What are the funny dialogues in Gu Long’s novels?

Gu Long’s novel has a lot of dialogue. The second male and female pig’s feet are aloof and balabala. However, the dialogue is very short and neurotic, so the joke is written like this. Bad play!

For example:

_

"Is the end of the world far away?"

"Not far!"

"We are at the end of the world, how can the end of the world be far away?"

"What color is the bright moon?"

"It is blue, as blue as the sea, as deep, as melancholy "

"Where is the moon?"

"It is in his heart."

"Where is the knife?"

p>

"The knife is in his hand!"

"What kind of knife is that?"

"His knife is as vast and lonely as the end of the world, as bright as the moon Bright and melancholy, sometimes the knife seems to be empty!"

"Empty?"

"Empty and misty, as if it doesn't exist at all, and it seems to be everywhere. "

"But his sword doesn't look very fast."

"How can an unhappy sword be invincible in the world?"

From "Tianya". "Ming Yue Dao"

And this:

You are here

I am here

You are here after all

I’m here after all

You shouldn’t have come

But I’m already here

What are you here for?

I'm here to kill

Who should be killed

Who should be killed

Who should be killed

You should be killed

From "The Sentimental Swordsman's Ruthless Sword"

Some netizens made up a joke based on Gu Long's style:

At dusk, on the street, at a canteen.

People, men, two men, one old and one young, standing across the counter.

"Is it you?"

"It's me."

"You're coming."

"I'm coming."

"You shouldn't have come."

"I'm already here."

"You're here after all."

"I'm here after all."

Silence, a long silence.

The two people, who looked like clay sculptures and wood carvings, faced each other, but the setting sun became more and more tilted.

"What are you doing here?" The old man finally broke the silence.

"Put soy sauce." Succinctly, word by word, without any hesitation."

The old man pondered for a while and said slowly: "How much does it cost per pound? "

"One piece. "Still crisp and clear, without any hesitation.

The man's expression changed and he said: "You know I never sell soy sauce here for one yuan a pound. ”

“I only want one yuan a pound of soy sauce.” ”

“Can you take it seriously? "

"Seriously! "

The soy sauce seller stared at the man in front of him. He was very young, but no one would forget his eyes. They were as quiet as night and as deep as the sea.

p>

He knew that the young man in front of him was definitely an ordinary person, but he also knew that he would never sell soy sauce for one dollar a pound.

The surroundings were still so quiet, as quiet as death. .

The sunset was gradually setting. He looked at the setting sun in the distance and felt unspeakable fear.

He smiled bitterly: "You must buy one yuan." A pound? "

"Definitely! "

"What if I don't sell it to you? ”

“You can try it! "

Silence, as silent as death.

For a long time, he raised his eyes and looked at the young man, gritted his teeth and said: "Okay, I will sell you a pound of soy sauce for one yuan, just you Don't mention it to outsiders!

The witty dialogues in Gu Long's novels are like a joke if taken alone. Come, let’s see the funny jokes of a generation of martial arts writers:

A man wastes ten years of his life on a woman

5 years waiting for a woman to change her clothes

5 Waiting for the woman to take off her clothes

Lu Xiaofeng sighed, sat down on the stone steps, and murmured: "If a man can live for sixty years, at least ten of his time will be wasted.

"

Erniang couldn't help but ask: "Why was it wasted? "

Lu Xiaofeng said: "In the past ten years, at least five have been spent waiting for women to change clothes.

Er Niang said: "There are still five years left?"

Lu Xiaofeng said: "Do you have to listen?"

Er Niang said: "You don't Dare you say it?"

Lu Xiaofeng sighed again and said: "You must listen, I will say that there are still five years to wait for the woman to take off her clothes."

From "The Legend of Lu Xiaofeng"

If you love a woman or reject a woman, Gu Long will teach you tips

"I will do whatever he wants."

"This means Say, you will do whatever he wants you to do?"

"That's right."

"Do you know that you can't say this casually?"

"Why?"

"I used to know a girl who liked to be angry with my friends, and she often liked to say this!"

"The result?"

"In the end, she became the wife of my friend."

From "The White Jade Tiger"

"No matter what, you don't want me to marry you." Give it to you!"

"You really don't want to marry?"

"No."

"Determined not to marry?"

"Will you change your mind?"

"If you say you won't marry, you won't marry, and if you die, you won't marry."

"Thank you, thank you very much, I can't thank you enough."

"Why are you thanking me?"

"Not only do I want to thank you, but I also want to thank God."

"What's wrong with you?"

< p>"I don't have any other problems, I'm just a little suspicious."

"What are you suspicious of?"

"I always suspect that you are going to marry me, so I'm always afraid. It's terrible."

From "Big Shot"

Gu Long is a romantic man, and his evaluation of women has always been profound.

If a woman wants to do something, the best way is to let her do it. She will soon find that it is not as interesting as she imagined. Because a woman will not be interested in anything for a long time, but if you don't let her do it, her interest will become stronger.

He played tricks on gamblers when gambling, poisoned drunkards’ cups, and called other women beautiful in front of his wife. Whoever does these three things will definitely regret it.

There may be several women in the world who don’t eat, but there is not even one woman who is not jealous.

When a woman praises another woman in front of a man, that woman must be uglier than her. If a man is willing to praise another man in front of a woman, that man must be amazing.

If you meet a girl you like, you can try this trick to strike up a conversation

Ye Kai suddenly smiled again and said: "There is one more thing."

Hong The clothed woman asked: "What's the matter?"

Ye Kai said with a smile: "If a man like me meets a woman like you, if he lets you go without even asking your name, wouldn't it be wrong? I'm sorry for myself, I'm sorry for you."

Source: "Border Town Prodigal"

In Gu Long's works, serious jokes can be seen everywhere

"People should have it. Class."

"But I think everyone should be equally equal, otherwise it would be unfair."

"Okay, let me ask you, if a person is stupid and lazy. , doing nothing except eating and sleeping all day long, what kind of person will he become? ”

“A beggar”

Source: "Big Shot"< /p>

Xie Xiaofeng said: "There is something you must not forget."

Tie Kaicheng said: "What words."

Xie Xiaofeng said: "As long as you Once you become a Jianghu person, you will always be a Jianghu person."

Tie Kaicheng said: "I also have something to say."

Xie Xiaofeng said: "What words?"

Tie Kaicheng said: "As long as you become Xie Xiaofeng, you will always be Xie Xiaofeng"

Source: "The Sword of the Third Young Master"

He looked at the sword in Ye Kai's hand Peanuts, said: "Put it down."

Ye Kaidao: "Can't I eat your peanuts?"

The man said coldly, "No, you can ask me to kill you , you can kill me, but you can't eat my peanuts.

"

Ye Kaidao: "Why? "

The man said: "Because Lu Xiaojia said it. "

Ye Kaidao: "Who is Lu Xiaojia? "

The man said: "I am.

Yan Shisan said: "After I kill someone, I must drink."

Crow said: "I drink even if I don't kill anyone."

Yan Shisan said: "After drinking, I must find a woman."

Crow said: "Even without drinking, I also want to find a woman."

Yan Shisan said Laughing, he said: "I didn't expect you to be a drunkard and a womanizer." Crow said: "To each other."

They drank a lot.

Yan Shisan said: "Since you are a drunkard and a womanizer, I will let you go once today."

Crow said: "What?"

Yan Shisan said: "Let you pay the bill."

Ye Kai couldn't help but said: "Why are you still wearing this straw hat?"

Mo Jiuxing said: "Because outside There is a dog barking."

Ye Kai was startled and said: "There is a dog barking outside, what does it have to do with you wearing a straw hat?"

Mo Jiuxing said coldly: "Whether I wear a straw hat or not, what does it have to do with you?"

Lu Xiaofeng: "Some people seek fame, some seek profit, what do I seek?"

< p>Ximen Chuixue said lightly: "Trouble.

Source: "The Legend of Lu Xiaofeng"

"I have a secret that I have been holding back for a long time. If I don't tell it, I'm afraid I will go crazy. , but? But I want to say it, but I’m afraid you’ll laugh at me. ”

“You? Do you have the disease? "

"No. "

"It doesn't matter, just say it, I will never laugh at you. "

"There is more than one kind of lovesickness, but the one I have is the most shameful one. "

"Why don't you see people? My fair lady, a gentleman is greedy and will not get what he wants. He tossing and turning, that is a matter of course, what is there to be ashamed of? "

"But? But? My lovesickness is not caused by women. "

"Is it a man you love? It can't be me, right? ”

“My illness is not that serious. "

Source: "Happy Heroes"

"He has a secret for dealing with angry people - since you are angry, just make you angry again and see how angry you can become. , see if you are so angry that you die. ”

You’d better go to the gutter and look in the mirror before buying a piece of stinky tofu and killing it head-on.