Tomb-Sweeping Day funny jokes.

Jokes are short in length, simple and ingenious in story, often unexpected, giving people a wonderful feeling of being suddenly enlightened. Most of them reveal absurd phenomena in life, which are ironic and entertaining. There are different tastes. The following is Tomb-Sweeping Day's funny jokes I compiled for you, for reference only, and I hope it will help you.

Tomb-Sweeping Day's funny jokes 1 jokes 1:

Yesterday, my husband went home and took a bundle of paper money, one meter high, to burn paper for his parents there.

I asked, "Why did you buy so many?"

He said, "Now that prices are so high, there will be price increases there."

Joke 2:

After someone came back from ancestor worship, they dreamed that their ancestors were crying every night. I couldn't stand it, so I asked someone to help me.

The master pinched his finger and made a calculation. He was surprised and said, "What a crime! You worship your ancestors with dyed steamed buns and meat mixed with lean meat. "

Joke 3:

Tomb-Sweeping Day, girlfriend and family went out to visit the grave.

I called her, "What are you doing?"

She replied, "Remittance!"

Joke 4:

Tomb-Sweeping Day, a friend who visited the grave, lamented: Paper money is made as real as it is, and it really hurts to burn. With a wry smile, his wife called. His wife said, "Why didn't you bring the money I put on the table?" Besides, what about the 60 thousand yuan I just withdrew today? "

Hearing this, the elder brother cried several times in the grave and fainted. .............

Passers-by praised them in succession. Really filial ...

It's rare to cry like this in front of a grave.

Joke 5:

Someone went to buy a sacrifice and saw an Apple mobile phone wrapped in paper. Just ask: Aha! Apple mobile phone 6? Can ancestors use it?

The shopkeeper gave him a white look and said, "Would you care if Jobs taught himself?" He bought one and was about to turn around when the boss reminded him: buy a mobile phone case, which is quite humid below.

He said yes, and the boss went on to buy another Bluetooth headset. Recently, new traffic regulations have been issued below, and driving and making phone calls are very strict. He bought another earphone, and the boss continued to kindly remind him that the most important thing is to buy a charger. Don't forget to burn the charger. It's not good to ask your ancestors for it later. It's still a small matter, please send it! He bought another charger.

Tomb-Sweeping Day's funny jokes 2 1. During the Qingming Festival, there are many rains, and beautiful women on the road want to find their souls.

Excuse me, where is the object? The keeper pointed to another village.

2. Brother G asked me: Did Tomb-Sweeping Day go home to worship his ancestors?

I don't understand the answer: no, I send it by express.

Brother G said: How do you know that your ancestors can receive it?

I proudly replied: I paid it back with a loan.

That guy has been unable to find a date. On this day in Tomb-Sweeping Day, he hoped to get the blessing of his ancestors by worshipping their ancestors and sweeping their graves. So he wrote a letter and burned it to his ancestors. The letter said: incense is hard to continue, ancestors bless, too few girls, it is difficult to find a partner. If you don't protect me, I will grow up.

"Come down, this is" a voice came from a distance. Scared the boy's hair stand on end.

4. A girl was praying while tearing money, and suddenly a gust of wind blew. Mingbi flies everywhere. Her mother said, pick up the money quickly. The girl said: You see the ancestors were too anxious, and they were all taken away.

5. Tomb-Sweeping Day went out, right next to the cemetery. He remembered that he forgot to bring his wallet, so he called his father and asked him to bring it to me. While I was waiting, an uncle came up to me and asked me, Girl, what are you doing here? I said: wait for my family to send me money ... grandpa left without saying anything, and then ran away. ...

6. What is April Fool's Day confession? Tomb-Sweeping Day's confession is king. In the case of refusal, it can be said that ... he was possessed by a ghost just now. ...

7. On this day in Tomb-Sweeping Day, my family and I went to visit the grave. My girlfriend called me and asked me: Why? I said: send money home.

8. Colleague said: Why do I give gifts to the leaders, and the leaders still pick on me? I said, what gift did you give? When did you give it? Colleagues said: Tomb-Sweeping Day, I sent some big ingots. ...

9. Today, my wife and I went to visit the grave. Because I was in a hurry, I found that I didn't have any money, so I asked my wife to buy it in a nearby supermarket. I had to sit there smoking alone when a couple came. They asked me: What are you doing sitting here alone? I said, I'm waiting for my wife to send me money. The frightened man immediately ran away, leaving only the woman kneeling on the ground and crying ... I was just about to stand up and comfort myself, but I tripped over a stone on the ground and the whole person jumped on her. At this time, my wife came back. ...

10.

After notifying the grave-sweeping activity yesterday,

Student: Do you take a broom to sweep the grave?

Teacher: No need to bring it.

Student: How long does it take to sweep the grave? Are we going to live in the cemetery at night?

Teacher: I dare not live, you live!

Student: Teacher, I made a small white flower for you!

Thank you. I'm not dead yet.

1 1.

Q: "What's the difference between Valentine's Day and Tomb-Sweeping Day now?"

Answer: "Valentine's Day is the same as Tomb-Sweeping Day. They all send flowers and food.

The difference lies in: burning real money and telling people a lot of nonsense on Valentine's Day;

Tomb-Sweeping Day burned fake money and told a bunch of people nonsense. "

12.

Tomb-Sweeping Day will be here soon. Zhang San went to buy a sacrifice and saw an Apple mobile phone wrapped in paper.

Some people don't agree: Ah, can the ancestors use the Apple mobile phone?

The shopkeeper gave him a white look and said, why should Jobs go on teaching himself? Zhang San thought it made sense and bought one.

Boss reminds: buy a charger! Be careful when you come back. If it is a small matter when you come back, it will be troublesome to ask you to send it!

Colleagues were afraid that their ancestors would let him send them, so they had to buy another charger. When paying the money, my colleague asked the boss for a business card, and my colleague said that they would burn it with something to worship their ancestors. If there is something wrong with my mobile phone, I can directly ask you for warranty! The boss fainted on the spot. ..

13. If you have a hidden wish, just say it. If you have a dream hidden in your heart, say it, and they will all come true. As for when, God knows. Haha, happy Tomb-Sweeping Day.

At this time, the customer asked the boss for his business card, and the boss asked why. He said I burned it for my ancestors, so that in case of quality problems, my ancestors could come to you! !

Tomb-Sweeping Day's funny joke 3 Tomb-Sweeping Day, a buddy visited the grave and sighed: Now the paper money is made just like the real thing, and it really hurts when it burns.

With a wry smile, his wife called and said, "Didn't you go to the grave? Why don't you bring the paper money on the table? Besides, what about the 60 thousand yuan I just withdrew today?

After listening to this, this buddy cried in front of the grave several times and fainted. People passing by praised him. Really filial.

It's rare to cry like this in front of a grave.

In the evening, his grandfather gave him a dream: grandson, you hurt people. Yin's police arrested me and said I used counterfeit money.

Tomb-Sweeping Day's funny joke 4 A: Brother, is this your first time guarding the tomb?

Yes, I really don't like this job.

A: It's hard to find a job now.

B: That's right. I'm still a little scared in this hellhole at night. Daytime is better.

A: Then I'll keep it for you at night.

Aren't you scared?

A: I'm not afraid at night, but I'm afraid to come out during the day. ...

Last year, a group of old friends applied to the university for the aged on a whim, and then forgot all about it. It is estimated that they haven't been there for half a year.

At noon today, President Lao Tan called everyone to school one by one. After everyone arrived, a Taoist priest came out, dancing swords and curses, chanting and burning paper. Everyone is trapped ... ask the principal what this is for?

The headmaster put his hand behind his back and said seriously, "Please parents."

Tomb-Sweeping Day's funny joke 6 When a couple is sitting by the sea, the husband always stares at every beautiful girl in the past, and the wife blames her husband and says:

"Show some respect, Robert, you are married!"

"What is this? Just because I ate sick rice doesn't mean I don't have the right to read the recipes of luxury hotels! " The husband retorted.

In the moral class of Tomb-Sweeping Day's funny joke 7, the teacher said, "When President Washington was a child, he once cut down a cherry tree in a plantation. Because he bravely admitted his mistake, his father did not punish him. "

Then, the teacher asked, "why didn't Washington, who made a mistake, get punished?" Who can tell us why? "

A boy stood up and said, "It's easy, because Washington has an axe in his hand."

Tomb-Sweeping Day funny joke paragraph 8 female colleague scolds male colleague: "You are a pig!"

The male colleague was angry and retorted, "I am a pig!" " ! "

Therefore, these days, the tone of female colleagues is very strange.

"Pig monster, go to the meeting!"

"The pig is strange, is it in the toilet?"

"Pig monster, what's for lunch?"

The male colleague couldn't bear it, yelling at the female colleague: "I'm not a pig!" "