Putonghua joke

Interesting Mandarin may be of interest to everyone who studies Mandarin. The following is a selection of my comprehensive Putonghua jokes. I hope you can enhance your interest in Mandarin.

1, the fish seller shouted at the top of his lungs, "fish, fish." Not to be outdone, a jujube seller nearby immediately shouted, "Shit (jujube), shit (jujube)." "Fish." "Oh,no." "Fish." "Shit." The more fish sellers listen, the more wrong they are. He felt that the jujube seller was deliberately targeting him, so they quarreled.

The director of a township enterprise will visit Kobe, Japan. He doesn't even speak Mandarin, but only speaks dialects at ordinary times. So he sent his subordinates to find translators, and when he came back, he reported that "none of the Japanese translators could understand the factory director's dialect". The factory director said, "Easy. Let's invite another teacher from our town to translate our dialect into Mandarin first. " The subordinate said, "Not yet. Do you have to ask someone to take the Japanese when you arrive in Japan? "Mandarin" was translated into Kobe dialect. "

A foreigner with a strong dialect got lost in this city. When he saw a gentle young lady coming, he greeted him and asked, "Rabbit (comrade), give me a kiss (sorry) ..." Before the words were finished, the young lady blushed with anger.

4. A southerner came to a snack bar in Beijing and said to the waitress, "How much is it to sleep for one night (a bowl of jiaozi)?" Hearing this, the waiter changed his face and screamed, "Rogue!" Hearing this, the southerner said, "It's only sixty cents, which is cheap. Come for one night (bowl). "

5. A brother and sister farmer used a scooter to pull wheat to the market to sell. A southerner came to their brother and sister and asked, "Brother, how much is your little sister?" Big brother was so angry that the veins stood out on his forehead.

6. Niu Laobo is shouting loudly: "The moon cakes are sold, and ten are four dollars." Many people gathered around to buy this "cheap" moon cake, and only when they paid did they know that the moon cake for the elderly was four yuan for ten yuan.

7. The old people in the nursing home held a party on the night of Mid-Autumn Festival. The host, Mrs. Wang, said: "Ladies and gentlemen, the performance is really damn (start). Please be quiet. "

8. A northerner inquired where the "cable car" was in a park in Guangzhou. He searched according to the answer and found the "men's room".

9. On the first morning after a couple got married, the family got up and washed their faces. The bride respectfully said to her mother-in-law, "Mother-in-law, you should die first." After that, the bride said to the groom, "My mother-in-law is dead, will you die?" After a pause, he said, "My mother-in-law and you are dead, and finally I am dead." Hearing this, the mother-in-law was livid and couldn't say a word. The bride said, "Mother-in-law, why are you still alive?"

10, an old lady in Putian sells sugar cane on the roadside. A bus stopped and a foreigner came to the old lady's booth to buy sugar cane. Just after weighing the sugar cane, the car started without paying. The old lady urged, "Come on, give me the money and I'll marry you." Outsiders were so scared that they didn't even take sugar cane, so they quickly got on the bus.

1 1. A country girl came to the supermarket, and the waiter greeted her warmly: "What do you want, miss?" The girl said, "I want your life (noodles), pig grandson (bamboo shoots)."

12, Chunhua met a friend who was shopping with her son. She hurried forward to say hello and praised: "This little wolf boy (boy) is really cute."

13, a rural primary school was having a class, and the teacher came into the classroom: "Stand (sit in) the class." The students said with one voice: "It's good to be old and dead!" The teacher said, "Students, it's good to die early!" "

14, two country girls came back from the city. It's getting late. When they saw a truck coming, they waved to it. The driver leaned out and a girl said, "Comrade, can we be your wife (car)?" The driver said angrily, "Who wants you to be my wife?" Another girl quickly said, "It doesn't matter, we are very close." The driver was so angry that he drove away and thought, "Who will go with you?"

15, the village chief said at the villagers' meeting: "Rabbits, shrimps and pickles are too expensive, not pickles, but pig's trotters." Translate his dialect into Mandarin: Comrades and villagers, let's have a meeting now. Don't talk, but pay attention.

16, a young teacher who just graduated went to the office to consult an old teacher. As soon as he entered the office, he found the old teacher drawing lines on the paper. When he had some questions, he asked, Teacher, what are you doing? Hearing this, the old teacher thought he was speaking Mandarin. I'd better answer him in mandarin, too, and say,? I'm making a watch (bitch) .

17, a student violated discipline and was called to the office by the class teacher. After some education (educating students in Putonghua), the student not only refused to repent, but also confidently contradicted the teacher, which made the class teacher very angry. If you zhe zhe again, I will give you two big mouths. ?

18. In physical education class, a PE teacher said to the students in blunt Mandarin. Attention, attention, today we learn gymnastics together in physical education class. Students, please follow me. If you do something wrong, you won't hurt me. I don't like it. Let's put our hands on the glass cover.

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