More than 600 words and 5 jokes.

Although twisted melon is not sweet, sometimes I don't care whether it is sweet or not. I just want to screw it off. I'll be happy if I screw it off Once when my mother was watching TV, she suddenly turned to me and asked me, what's the name of the yellow hair cake in pants? I've been thinking for a long time. Is it Spongebob? Daily diary, I will bring you the following: joke diary.

Joke diary 1

My mother always helps me buy a pen every Saturday and Sunday.

One day, when the interest class was hanging out after class, I pestered my mother to buy a black pen of the Lan Bing version of Angry Birds. Often put in a pencil case, it won't fit. Go to school and put it on a Chinese book; Vacation, sandwiched in a notebook ...

On a recent Saturday, Xiaoyi said that she wanted to buy a pen, and we all nodded. "Look! That's a' little giant', very easy to write! " Xiaoyi pointed to a blue pen with a round head on it, which is a veritable "little giant". I pestered my mother to buy it for me again.

Back to school on Monday, the teacher dictated miscellaneous. I picked up Lan Bing and began to write the title. Halfway through, the whole paper is almost disfigured. After writing a class, my hands are sore, but my notebook is dark. Xiao Yi, who used the "little giant", wrote a lesson perfectly, just like printing.

I threw Lan Bing aside, picked up Little Giant and concentrated on writing the next lesson. After the dictation, I handed the book to the teacher, but my heart was pounding. Please don't be wrong! As a result, the lesson written in Lan Bing was sentenced to death-there was a red dot on it, which was ugly. The version written by Little Giant is quite neat.

I went back to my seat, picked up Lan Bing and Little Giant and compared them. I see, they are all beautiful pens, but they have different strengths. Only by using their usage accurately and properly can fonts look better.

The teacher told us that everyone should go back and buy a pen. My mother took me to the canteen that day, and I was dazzled by many pens. Mom asked me to have a look. I saw some pens, the outside is white, and there are Mickey and Minnie's designs inside, which are very beautiful. I bought a pen with a pink coat and took it home to try it out.

I took my dog notebook and tore a page. Neither pen is short of water. Could it be ... I thought it was impossible, so I asked my mother. My mother laughed so hard that her stomach hurt. She said to me, "Sister, you have the wrong pen. It's strange that you can come out of the water! " I'm surprised. I wrote according to my mother's gesture, but I still couldn't get out of the water. My parents looked at me helplessly, and I suddenly realized and patted my head: "Oh! I forgot to absorb ink, how can I get out of the water! "

Oh hey, a bunch of jokes!

Joke diary 2

My father told me a little joke last night.

The hero of the story is Xiaohui. One day, the teacher announced a spring outing the day after tomorrow, and the whole class jumped three feet. Xiaohui, in particular, couldn't wait to run home after receiving the notice. When he got home, he happily said to his mother, "Mom, I'm going for a spring outing the day after tomorrow!" " ""What about the notice? "Mom is washing the dishes." Well, here it is! "Xiaohui raised the notice and shouted." Wait, "mom continued," Xiaohui, don't you have to do your homework? " "Yes!" Xiaohui suddenly realized, "Oh, I'll do it now!" "My mother read the notice and asked strangely," Xiaohui, don't you have to pay? " "The teacher didn't say?" Xiaohui stared at the notice in confusion.

The next day, Xiaohui came to school early. "Oh," the teacher patted his head and said, "Dear students, I forgot to mention it yesterday. You have to pay 70 yuan. " "I see, teacher." The students answered in unison. "Mom, it's really the same as you said, you have to pay!" Xiaohui shouted at her mother outside the door. Mom smiled and said, "Yes, where are the fares and tickets? It's not a free trip! " ""hee hee ... "Lucas scratched his head.

On the third day, Xiaohui came home and asked as soon as she entered the door, "Mom and Dad, are you ready for the spring outing tomorrow?" "Oh, it's ready!" Dad came out of the door. "Occasionally, bring some milk, bread, apples and Sydney …" "Xiaohui, don't bring so many things, otherwise …" Mom said. Xiaohui interrupted her mother: "Yes, I know!" "So Xiaohui went to do her homework. However, it's almost 1 1, and Xiaohui is still working hard. Lucas, why are you so late this time? You're not usually like this! What if I don't wake up tomorrow? "The mother who is washing clothes said." Nothing, nothing! "Xiaohui is caused by thinking while doing homework. Finally, Xiaohui fell asleep at 1 1: 30.

The fourth day, today is a great opportunity for a spring outing. Mother pulled Xiaohui up early in the morning: "Today's spring outing, you are still sleeping!" " "Well, I'll go-"Xiaohui said helplessly. Mother was relieved and went out to cook hot milk and toast. Xiaohui didn't come out until she finished writing. "Lucas! ! It's half past eight, if you don't get up, you won't go for a spring outing today! " Mom is angry. Xiaohui had to sit up slowly, wash her face, eat breakfast slowly and go to school lazily.

On the way, I met a very good classmate: "Hey Xiaohui, hurry up, or you'll be late!" " ""It's not too late. " As soon as the voice fell, the students' hurried steps accelerated and they couldn't see the shadow for a while. Xiaohui took a long time to get to school. Fortunately, the car is still there. Xiaohui rushed to the car, but the driver scolded him: "this classmate, please come to school early in the future." Our whole school will wait for you alone. Are you ashamed? " "Well ..." Lawyer Zhang was speechless.

Arrive at the agricultural park. They look in the same direction. Wow! How big it is! It turned out to be a tomato bigger than a basketball! The teacher asked the staff strangely, "What kind of tomato is this? It's really big. " "This is our research and development of tomato melon. We are just trying to breed tomatoes and will not put them on the market. " "I still want to eat." The teacher said humorously. They looked at the other side, hmm! How long! It turned out to be a bean longer than a python! The teacher asked the staff again, "Why is this bean so long?" "We just put some developed fast-growing powder to see how long it will last, and then put less pieces and sell them in the market." "Oh, I see."

The teacher still knows a little about agriculture and will explain it to the students in the future.

The spring outing is over. ...

This story tells us three things: (1) Don't forget things carelessly; (2) Don't stay in bed in the morning, or you will be late; (3) Ask if you don't understand.

Joke diary 3

My sister, you should be familiar with it. I wrote about her in my blog. Although she is violent and she is my enemy, after that, my attitude towards her changed and she treated me better.

On Saturday afternoon, my parents went out. I was idle and said to Xinxin, "Xinxin, my sister is going to die." My sister was surprised at first, then looked at me sideways and asked, "Are you kidding?" I didn't dare to show my flaws, so I pretended to be dead at once, lying weakly on the table and saying to Xinxin, "Xinxin, my sister is really going to die. In another hour, my sister will be si. " Yan Yan froze and looked at me blankly. I squinted at her. After a while, I looked at Yan Yan with tears in my eyes and sobbed softly. I asked her why she was crying. Yan Yan's words made me extremely shocked and moved: "Sister, are you really going to die?" If you die, nobody will fight with me. Nobody will talk back to me. I will be very sad. " Say that finish, yan yan cried on the bed. My nose hurts, too. Yes, if I really die, who will fight back with Xinxin like me? I thought it over. In the past, I have done something wrong. When Yan Yan fell, I didn't help her, but let Yan Yan hit me with a smile. When I have something good, I won't leave anything for Xinxin until my mother tells me about me. When Yan Yan was sleeping, I touched her to wake her up, so my father had to put down his work and put her to sleep. Oh, it's all my fault!

Looking at my crying sister, I cried, but I smiled again. Xinxin actually believed the joke. Xinxin asked me, "Sister, don't you want to die?" I nodded and said to Xinxin, "Xinxin, my sister lied to you. My sister won't die. " Yan Yan was very shocked after hearing it. She was going to hit me, but she didn't. She asked me, "Sister, are you angry with me and pretending to be dead?" I nodded again and Xinxin said, "Then I won't make you angry in the future." I was shocked. Is it true?/You don't say.

Sure enough, after that, Xinxin seldom hit me. When she accidentally meets me, she will politely say, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." If you step on my foot, rub it for me. If you have something good, you will give me half, sometimes even more than half. Sometimes it is inevitable that there will be some contradictions, but it will pass in a blink of an eye and continue to have fun. Looking at my sister, I am very happy.

Now, Xinxin won't make me angry. She is my sister, my good sister. She is no longer the violent "enemy", but a Zhang Bingxin who makes me happy, gentle, clever and lovely!

Joke diary 4

In a blink of an eye, in the last class on Friday, the teacher let us move freely. Xu Chen Kai came up to us and said, "I'll show you a magic trick!" " "How can the so-called magic fool me?

When the students heard that Xu was going to do magic, they all leaned in to know what magic Xu was going to do!

Xu's magic is about to begin, and the students are both curious and excited!

Xu Chen Kai said, "Take out your left hand, lift it flat, palm down." The students all followed him, and now no one has found anything fishy. He continued to do the action and said, "Raise your right hand and press it on the back of your left hand, palms facing each other, fingers interlocking." The students all followed suit. He asked us to turn our hands around, but many students failed. Xu succeeded.

Hum! You don't think I can? I tried to twist it, haha! I flipped it, too! Do you want to know what is wrong with it?

Tell you what! When his palm is facing each other, unlike others, his right hand was originally downward. When others are not paying attention, his right hand palm is up and his fingers are locked. When he turns around, he will turn around, understand?

Many students shook their heads to show that they didn't understand.

Students have said that some people said: "How has it changed? Do it again! " Someone said, "Come and teach me this magic trick!" " "I said it again according to the last one.

This time, the students all nodded, which shows that this is plain and clear, and I am so tired!

My golden eyes are useful, so happy!

I think this magic has both success and failure. Success is because a few people didn't guess, and failure is because I guessed it alone. So, this magic has both succeeded and failed! You can call it a joke.

We should concentrate on everything, carelessness will make you accomplish nothing. You see, during this time, I observed carefully, and I won the only victory and success.

Joke diary 5

At the beginning of school, although it added a lot of troubles, it also added a lot of interesting things. The most unforgettable thing is the joke conference.

I was bored watching TV at home that day, so I called my parents and said, "How about we have a joke conference?" Mom and dad said in unison, "Good!"

I told a joke first: "I want to talk about variable fractions." One day, Neil saw his test paper and sighed, "Wow, 57 points!" " Lulu and Hammer laughed and said, "Look, you got that score." . Mom and dad will kill you! How much did you two take? I got 34 points, hammer 16 points. Ha, after talking for a long time, it turns out that you are both lower than me! No, no,' Lulu said meaningfully,' I can change my 3 to 8 and become 84 points; Harmo can change his 1 to 9 and become 90 points. And your 57 points, not ... "Mom and Dad laughed at once.

Dad also said, "My topic is" Write the word' ten thousand' ". Once upon a time there was a rich man who gave birth to a son. He made up his mind to train his son to be a scholar, so he found a teacher. The gentleman first told his son how to write:' Look carefully, son.' -"This word means one horizontal picture and two horizontal pictures ... The son thought: It turns out that writing is so simple! Write as many lines as you want. In the evening, my son shouted happily to his father:' Dad, I can write! I can write! Really? How about Dad asking you to write "Wan"? The son agreed. In this way, my son wrote for a month without eating or sleeping, and finally wrote 10 thousand lines. Tired and happy, he said, "Dad, I finally wrote the word' Wan'!" ! Dad saw his son and was speechless ... "We couldn't help laughing again.

Mom saw our jokes very vividly, so she told one, named "People with Surnames": "One day in class, Xiao Ming suddenly asked the teacher a strange question:' Teacher, is there anyone with surnames in China? Well, the teacher thought for a moment and said, I don't think so. Teacher, you are talking nonsense. There are two people! Tell me, who are they? Lao Tzu and Lao She! We laughed again.

Although the joke meeting ended in our laughter, I felt very happy.

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