34 humorous and boring phrases

First, baby, I'll take you to the shower when you get paid!

Second, do you know what year it is? We are all people who have lost time, cutting and cutting until we are beyond recognition.

3. When the minister of family planning visited the countryside, he met an old farmer and asked, fellow villager, do you know why close relatives can't get married? The old farmer rubbed his hands and said lightly: Hehehehehehehehehehehehe, relatives, it's too familiar to start!

Fourth, let a woman spoil me!

I am the most honest person. Never lie. Except this sentence.

I can fry oil by putting your words in the oil pan, haha.

Seven, to pick a mature woman, the skirt is easy to pull. Being pregnant is like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.

Eight, crazy people with mental disorders are not terrible. What's terrible is a madman in his right mind.

Nine, people always love to deceive themselves, because it is easier than deceiving others.

You may not study hard, but you must not review well.

Eleven, before marriage, men should borrow money to let women eat well, and after marriage, women should borrow money to let men eat well.

As soon as I took off my cotton trousers, Miss Chun came lightly.

Thirteen, try gold can use fire, try women can use gold, try men can use women.

Fourteen, don't talk to me about life, talk to me about strangers!

Fifteen, I have been busy and bored!

Sixteen, the reality of society, ruined my chance to be a good person.

17. Joke 1: In junior high school, a girl drank milk to grow taller, and as a result, her chest only grew a piece. One day, the teacher came into the classroom and saw two or three students sleeping on the table, so they woke up one by one. After returning to the podium, the teacher glanced at the class, and finally ...

Eighteen, being a man is still more comfortable!

Nineteen, the real society ruined my opportunity to be a good person.

Twenty, the three most painful things for men: being caught by a lover to accompany his wife to buy food; Caught by his wife shopping with sympathizers; Trapped in an alley by his wife and lover at the same time.

Turning girls into women is the most basic responsibility and obligation of men.

22, don't die in silence, in silence. ...

Twenty-three, I want to do two things today: 1, miss you; 2. Lie to you.

24. No matter how smart a woman is, she looks confused, and no matter how stupid a man is, she looks sober.

25. We have pursued happiness, at least we have seen the back of happiness.

Twenty-six, break the wife's lifelong system and implement the aunt shareholding system. Introduce the miss competition system and promote the lover contract system.

Twenty-seven, in order to cooperate with the successful completion of family planning work in China this year, I decided not to contact friends of the opposite sex for the time being. Thank you for your cooperation.

Twenty-eight, the crowd looked for him thousands of Baidu, and when they looked up, he was a bird in the sky!

Twenty-nine, Lu Yu, a beautiful sister, wanted to have fun with her, but before she could cut it open, the beauty left. Feeling very anxious, she shouted: that beautiful woman in front, you dropped your bra!

The more money you spend, the closer you get to the bed.

Thirty-one, I swear, cancel all previous vows from now on! I swear I will never swear again!

Friendship first, competition second. For example, at a wedding, the bride and groom always hold hands.

Thirty-three, beheading is nothing. My head is no bigger than a bowl of scars. After 18, I am a zombie again.

What are you doing? I am looking up at the sky. What is a 30-degree look? This is the way I miss her. Why do you want to raise your head to 30 degrees? In order not to let my tears fall

Describe a boring and humorous mood.

Describe a boring humorous mood (I) 1. Idle and boring, like a dog.

Everything is when you are here, and everything is you when you are not.

This day is so boring that I want to move when the wind blows a little.

4. Bored to sleep.

5. Tears in eyes and shadows in thoughts, in the end, no one will be the owner of each other's life.

6. Boring people just want to do boring things, which is worth boring.

7. Don't think of my existence after you are lonely and bored.

8. I don't know who to talk to to to kill boredom. I am often hit by such moments, feeling depressed, lonely and unwanted.

9. There are some things that we know are wrong, but we must persist because we are unwilling; Some people, we know that we love, but have to give up because there is no ending; Sometimes, we know there is no road, but we are still moving forward because we are used to it.

10. I get up in the morning, brush my teeth, eat and watch TV, continue watching after lunch, and go to bed after dinner.

1 1. Your words are like the last shot in the back. My heart breaks when I look at them.

12. Boring and boring, idle panic!

13. It's a long way, but this is Xiu Yuan, so I will go up and down. Qu Yuan

14. The evening breeze is floating in your hair, and the night after dusk is very quiet. Who's bored? You said that song was nice and made you smile.

15. Lonely people will never say that they are lonely, and only bored people will make trouble.

16. I always tell you some topics that even I find boring, but I just want to talk to you more.

17. Where were you when I was depressed and bored? We are not from the same world, and we don't know each other.

18. Love is not a refuge. If you take refuge, you will be thrown out.

19. In most of life, commitment is synonymous with bondage, but we long for bondage. What are some good sentences describing boredom at home?

20. It is hard to love someone, and it is even harder to let go of the person you love.

Describe the boring and humorous mood (Part II) 2 1. The original simple life, the secular will turn it into a complex script.

22. Life is a lot of desires. If the desire is not satisfied, it will be painful. It's boring when you're satisfied. Life will swing between pain and boredom.

23. I am still wandering in the same place, waiting for the long-lost future.

24.- The most boring thing I can think of. Is to grow old with you.

25. A marriage without love will last forever, but love is different.

26. Now the machine is very busy, so people are very idle, bored and decadent.

27. One person is idle and bored to talk, and I am bored to talk alone.

28. Mid-Autumn Festival is really boring.

29. I think even if we have nothing to say, you won't feel embarrassed, bored or upset.

30. Boredom is a realm, a shameful realm, and my favorite realm.

3 1. watched the most wonderful literary film of this century, calculating hypocritical and boring women and ignorant men and profound betrayal.

32. You don't need to meet anyone deliberately, and you don't want to have anyone, let alone keep anyone. Everything goes with the flow, and the best of yourself is left to the last person.

33. Degeneration is because heaven is boring and hell is painful, so it is reduced to earth.

34. Many times, if you look too deeply, you will not be happy. It's better to be naive and heartless.

35. The boring time in life is also a limited edition.

36. I always envy my neighbors' sisters and their ability to take their tall boyfriends out on a boring summer afternoon.

37. Admit that I'm not well. I am a little annoyed, a little slow, and even a little nervous, but I will be kind to people who care about me.

38. Vacation at home is boring, and I don't know how perfect it is until school starts.

39. Youth bumps into boring arms, boring holds her tightly and feels suffocated. ...

40. A true good friend is not having endless topics together, but not feeling embarrassed even if he doesn't talk.

A Complete Collection of Mood Phrases in Qq Spatial Humor Theory

40. I like children, and I prefer the process of being a child!

4 1. I forgot the face of the person I promised to love all my life.

42. Sleeping is an art, and no one can stop me from pursuing art!

43. The message has arrived, let happiness embrace you. When in trouble, make way, and troubles slip away quietly. Happiness will always smile at you. Happy June 1st!

44. If you ask your friends around you, if nine out of ten people say they don't know, then this is an opportunity. If ten people and nine people know it, it is an industry.

45. Love is as poor as money in a bank card, but loneliness and desire are as silent as loans.

46. Deal with people, listen more and talk less. That's why God gave us a mouth and two ears.

47. School, although you got my people, you can't get my heart.

48. The unfairness of this world lies in: God said: I want light! So there was this day. The beauty said: I want a diamond ring! So she bought a diamond ring. The rich man said: I want a woman! So he had a woman. I said: I want to take a shower! I can't believe the water stopped.

49. No matter how handsome you are, you should keep a low profile.

50. I came quietly, walked quietly, waved a dagger, and left no one alive.

5 1. Silence is golden, floating bath is fire, tolerance is water, clumsiness is wood, who is old-fashioned

52. You fish and people will eat you.

We can avoid everyone, but we can't avoid a fly. What makes us unhappy in life is often trivial things.

54. Life is really interesting, because life always plays with me.

55. Brushing your teeth is a mixed blessing. Cup in one hand and washing utensils in the other.

56. Brothers have money to spend together, but no money to call flowers together.

57. Give my future mother-in-law a bad review, the delivery is too slow!

58. The only reason I am fat is that my body is too small to hold all my personality.

59. The furthest distance in the world is from Monday to Friday.

60. My room is a mess, so please call me Piao.

6 1. No one has stepped on my head since I turned into shit.

62. If you scold me for being ugly, someone will love me for being ugly.

30 humorous phrases about mood

First, don't be handsome in front of me, I will make you cry rhythmically.

Second, love the moon, I'll give you a love elixir: sincerity, gentleness, respect, consideration, tolerance, health-oriented, warm water, unlimited dosage. Long-term use may lead to dementia and infatuation.

Passenger: Comrade conductor, why are the chairs in the carriage so dirty? Conductor: This is the first train. After pulling this passenger, the next train will be clean.

Fourth, the commitment between friends is always sincere; Warm wishes and concerns, no limit to communication; True feelings last forever, and one will last forever; Bless you, my phone. Friend, have a nice day!

Five, a person can always be with me, called a lover; There is a kind of person who can be more affectionate with me and call them relatives; There is another person, I sold him, and he is still counting money. For example, you who read text messages are called idiots! Happy holidays!

Six, the tortoise and the rabbit race, the rabbit ran in front, looked back and saw that the tortoise was still slow, shouting: quickly unload the burden on your back! The tortoise didn't say a word for a long time. Rabbit is angry: I told you to unload your luggage! Tortoise: Then why don't you try to pull your head back?

Seven, the legend of a brother is circulating in the rivers and lakes. If I don't show up, I'm sorry for the audience

Eight, flying snowflakes, just like my mood at this time, my thoughts are constantly spreading from the bottom of my heart, and I am trying to run to you from afar. Although I can't accompany you at this moment, I am willing to turn into snowflakes and smash your face with blessings!

Nine, to deal with high prices: clothing, new three years, old three years, sewing again and again; Vegetables, lick your fingers with salt three times a meal; Living, folding beds, egg-shaped houses and cabins are very fashionable; Ok, it's the cheapest to walk without riding a bike or taking a bus.

Baby, you are the sun in my heart, the moon in front of me, the fragrance of flowers under my nose, the breeze in my ear, the clouds above my head and the clear spring behind me. Unfortunately, I accidentally stepped on you-Xiao Qiang, a grasshopper!

1 1. A migrant worker: I dug a well ten meters deep in the morning and didn't get paid! Labor inspection: quality is not good? Migrant workers: No, at first, the drawings were reversed, and people asked me to build chimneys! Santa Claus fell into the well.

Donkey: They say my brain is not flexible enough. On April Fool's Day, almost all animals played tricks on me. I have to be careful this year to see if the money they want me to grind is counterfeit.

Thirteen, April Fool's IQ test: If you think you are smart, please press; Feel handsome, please press it; Feel charming, please press the button. Test results: press when I tell you, idiot! Happy holidays!

For the sake of our relationship for many years, I decided to treat you to a big meal! Pick a place and reply directly if you want to eat! Time, after the new year, everyone is free. February 3 1, I'll make an appointment for you in advance, and I won't wait until it expires!

Fifteen, the International Day of No Child Beating, follow-up notes: A can be unreasonable today; Brother b will be very happy; C don't call today, put it on the account; Any day except April 30th will do. Hit the child, haha.

What is the worst job? Is to do something he doesn't like. What is worse than the worst? I want to work all my life!

Seventeen, mental hospital routine roll call in the morning, but point to point, less a seriously ill patient, the dean was furious. Soon, someone reported it and found it! Where is it? Hide and read text messages.

Child: Teacher, why are you wearing glasses? Teacher: My eyes are nearsighted and I can't see clearly. Child: Why are you nearsighted? Teacher: Because the teacher doesn't do eye exercises well, he always reads while lying down. Don't do that. Child: Oh, so the teacher is also a disobedient child.

Nineteen, a couple snuggled up by the lake. Girlfriend said: Do you love me? Boyfriend: Of course, I love you more than my life. My girlfriend pointed to the lake and said, if you dare to jump from here, I will believe you. The boyfriend immediately turned and ran away. After a while, he came back panting. Girlfriend: What did you do? Boyfriend: Honey, I went to buy a life buoy!

The secret admirer changed his hairstyle yesterday, and I suddenly felt a change of heart.

Twenty-one, I have passed a person countless times, and my clothes are scraped without sparks. The furthest distance in the world is not between life and death, but that I am invisible, you are online, you are online and I am invisible.

22. A group of kindergarten children came to visit the police station. They saw many new things. At this time, a child saw the photos of the top ten most wanted criminals hanging on the wall. He asked the police: Are these photos the criminals? Yes, the policeman replied. The child asked again, why didn't you catch them when you filmed them?

Twenty-three, marry my farm, the money is over 10 million, marry my parking space, the car keeps coming, marry my garden, and the fragrance of roses is everywhere. Oh, marry me, I have seven diamonds!

Fox: On April Fool's Day, I lied to the crow that she sang well and cheated a piece of meat to eat. I heard that this guy is smart and knows how to drink half the water in a bottle. It seems that we have to change partners this year.

25. What is the most painful thing in the world? The radiation came and the salt was gone; What is the most painful thing in the world? When radiation comes, salt doesn't work; What is the most painful thing in the world? Radiation didn't come, so I bought too much salt. What is the most painful thing in the world? When people die, they can't run out of salt.

Twenty-six, if the heart has no fixed place, it will wander around.

Twenty-seven, when filling in the volunteers, the students with the worst grades in the class will hand in the papers after three times, five times and two times. The teacher looked at him suspiciously at first sight, and he said casually: Brother reported happiness instead of voluntariness.

Twenty-eight, China1300 million people, I am one in three billion, the probability that you know me is really small! How lucky you are! There are more than 6 billion people in the world. I am one in six billion. I have become your friend. Oh, my God! Your boy's life is too good

One day, the wife grabbed her husband's big hand and carefully looked at the handwriting, like a fortune teller in vice industry. Then she cried exaggeratedly: I envy you, you are destined to have a gentle, beautiful, generous, lovely and capable wife!

Twenty-nine, I have been here for several years, and the time has passed. Couples, intimacy, parties, singles pull over. Only I am depressed, smoking alone, and I can't sleep at night. Knowing this, you can't be stranded, sad, and willing: find a girlfriend and go home for the New Year!

Thirty years old, I hold you tight and say never give up. Later, I can only say I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do. Please forget me and don't remember me again. I hope you can be a dog that can only find a home in your next life!