan, Yushan, Yangshan ... Tan Hu (Xu)". Huang Da Lai and the ministers present knew that Kangxi pronounced "Tan Hu" as "Xu". But because the emperor's mouth is golden, it is also wrong for the emperor to open the golden mouth. So not only did no one come out to correct it, but they also followed Kangxi to read Tanzhe Island as a beach, and ordered residents near Tanzhe Island to read Tanzhe Island only in the future. So local residents have been looking after it. Until the 1960s, when the author went to Tanhu Island to develop fishery production, the residents on the island still called their island Tanzhe Island.

Mr. Biezi defended himself.

Once upon a time, there was a teacher who often read other words and misled others' children, and was sued by the county magistrate. The county magistrate summoned him to the court for questioning.

"Do you often pronounce other words when you teach?"

"No, no, there is no such thing, just a child."

"What? Do birds have them? You read Wu as a bird and made a mistake in class. Do you admit being beaten or punished? "

Afraid of being beaten, Mr. Wang said with trepidation, "Admit the punishment!"

The county magistrate raised his pen and approved, "Punish three chickens and two rabbits."

Mr. Wang brought a chicken home.

When the county magistrate saw it, he asked, "Why did you send the chicken?" The gentleman replied, "didn't you write' three chickens and two exemptions'?"

The county magistrate was so embarrassed that he had to call out the court.

Grand view of folk jokes

Buy 1000 pigs

Once upon a time, there was a county magistrate who scribbled. He wanted to treat the guests that day, so he wrote a note for the officers to buy pig tongues. Who knows that the word "tongue" is written too long and widely, and the officer mistakenly thinks that he wants him to buy 1000 pigs. It was very busy for the servant. He traveled all over the city and went to four villages to buy it.

It is easy to buy 500 pigs. As soon as he felt that he couldn't do the job, he pleaded with his master, hoping to buy 500 less.

The county magistrate said angrily, "I told you to buy pig tongues, but I told you to buy thousands of pigs."

Hearing this, the officers replied, "Nothing! But in the future, please pay attention to your master. If you want to buy meat, you must write it shorter, not to buy my wife. "

Classification of misspelled jokes

First, homophonic type

According to legend, Li Hongzhang had a distant relative who rushed to take the exam, but he couldn't make an answer sheet after sitting for a long time. So I wanted to enter the list through the back door, so I wrote on the test paper: "I am the wife of Li Hongzhang, an adult in the main hall!" " "The examiner finished reading, angry and funny. He raised his pen and criticized: "since nave is my own wife, I absolutely dare not marry (bring)!" "

Second, the style of couplets

In an imperial examination in Qing dynasty, a candidate wrote "I miss my sister" because he didn't understand the meaning of the sentence "I miss my wife deeply" in Qin Shi. The examiner didn't know what it meant at first, and then he smiled and criticized: "Brother, you are wrong!" " The two just constitute a neat confrontation.

Third, misinterpretation

A shopkeeper wrote "moon cake" as "Cantonese cake" on the signboard. Some people say, "Yue is white." The store disdains: "Yes, the word' white' is still missing!"

A boss wrote "retail" as "for sale" in his product introduction, and someone corrected: "The word' other' was written as a different word." The boss retorted, "Make it clear that there is a knife in the word" don't "!"

Businessmen advertise and write "tin foil" as "old paper" Someone pointed out: "The word' past' is a typo." The businessman scoffed: "Hum, the word' wrong' is beside the gold word!"

Fourth, the style of doggerel.

It is said that in ancient times, there was a local rich man who liked reading. He found a reading boy for his precious daughter and adopted his son. After the marriage, the rich man sent his son-in-law to other places for further study. Reading lang loves reading, but his handwriting is scrawled and there are typos. One day, the scholar who studied hard at the cold window missed his hometown very much. This is the season when apricots are ripe. He usually loves apricots, so he wrote a letter to his father-in-law asking him to buy some apricots.

When the old man saw the letter, he didn't understand it for a long time, because the son-in-law wrote apricot as "no". The old man guessed the word and bought a basket of small yellow apricots for his son-in-law. So there is a poem:

Husband wrote to buy "no"

Longing for the old man to walk all over the street

Bought a basket of small yellow apricots

I don't know whether it is "no" or "no"

Classic joke typo story

There is such a thing in the Ming dynasty.

There is a man named Lu Xiong, who has a good personality and talent. He was recommended by the official department to be an official in the imperial court, so Zhu Yuanzhang appointed him as a magistrate in Yanzhou, Shandong Province.

Lu Xiong's inauguration was instructed by the top leadership, and he was not the king himself. Naturally, it is necessary to use the official seal and issue a proclamation. He was startled when he took out the official seal given to him by the emperor. It turned out that Zhu Yuanzhang's imperial edict was to give the title of Zhou in Shandong Province, and this "Yanzhou" was written as "Zhou" by Zhu Yuanzhang.

This matter is actually very easy to handle. The emperor Lao Tzu wrote a typo, and the mistake was wrong. Future generations can remember more common words at most. If you are an official, you will be fine. But this man is one-track-minded. He is poor and earnest. He thinks Yanzhou is Yanzhou, how can it be changed to Yizhou? So, he wrote a letter to Zhu Yuanzhang, meaning: Boss, you made a typo and wrote "Yanzhou" as "Yizhou", which is inappropriate. How can I take office? You are suffering. Let's go

When he saw the letter, he was angry with embarrassment. The whole world belongs to me. I said Zhou Guo is Zhou Guo. How dare you speak like a book and tell me to "get out"? Let me move your head first. Lu Xiong died like this.

This Lu Xiong was killed because he pointed out that the leader had written a typo. It seems very wrong, but it is not wrong.

It turned out that Zhu was born in poverty and never went to school. Being able to read papers is an example of self-study, and it is normal to write typos. But he is not an ordinary man, but the supreme emperor. He is not afraid to write typos, but he is afraid that you know, there will be actions to spread wrong leaders. You said that the emperor Lao Tzu had to admit that he had written a few words. I can't admit it, but I can only say that you are wrong. If you are wrong, should you kill him? This is the logic of leadership.

Lu Xiong is a scholar, majoring in major. Being an official can only be regarded as an amateur, while Zhu Yuanzhang is a politician, studying politics. Therefore, Lu Xiong's mistake lies in telling politicians to learn.

A similar thing happened in the Qing Dynasty.

Emperor Qianlong had two hobbies, one was good at poetry and the other was good at inscriptions. The more words written by Qianlong, the greater the probability of typo.

When Qianlong visited Zhenjiang in the south, he passed the gate of Jinshan Temple and his fingers itched badly. He wants to leave some Mo Bao for the old monks. So the accompanying minister drew up four words "a glimpse of the river". I don't know if it's dizziness or shaking hands. Gan Long wrote "I feel like a river". Ministers looked at it and panicked. The emperor wrote a typo. How do you accept this? Qianlong also saw the problem, what to do, admit it, shame; No, it turned out to be lying on one side ... the emperor and ministers were frozen there.

At this time, the abbot came out to make a circus and said, "People in the world of mortals can't sleep. If you can take a look at this river, which is the purpose of the Buddha's so-called' enlightenment', it will be a good plaque! " This flattery is really timely, and I am very happy to avoid embarrassment.

Zhu Yuanzhang was going to write the imperial edict, but he was too poor to see Lu Xiong, otherwise the emperor's face would be lost.

In fact, whether the emperor has culture or not, he should be equipped with culture in front of people and ministers. He knows very well whether he has a culture or not and whether he has written a typo. In the era when might is truth, you can't compare with him, because he has the right to call a deer a horse, and you have to accept it. Zhu Yuanzhang or Qianlong sometimes hung only a fig leaf, and Lu Xiong took it off, but the old abbot put on a cloak.

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