85 funny sentences on Douyin

1. When your hair grows to your waist, I will give you a pair of scissors.

2. Heroes don’t ask where they come from. Love finds my speed.

3. When you receive the test paper, buy a lighter.

4. The so-called natural awakening is actually caused by urination.

5. Not hearing what is happening outside the window, only reading e-books.

6. The most painful thing is late at night when you go out without any money in your pocket!

7. For the rest of my life, I will be thin, and I will be rich.

8. It’s thirty degrees when I’m in the south, but you wear long johns in the north.

9. I have hot strips and wine, so I’m asking if you will come with me.

10. I don’t even want the basin for the water that was poured out.

11. That boy, if he dares not to like me, he is just looking for a chance.

12. The tortoise can beat the hare, but in fact they just go their own ways.

13. You have the nerve to lie, how can I have the nerve not to believe you?

14. Friendship is like a vase, it will break when someone messes with it.

15. There is no need to quarrel between women, as long as you are prettier than her.

16. I hate Mondays and miss Fridays.

17. Sometimes being fat is also a kind of beauty. At least I am fat but not greasy.

18. Falling in love is not that easy, everyone has his or her own nose.

19. Youth is running wildly and then falling gorgeously.

20. The cashier said: I have no change. I’ll give you two plastic bags!

21. There are some things that do not need to be argued. Obey on the surface and resist secretly.

22. Don’t say bad things about others in front of me, otherwise I will want to say it too.

23. Being a foodie is carefree, being a crazy person is worry-free.

24. When others praise me, I worry, worrying that others do not praise me enough.

25. My love world is a slum, but yours is a tall building.

26. Life is not only about the present, but also countless homework.

27. The neighbor is a changeable person, and he changed the wifi password again.

28. Don’t look down on fat people. If you lose weight, you will be stunning.

29. Just because I looked at you a few more times in the crowd, I have been blind since then.

30. Invisible things are certainly scary, but isn’t the human heart even more terrifying?

31. Don’t challenge your sister’s temper. She has more friends on her blacklist than you.

32. The world is too big, but I still met you, and the world is small, but I still lost you.

33. Why is everyone celebrating Valentine’s Day, but my family is celebrating Labor Day.

Thirty-four, winter is so cold. How did the earth do it? I want to learn from it.

Thirty-five, if you can appreciate my weirdness, you will be as cute as me.

Thirty-six. I want to be your heart. If you piss me off, I will stop beating.

37. Friends are like breasts, some are big and some are small, some are real and some are fake.

Thirty-eight, men always see the goodness of other people’s wives, but they cannot see the goodness of their own women.

Thirty-nine. I look forward to the end of class when I go to class, and look forward to vacation when I go to school. I have always been persistent in my goals.

Forty. In order to prevent me from spending money randomly again this month, I spent all the money in advance.

41. Why do I feel sleepy when I read a book? Because books are where dreams begin.

42. Every time I try to cram the Buddha's feet temporarily, the Buddha always gives me a hard kick.

43. Don’t make excuses for yourself in everything, and don’t blame the lack of gravity for constipation.

44. Why do I often have tears in my eyes? It’s because my deskmate always embarrasses me.

45. The girl you like belongs to someone else, and the girl you don’t like also belongs to someone else.

Forty-six. It’s cold. If you can’t give me a hug, then buy me a coat.

47. When you are scared at night, look under the bed. Remember, you are not alone.

48. Sometimes I feel that I have become ugly. When I take out my ID card, I find that I am worrying too much.

49. The reason for being fat is probably that my small body cannot accommodate my great personality.

Fifty. Others don’t know whether you are living well or not, but when you gain weight, everyone will know.

51. Be my girlfriend and I will protect you and not let my other girlfriends find you.

52. Mr. Bao, why is there a moon on your forehead? Because I don’t understand my blackness during the day.

53. I never thought that a person could be so innocent, and also very silly and naive!

54. I really don’t want to look down on you with my toes. But you forced me to do this!

Fifty-five, you can’t even look down on a good girl like me. Young man, maybe you like men.

56. I have never understood why I always say I am taking the elevator when the elevator is clearly for standing people.

Fifty-seven. Actually, I look handsome from an angle, but you didn’t find it.

58. There is no endless banquet in the world, but if you treat me, I can eat more with you.

On the 59th, there is nothing to give to the teacher on Teacher's Day, so I have to give back the knowledge I have learned.

60. The saddest thing is that your best friend likes your boyfriend and your boyfriend’s buddy likes you!

61. Sometimes I feel like I like you so much, it feels like I’ve eaten too much and I’m full.

62. The two main reasons why you can't finish your homework. There is a funny guy sitting next to you, holding a mobile phone in his hand.

63. The math teacher is like showing off his skills when he talks about a question. He talks about it for a long time and still can't stop at all.

Sixty-four, I didn’t learn much reasoning and crime-solving skills from watching Conan, but I learned a lot about the modus operandi.

65. Sorry, due to server issues, the message you just sent was lost. Please resend it.

Sixty-six. These days, who doesn’t have a good musical instrument? I did a pretty good job of retreating.

Sixty-seven. How can two people be friends if their weights are not of the same order of magnitude? They cannot even play seesaw.

68. After cutting my hair, the barber asked me how it was. I was silent for a while and said to him: As long as you are happy.

69. We are best friends. I will help you when you fall, but you have to wait until I finish laughing first.

Seventy. I wanted to look back and smile at the male god, but I didn’t expect that the weather was too cold, so I laughed out loud.

71. Every time I say that I will never pay attention to you again, don’t believe me. Do I look like that kind of principled person?

72. Caring too much about other people’s opinions will lead to two endings: either you will die of exhaustion, or you will let others torture you to death.

73. If there is someone who loves you more than me and is willing to die for you, then let her die and let me love you instead.

74. You can steal my sentences or my expressions, but if you steal my heart, I will call you husband.

Seventy-five, you have two choices: one is to get out immediately, the other is to get out immediately. Of course, you can also choose to leave immediately.

76. Everyone who goes to bed after saying "good night" is often still feeling sick half an hour later.

77. Although you are not very good-looking, the world cannot survive without you, because without you no one can bring out the beauty of the world.

78. When someone hates you, you should reflect on yourself. Are you cute and charming, and perfect enough to make others jealous?

Seventy-nine, I advise you all to stop playing with mobile phones and computers. Recently, I feel that my eyesight is getting worse and worse. I can't even see money when I open my wallet.

80. Because the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl have been separated, the Cowherd and his cow are getting along, so the Chinese Valentine's Day cannot be celebrated. Please tell each other!

81. If you like a boy, then study hard, find a good job, earn a lot of money, and wait for him to contribute more when he gets married.

82. Dayu passed through the house three times to control the floods without entering, so his wife sang at home every day and missed him: the Dayu missed in those years, the love missed in those years.

Eighty-three. A Lamborghini just drove past me and splashed water all over me. At that time, I swore that when I got rich, I would definitely buy a raincoat of my own.

Eighty-four, I called a cleaner to clean the house, and my aunt had to wear shoe covers when she came in. I quickly said: No, no, you can just step in! Cleaning aunt: No, I'm afraid that my shoes will be stained.

85. I am really lucky. I am very grateful to have known these sincere friends for many years. Their attitude towards me has never changed. For example, there was no Mid-Autumn Festival gift last year, and there is still no Mid-Autumn Festival gift this year. .