Sharing the most amazing jokes in 2018

1. The most hurtful sentence for singles: When you get old, your selfie may be your family photo!

2. The first line: The thief steals something; the second line: Xiao Ming clearly understands!

3. In the past, I was always 80 or 90 during exams, and I would be served delicious food and drinks when I got home. Once I took the 101 test after working hard, and my family found out that the full score was 150.

4. I have always thought that I am very strong. Someone just asked me and made me cry: "Do you have money to celebrate the New Year?"

5. What is maturity? Your mother didn't force you to do so. You, just put on your long johns. What is youth? Your mother forces you, but you still don’t wear long johns.

6. I sincerely advise everyone to stop staying up late: I have a friend who didn’t sleep all night because he stayed up late.

7. We were having a snowball fight. The snow was not thick. I was so anxious that I saw a layer of snow on the back window of a car, so I carefully scraped it off bit by bit...and then I saw a woman. Lying on the back seat, a man was riding on top, and the two of them stared at me silently.

8. "Parents can never tell the difference between explaining and talking back. If you explain, you are talking back, and if you say anything else, you are making excuses." "My wife is like that too."

9. At the entrance of the supermarket While waiting for someone, two students passed by. One said to the other: "The things in the supermarket are too expensive. At this consumption rate, my mother would think I was taking drugs."

10. There was a conflict with someone in the bar. The other person waved his fist and said to me, "You don't know how powerful my fist is, do you?" I stretched out my palm and said, "Boo!" The opponent is convinced that he lost.

11. "This year's Singles' Day will definitely be the last Singles' Day in my life!" "Are you going to commit suicide?"

12. Girls spend the same age. , you have grown into a succulent. You must remember that you are a fairy and you drink dew, so you can no longer eat it.

13. Xiao Li quarreled with his wife and filed for divorce. The reason was that his wife saw a scorpion when she was cleaning the room. Xiao Li casually said: "If you pinch it, it will be alive?" His wife pinched it and it was still alive.

14. Fill out the form today, and in the column of political outlook, I wrote "eating melon" - on the impact of the Internet on people.

15. At the lottery place, as soon as I went to buy it, I heard him playing "I Don't Have That Life" by Jordan Chan, and it happened to be the same line: "I don't have that life, the wheel is also It won’t be my turn..."

16. "Boss, is this fruit fresh?" "Fresh." "I want to buy it for my wife. No pesticides?" No, you can go home and do it yourself!" 17. I went downstairs to buy groceries in the evening and heard several aunts talking about having a second child. One aunt said: "I should have a second child. Look at Da Lang, if there is no Wu Song, who will avenge him?"

18. As long as you work very hard, one day you will find that you can never close the gap between you and the rich.