Jokes in daily life

In daily life, there will always be a person who brings fun in ordinary life and tells you jokes to make you happy. As the saying goes, a funny smile is a teenager. Jokes in daily life can not only add a little fun to life, but also bring happiness. I collected some articles about daily jokes.

Jokes in daily life 1

1, do you know what are the criteria for being a good gay friend, a good girlfriend and a good friend? It is when you are sad, lost and sad that he (she) can always bring you a pack of spicy strips.

Husband: "Wife, can you sing auspicious three treasures?" The wife said, "OK." The husband said, "Shall we sing together?" Wife: "Yes, yes." Husband: "I forgot how to sing at the beginning, wife, you start first." Wife: "Dad" Husband: "Alas".

Wife: "Husband, if you have money one day, will you abandon me and go to San Xiao?" Husband: "Don't worry, I won't." Wife: "Why not?" Husband: "How can I be rich because you are here?"

Husband: "Wife, look at you. You only eat. You don't even know that you are fat and don't want to lose weight. " Wife: "You won't give me food. I'll open the door at home tonight." Husband: "waiter, serve quickly."

5. Me: "Mom, I'm back. I have been floating outside for so many years, and I still have nothing. " Mom: "Son, you don't have nothing." I was very moved after listening to it. Mom, do you mean you still have me? My mother said, "No, what I want to say is that you don't have nothing, at least you have the face to come back."

I was watching a football match when my wife came over and said, "Is it the Super League?" Me: "This is the European Cup." Wife: "Which team is this?" Me: "England versus France?" Wife: "Where is China?" Me: "I watch TV at home like you." Wife: "Why don't you go up and play?" Me: "FIFA won't let me go up.

7. Son: "Dad, if you had suffered more when you were young, I might be a rich second generation now." Dad: "Then you are suffering now. Your son is a rich second generation. Son: "why do I have to suffer so much to make that little rabbit enjoy happiness?" Dad: "That's what I thought at the beginning.

8. Watch a Korean drama with my boyfriend, about a terminally ill heroine. The hero never leaves her. Me: "If I get terminally ill, will you leave me?" My boyfriend looked at me and said firmly, "I won't." I said, "Why?" My boyfriend said, "I won't live for a few days anyway."

9. I once liked a woman who was a little interested in me, but her family didn't agree that we were together, and her husband even said that he would chop me to death.

10, a male colleague in the company has a sweet mouth and often praises her female colleague Wang Fu. The female colleague was very happy and asked, "Really, how did you tell?" Male colleague: "Your looks make your husband have no desire, so he can only devote himself to his career." .

Jokes in daily life 2 1. Today, I asked a classmate what you would do if you saw someone faint during military training. The man replied, "If it's a man, slap him first to see if it's true or false." Oh, if it's a woman, the man says, "Artificial respiration, of course." Funny jokes in daily life

2. Going to a driving school with friends, I saw a coach bullying a new student with 10 yuan in his hand: "Come, the canteen at the door will help me buy a bag of Chinese." The new students don't understand, one leng one leng. I ran over and said, "Coach, he's new here. He doesn't understand. Let me buy it for you. " So he went home with 10 yuan.

I walked with a girl yesterday. She said it was cold. I said to her, "Have you heard this joke? A man and a woman are walking. When a girl says it's cold, ordinary young people take off their clothes for her to wear; The young artists unbuttoned their clothes and held her in their arms. Bi Er youth said, "If you learn from me, you won't be cold when you jump." She smiled for a while and said, "Another silly young man told a joke. "

I went to bed a little late last night. Today's morning meeting, I was so sleepy that I could hardly open my eyes. After the meeting, the leader patted me on the shoulder and said that I did well today. But my colleagues around me ignored me. Look at me strangely. I was puzzled, so I asked the leading secretary. Answer: "You are an apple polisher. You are the only one at the meeting who keeps nodding in favor of the leader's decision."

5. Colleagues want to raise their salary, but they can't tell the manager directly, so they hint: "Manager, I often dream that my monthly salary is over 10,000, and then find a good girlfriend and buy a house. How can I realize my dream? " The manager said calmly, "Just sleep less."

6. My boyfriend and I went to the supermarket, each picked something, and then went to the cashier in tandem. I walked in front, waiting for the cashier to finish the goods, then turned to my boyfriend and said, handsome boy, can you pay for me? Pay. I'll go with you tonight. Everyone around us was shocked and looked at us silently, but this is not GC. The real GC is: just when my boyfriend took out money to help me pay the bill, and everyone around me was whispering, a girl who was behind suddenly patted her boyfriend on the shoulder and whispered, handsome boy, you helped me, please pay the bill, and I'll go with you.

Seven, hey! What's wrong with this society now? The more civilized the society, the more depraved people are. Let's talk about girls. Why is it getting unsanitary? I watched two girls in the opposite building with binoculars at the window. The last time they took a bath together and washed cucumbers in the bathroom was five days ago. Just to pay attention to you, I never have time to take a shower.

8. Being a nanny, mainly cooking dinner. The host family is addicted to alcohol, and there are dozens of cases of beer at home. Seeing that it is about to expire, it is used to make beer ducks and beer chickens every day. For a while, beer really didn't taste, and there was a strange smell. I think cooking should be ok, so I will continue to use it and add a lot! As a result, one day, the host said to me in an ostentatious manner, "I told you to steal my wine." Are you drunk after drinking Laozi's urine these days? " "I know I was wrong, boss. I have no face to see you and let me resign. "

Daily life joke 3 1, eat pork

A restaurant, two large sums of money. The waiter is waiting to order.

Big style A: "Braised pork"

Big money B: "You didn't eat pork before, but now you like it?"

Big money B: "You don't understand this. What was the price of pork before? What's the current price? Ordering pork does not fall. "

The path thought: this is called big money, what is expensive! Only order the most expensive, not the best.

2. Chickens eat sand

Not long ago, my father Lu Xiao bought a live chicken. Kill a chicken and gut it. Check that the stomach is large and the incision is full of stones. Dad was furious and asked the peddler for a theory. The vendor said: chickens feed themselves and grind food. One day, I saw a rice vendor adding stones to rice in an alley and asked: Is your rice for chickens?

3. South China Tiger

Xiao Lu Ma: "I heard that a South China tiger in Tiger Valley recently gave birth to a baby tiger."

Path: "Know"

Lu Xiao's mother: "Now we are collecting the name of this little tiger. What do you think it's called? "

Path: "Just call it Zhou Zhenglong."

4. Chickens will become embarrassed

In May this year, Ma bought a fund of 1 10,000 yuan. Seeing the fund rising day by day, Ma Xiaolu said happily, "I really bought a chicken that can only lay eggs."

Some people say it's time to sell the fund. Lu Xiao's mother didn't believe me: "How can you sell chickens that lay eggs?"

By1February, the fund had shrunk dramatically. The path said, "chickens don't lay eggs in winter, but they will become embarrassed."

5. Stand by yourself.

On my way to school, I heard a conversation between two adults, but I couldn't understand it.

Adult a: "I posted on the internet and no one replied." It's all sunk. Please help me. "

Adult B: "You won't register another one, will you?"

Adult A: "Stand up, I am Japanese?"