Top 10 bad habits of married women

Before getting married, many girls will maintain many seemingly "good" behaviors in love to win the favor of men, but once they marry her, their true colors will be revealed after a long time.

Nowadays, a "husband-tie system code" is circulating among fashionable women in Nanjing. For a time, the topic of "husband and wife relationship" became the focus of "clicks" among married men and women after dinner. Now, let’s take a look at ten tips from my husband!

Viewpoint 1: Force your husband to become a "dragon"

Tian Ming is a doctoral student at a northern university. After a hard semester at school, he couldn't wait to go home, hoping to return to his wife as soon as possible and enjoy a warm and relaxing vacation. Unexpectedly, before the young couple even had a few words to say, his wife was coaxing him. She kept saying in front of Tian Ming that so-and-so's husband recently received a full scholarship in the United States; so-and-so's husband became a doctoral supervisor; so-and-so's husband came back from abroad after studying for an MBA and was hired by several foreign companies, with an annual salary of 80,000 US dollars, etc. . In order not to fall behind "so-and-so"'s husband, Tian Ming started studying hard from the night he returned home, never leaving the first door or leaving the second door.

I don’t dare to realize my original vacation plan. Before the vacation ended, Tian Ming said helplessly, "Although I have a seemingly bright future, I feel like a small boat in the sea that has deviated from the channel and cannot find a sheltered harbor."

Expert comments: It is obvious that women who have this idea often have a strong vanity, which is called "husband and wife love each other"; in addition, they often have a strong attachment mentality, which is called "only the vine binds the tree, but no tree binds the vine" ". In order to satisfy their own vanity and dependence, they exert various pressures on their husbands. Of course, there is nothing wrong with encouraging your husband to work hard, but if you do not create pressure based on the actual situation, it may be counterproductive. In a word: A woman who drives her husband to succeed is too stupid.

View 2: Don’t prune.

Mr. Li likes women who are well-dressed and fashionably dressed, but his wife is increasingly disappointing him. Mr. Li said: My wife doesn’t know how to choose clothes based on her body characteristics, let alone how to match colors. I gave her advice and she accused me of being a villain and taking too much care. Once, I joked that men all like beautiful women. Aren't you worried about me being seduced by someone else? Unexpectedly, the wife snorted arrogantly and continued to go her own way. She always feels that her family situation is better than mine. She "married" me despite her parents' objections. She believed that her "righteous deeds" back then had "trapped" me, so she dared to lead a lazy life like a shameless woman. Although I'm not the kind of man who changes his mind when he sees something strange, when I see a well-dressed woman on the street, I always feel a little bit lost in my heart, and sometimes I even dream about it.

Expert comments: There are many such women in China, especially after giving birth to children and gradually entering middle age. Such women often have the following psychology: First, they have a "safe deposit box" mentality, thinking that when the "revolution" is over, they can leave their horses to Nanshan, so they dress casually and no longer pay attention to decoration. The second is laziness. It means no longer being "strict on oneself" and just muddle along. Everyone loves beauty. Will a woman like you disappoint her husband? Maybe the husband doesn’t say it, but he knows it. This is the real danger. In a word: A woman who is slovenly and willing to be a yellow-faced woman is too careless.

View 3: Suspicion and arrogance.

Mr. Cui is the boss of a 4A company. Due to work reasons, he often takes the company's female employees out to eat with clients. Whenever this happens, his wife will call: "Where are you?" After Mr. Cui answers truthfully, his wife will continue to ask: "Why is it so noisy?" or "Why is it so quiet?" When she gets home, she She would still look for Mr. Cui's opposite-sex moves with sweet words, and then say: "Why do I smell the perfume?" Then she said: "Don't move, I'm going to pull out a white hair on your head" - in fact, she wanted to Check to see if anyone has left lipstick on her husband's neck.

How could these little tricks of Madam escape the eyes of Mr. Cui, a businessman! But he often pretends not to know, so that she can feel at ease when she gets nothing. Once, some of Mr. Cui's friends advised his wife not to be too nervous. In turn, his wife asked them sincerely: "Our child is still young, you should help me take care of him." The demands of life naturally weaken. His wife suspected he was having an affair with another woman and even hired someone to spy on him. Mr Cui said: "My wife's behavior simply goes against the nature of love.

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Expert comments: Suspicious women are often motivated by self-confidence and self-confidence in marriage. Due to lack of confidence in marriage, she is always worried about her husband’s emotional changes or behavioral derailment; because she is not confident in herself, she is afraid One day she will be abandoned by her husband. The root cause of lack of self-confidence is lack of independence and lack of understanding of the nature of marriage. As for an arrogant wife, she will often make her husband depressed and speechless, which directly affects the harmony of the couple. How pitiful.

View 4: Disregard for husband’s dignity

Mr. Zhang said: “I am a person who is oppressed by low salary and does not feel dignity. One day, I wanted to use the royalties I had just received to treat my wife to a restaurant to restore my self-esteem as a man.

During the dinner, I happened to meet two good friends, so I boldly asked them to sit at the same table for dinner. When it was time to settle the bill, I didn't want to go over the budget and didn't have enough money, so I had to ask my wife to borrow money. The two friends laughed. Is your home AA? She was so angry that she pointed at my heart with her jade finger and said, "Ask him how much he earns in a month. Can he afford the AA system?" Then she left.

Finally, Mr. Zhang said sadly: "Don't men have dignity if they don't have money? Why don't women understand that a man who is short of money but has dignity always has hope for development; but a man who has no money and no dignity will always have hope for development; A man with dignity will always be a poor man. Does my wife want me to be depressed forever?"

Expert: You can ridicule a man's ugliness, but you can never laugh at his incompetence. Ability - earning ability and sexual ability are two aspects of a man's dignity. Men who do not feel dignity often give up on themselves and have low self-esteem. Therefore, a smart wife always tries her best to maintain her husband's dignity and encourages her husband to sail through the waves through various "sweet words" and "technical means". In a word: A woman who doesn't know how to protect her husband's dignity is too ignorant.

Viewpoint 5: Love to compare with others and love vanity.

Mr. Li is a division-level cadre. This year, my father-in-law celebrates his 70th birthday. The eldest son-in-law who is the general manager gave a Rolex watch, the second son-in-law who runs his own company gave him 10,000 yuan in cash, and Mr. Li's gift was only 1,000 yuan. When Mr. Li's wife saw it, her face immediately showed displeasure. Knowing that she was feeling uncomfortable, Mr. Li quietly reached out from under the table to hold his wife's hand, not wanting to be kicked by her with all her strength. Mr. Li said: "My wife is good at everything, but she is too egotistical and vain. For example, if her friend buys a piano for her child, she will buy it regardless of whether our son is interested in it or not." She must have any jewelry that is popular on the market. In recent years, she has been obsessed with changing mobile phones. As a civil servant, it is really troublesome to have such a vain wife. p>

Expert comments: Some people describe women as a scenery in the city. Therefore, without competition between women, how can the scenery be "bright"? However, it would be too vain to blindly compare with others based on your own economic conditions. This kind of excessive vanity often makes those "rich" men nervous and even at a loss. In a word: A vain woman who loves to compare with others is too "terrible".

Viewpoint: Thoughtful, inconsiderate

Mr. Yuan complained that his wife was inconsiderate. He admitted that his wife cared about his daily life, but not about his spiritual feelings. Mr. Yuan, who was born as a cowherd, said that shortly after he got married, relatives from his hometown came to their home and accidentally burned a hole in the carpet while smoking. His wife immediately flew into a rage, much to the embarrassment of the guests. Later, his wife mercilessly warned Mr. Yuan that no one from your hometown will be allowed to enter this door in the future. Because of this, their son is 5 years old and has not met his grandparents yet. Before the Spring Festival, Mr. Yuan's parents proposed to come to the city to see their grandson, but he did not dare to agree. He secretly wrote a long letter to his parents and sent a few hundred yuan. He didn't want his wife to find out again, and the two parties had another big quarrel.

Mr. Yuan said: "My reputation in my hometown has completely disappeared. My parents lost their son, but they also lost the respect of the villagers. Although I repeatedly told my parents, relatives and Friends, I was born in a red land, but they don’t believe me. Although I live in a high-rise building in a metropolis, I have a lovely wife and a lovely son at home. In fact, who knows the pain in my heart. ? In the dead of night, I often face the direction of my hometown and confess to my fellow villagers to relieve my guilt."

Expert comments: Thoughtfulness is a common problem among those who consider themselves "good wives".

Some wives are complaining about their husbands: They care about him and take good care of him, but why is he still not satisfied? But she may not know that she has intentionally or unintentionally neglected or belittled her husband's relatives and friends, which has caused her husband's resentment. The union of men and women is not only the interaction between two people, but also the interaction between two people with different social relationships (such as relatives and friends). Ignoring this kind of social relationship will often deepen the sense of "siege" in marriage and breed the desire to break out of the "siege". In a word: considerate women are so pathetic.

Viewpoint: Ignoring sex

Mr. Guo complained that his marriage was “not sexually blessed.” He said that in the five years of marriage, his wife had never taken the initiative in sex, and every time they had sex, they seemed reluctant and like a zombie. In order to inspire her, Teacher Guo often recommended newspapers and magazines about sexual knowledge to her, and even borrowed relevant CDs to share with her, but in practice she was still a zombie. Mr. Guo said that now, he is reluctant to go home after get off work and is even more afraid of sleeping in the same bed with his wife because it will strongly stimulate his desire. In order to escape his normal psychological needs, he fell in love with alcohol and mahjong.

Both Cheng and his wife are government officials. He said: "We have been married for 13 years, that is, two years before marriage, and lived a normal life as a couple. After my wife entered the pregnancy period, I was worried about the fetal gas, so I gave up." After the baby was born, my mother-in-law came to help and occupied my bed. . I can only admit it. After my wife gave birth to the baby, I returned to my bed, but she almost forgot that I existed. She even ordered me to move to the next room to sleep so that my snoring would not wake the children. The child slept with us until he was 6 years old. His wife made up her mind to sleep in separate beds, but she still had to sleep with her daughter every three days. Occasionally on reunion days, she was either tired or sick. Once, maybe I pushed her into a hurry, and she blurted out the truth: The child is so old, do you still want to do such a thing? Now that I am under family planning, I can’t have another child, so we might as well save some energy to raise our daughter, and I won’t worry about my menstrual period. Mr. Cheng finally said distressedly: "I am a normal man with a well-organized family, but I cannot live the family life that a normal middle-aged man should have." When I have sexual urges, my wife sleeps next to me, but I have to hold on. It's really hard to describe. "

Expert comments: Due to the influence of thousands of years of feudal thought, most Chinese people talk about sex, especially women's sexual desire is suppressed. They take the initiative to ask for sex, which is considered "indecent" and "adultery" ”. In line with this, they only regard sex in marriage as something they have to do in order to carry on the family line and have children. This deviation in sexual concepts keeps them away from the pleasure and enjoyment of sex, causing the fact that The separation of sex and love. Modern marriage should be a harmonious unity of sex and love. A harmonious sex life is not only conducive to the deepening of love between couples, but also to their physical and mental health.

View 8: Lack of housewifery awareness.

After Mr. Chen married Ms. Li, he discovered that a librarian’s wife didn’t know how to do housework, let alone manage money. His home is like a doghouse, everything he touches is dusty, and everywhere he goes is dusty. His wife's clothes are always stuffed in the cabinet and they are always wrinkled when she goes to work at 8:30. , she had to get up at 8:10, then grab a piece of clothing from the closet and put it on. She rushed to the bathroom to tidy up, put on the dirty shoes she wore yesterday, and rushed out. After get off work, I always thought about cooking. We made scrambled eggs with tomatoes, fried meat with carrots and steamed fish. I reminded her that we were no longer single and we needed to think about how to live a good life. After hearing this, she either blushed at me or ignored me. Me, even though we have been married for three years, she still dares not have children.

Expert comments: Housewife awareness and housewife ability are closely related. In the final analysis, both are related to how women play a good role in the family. ——Mainly refers to the role of wife and mother.

There is a saying: "To capture your husband's heart, you must first capture his stomach." Of course, this statement is too traditional, but it also reveals something. Some truths. The impact of women with poor housekeeping skills on marriage and family life is self-evident. "Get out of the hall and get into the kitchen" should be a pursuit of modern women.

View 9: Disclose privacy at will. .

The biggest headache for Mr. Yue is that because his wife has "private desires", he has almost no privacy. Li Yue and his wife work in the same bank and live in the same bank dormitory. of.

It was nothing at first, but he had a wife who liked to "expose herself", which often made him embarrassed, impulsive, and even thought about divorce.

Mr. Li Yue said that one day shortly after his wedding, a colleague in the opposite office suddenly asked Mr. Li Yue to read an advertisement for the treatment of beriberi in the newspaper, saying that his wife told her that he Beriberi is very serious.

Faced with this concern from his female colleague, Mr. Li Yue felt very embarrassed. Afterwards, he reminded his wife not to tell anything about the family affairs. Although she agreed, the next time she saw those "best friends", she couldn't keep her mouth shut. What makes Mr. Li Yue angry is that his wife even shares the couple's private life with friends, which makes him look down upon in front of others. His wife's infidelity and the jokes made by men and women in the "circle" made him very unhappy. He said: "What I hope most is that someone can cure my wife's solipsism. In this way, we will all live happily and harmoniously."

Comment: Family is the most intimate place, and marriage is the most intimate relationship. Some women don't know this and like to talk about family "secrets" or even private matters between husband and wife among their female companions, and compare and evaluate each other to obtain some psychological satisfaction. In fact, this is very undesirable. It "betrayed" not only her husband, but also herself and the entire family. It is often said that family is a warm haven. If personal privacy is not protected, can marriage and family life still be warm?

Viewpoint 10: The "desire to control the husband" is too strong

Mr. Haihao lamented: Living with a wife who is too "controlling the desire of the husband" is too hard! Mr. Haihao is a wage earner. All of his monthly salary is given to his wife, who has the final say on all household expenses. Mr. Haihao said, "When I needed to buy coats, pants, underwear, socks, and shoes, she had to make them herself. Even when I went shopping with her, she had to obey her taste. She gave me all the pocket money in my pocket." She would check how much money I had in my wallet every week and ask me where I was. It was usually difficult for a grown man to remember every expense, so I had to "hang" the money I couldn't report on the fuel of my motorcycle.

I started doing some business last year, and my social activities increased and my expenses increased. Every time I ate with someone, she would always ask me who paid the bill, and I would tell her the exact amount. Who ate together and what we talked about. Maybe it was out of revenge that after I made my first business, I secretly saved some money without telling her, mainly to escape her control. The ability to find my partner and know everything. My disaster came, and I had to confess to her later: I did this to get rid of her control, but she thought I was in the way. She has other intentions. In her opinion: since they are a couple and have an identical child, and the two halves add up to one, then she must know everything about the other half - including some details. I cannot accept her theory. , and couldn't convince her. Our family life is in this kind of "control" and "counter-control", which is becoming more and more difficult to separate day by day.

Expert comments: Excessive "desire to control your husband" is actually a sign of "control" and "anti-control". "Common disease" in modern marriages. There are many reasons for this "disease": the wife is suspicious because she is not confident, she is always worried about her husband because of her "care", and is constantly on guard against him "going bad", etc. The "desire to control her husband" is too strong, and it is not only her husband who is stabbed, but also herself - she is always in a state of anxiety and tension and cannot control herself. "One foot". "Control" and "counter-control" will never stop. Why not be a smart "husband" and let your husband be a "free man" happily and willingly in your field of vision?

If you want the relationship between two people to become stable and you want the woman to reflect on her behavior, maybe your seemingly good behavior is unreasonable in the eyes of the other party.