Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Who has a sketch script for eleven people? It should be funny.
Who has a sketch script for eleven people? It should be funny.
Characters: Liangshan heroes (Song Jiang, Wu Yong, Li Kui jy, Wang Ying, Hu Sanniang), Li Kui jy's mother, Gao Qiu, attendants and maids (several).
), spy
First act
Gao Qiu: (to the audience) It's hard to be a man, and it's even harder to be a good man. Sigh ... (as depressed)
A: Gao Taiwei, are you still worried about Liangshan?
Why don't we invite Uncle Bin Laden?
A: No. Let the gods know it's okay! Let's use tremella soup.
They'll get suspicious.
Three people * * * as depressed.
Play Windows login music.
A: (Suddenly) Yeah! Got it!
Follow one forward and whisper to Gao Qiu.
Gao Qiu: (solemnly) How many times have I told you to be honest like me, and don't be mean.
! (Suddenly) Don't do it quickly!
(Three people laugh wildly together ...)
The light shone on the other side. In Juyitang, Sung River answered the phone. Wu Yong, Li Kui jy and Wang Ying are also in Juyitang.
Song Jiang: (following the laughter in front) Ha ha ha ... Gao Taiwei is here! I only brought three people, the first is Xiaomi and the second is Xiaomi.
Xiaomi, the third one-Xiaomi!
(At this time, only the gong sounded and shouted, "Qiu Gao is coming!" " Then, two pull open the slogan "imperial court and Liangshan hand pull.
Put your hands on your heart. "Gao Qiu cocky. )
Gao Qiu: Ah ... you are not bad in Liangshan, rich in products, and your brothers are also very developed. Unfortunately, your mind ... seems to be.
Keep it simple.
Li Kui jy: (pulls out an axe, angrily) What did you say!
Gao Qiu: Not convinced? Let me ask you, who bombed new york? !
Song Jiang: (glaring at Li Kui jy) Iron Bull!
Li Kui jy: (to Song Jiang) Brother, I really didn't do it!
Wu Yong: Brother jy of Li Kui never lies. If he says no, he certainly won't. The Gong Ming brothers shouldn't be angry.
Wang Ying: What if the Lee brothers blew it up? Just make up for what happened to him.
Gao Qiu: Ha ha ha ... (laughs) I'm here to take you out of ignorance. Cui Hua, get on the computer!
(With the drums beating in Beijing Opera, the maid takes turns to hold the computer.)
Song Jiang: Not wine, not beauty. What's the use of these iron bumps
Gao Qiu: These are called Hete!
Although the computer is small, it is very useful.
Maid A: I don't go out in wartime. There is a triangle on the Internet.
Maid B: You don't have to copy your homework, just copy it.
Maid c: lovers don't have to look for it, Q Q smells birds.
Gao Qiu: Anyway. ...
Three maids together: if you want to be in a good mood, use the computer in the morning and evening.
Gao Qiu: Enjoy it!
Song Jiang: I just don't know what the imperial court's intention is in this matter.
Gao Qiu: Well, there's no hurry. We'll discuss it later, okay? Ha ha laugh ...
Act ii
Liangshan dormitory. Wang Ying and Li Kui jy are playing computer.
Wang Ying: (singing) Life is only a few autumn. I won't stop until I get drunk. ...
Li Kui Zhan: (singing) Left Delta. ...
Wang Ying: (singing) Yes, ICQ…… ... ...
Li Kui jy's mother is holding a lunch box on crutches.
Li Mu: (to the audience) I heard that Liangshan has new weapons, and my iron cow is also learning high technology. Very tired! Nowadays, TV advertisements
Too much Yao, good or bad depends on the mouth, calcium supplementation for a while, and more energy for a while! I heard there is some seal oil. My son likes dog meat.
I'll send him some seal oil.
Li Mu: Oh, cow, I have something for you. It's hot in autumn!
Li Kui Zhan: Shit, here comes the Zerg! Leave me alone!
Li Mu: What, a bug bit you? Mom, get you cool oil.
Mother Li tripped over the network cable.
Li Kui Zhan: Hey, why are the bugs missing? (going to see the network cable and seeing mother Li fall to the ground) Are you bored? You broke my network cable.
Come on, do it!
Li Mu: Alas, the tiger wanted to eat me and my son wanted to protect me. Now I have fallen to the ground, and my son doesn't care, alas. ...
!
(Mother Li limps off the bus. )
Li Kui jy: Alas, the network of Liangshan is really bad. Each dormitory has only one IP. (Suddenly had a brainwave) Hey, I have a brilliant idea. I'll pretend to be W today.
On me! (Say, change the Win98 brand on the table to a bigger Win Me brand. )
Wang Ying: Hey, what happened? IP is gone again. (singing) find, find, find IP…… .................................................................................................................................................................
There it is! (grabs Li Kui jy and shakes) You give me my IP back!
Jy: (Pushing Wang away) Take it back if you can.
Wang Ying: What's the big deal about beating me? I still have Win Xp here. (saying, I put on a bigger brand of Win Xp)
Li Kui jy: Xiaozuzi, I am very kind to you on weekdays. Why bother me for an IP?
Wang Ying: There are never fathers and sons in the casino. Where can I find my brother online? I don't ask who you are. Don't try to steal IP from me!
Li Kui jy: Wait, mouth, I'll get an axe to teach you a lesson! (angrily)
(Hu Sanniang. )
Hu (to the audience): Damn it, staying at home and chatting about QQ all day is not sweet talk to me. I have an appointment at 7 o'clock tonight.
The lotus pond looked at the moon, but he didn't come again!
Seeing that the door was unlocked, Hu pushed the door and went in. Wang didn't find out, and continued to talk and laugh. Hu walked behind Wang and looked at the words on the computer.
)
Hu: If you were a mountain, I would like to be a river around you. If you are a cloud, I would like to be the wind, and I will chase you; If you are tea,
I'd rather be boiled water, and I'll soak you. 520 13 14! -What does that mean?
Wang: (I didn't care, blurted out) I don't even know this. How can I mix online? I love you all my life.
Hu: (furious) Wang-Dwarf-Tiger! You, you have feet on both sides, and you hook up with innocent girls online!
Wang: No, no, dear, just a godsister, a godsister I just met. She has always been my brother.
Hu: Dry sister? Look at this sentence: you are the wind, I am the sand, you are the leather shoes, I am the brush, you ignore me and I commit suicide.
Female: ...
Hu: Dry sister? Look at this sentence again: there is no desert in the world. Every time I miss you, God drops a grain of sand, and it has been there ever since.
Sahara desert!
Female: ...
Hu: Dry sister? I ... break up, let's break up!
Female: ...
Hu: (singing) My favorite lover hurts me the most. Why do you love others behind my back? (crying)
Wang: (Wipe your face with a towel and twist it like rain) (Singing) I still love you when it rains, and I will always remember this.
A day's rain
Hu: (singing) How many more meetings will you have? Is it one or two or a lot?
Wang: (singing) In the happy country of love, you are the only one for me, and the only person I love is you.
Hu: (singing) I love so hard to get this half of happiness.
Wang: (singing): I don't want to work so hard either, but I want to get your help once I encounter difficulties.
But I really care about your efforts.
Hu: Care about me? Never touch the computer again unless you forget it from now on! ! !
Wang: (singing): How can you make me give up my love? The information I received flooded me like a tide.
Hu: Then forget me!
(Li Kui JY comes in with an axe)
Li: Sister-in-law, let me help you teach this guy a lesson!
Wang Ying: Never mind!
Hu: You! I told you to ask later! (Turn off the machine)
Wang: You, you are inhuman. You are so cruel!
H: Well, I'm cruel. I'm leaving! I, I'm going to the main building ... (turns to leave)
(Li is busy to stop)
Li: Sister-in-law, you can't go to that place, or there will be fewer girls in Liangshan than in Tsinghua.
Hu: I'll go to the main building ... to teach myself!
Act iii
Juyitang Songjiang's cell phone rings.
Voice-over: Bao-two army horses, Calculus and Hangdai, sent by the imperial court, are arriving in large numbers.
Song Jiang (frightened to disgrace): Didn't you just express reconciliation? How did you get here so soon?
Wu Yong: People are unpredictable! Brother, pay the bill quickly!
Song Jiang (takes out his whistle and blows it): Company 24! ! ! !
(Li Kui jy and Wang Ying run in a hurry, both wearing oversized myopia glasses. )
Wu Yong: Why are the two generals so addicted to alcohol that they stick their faces to the bottom of the bottle?
Li Kui jy: It's all because we play computer for too long. ...
Wang Ying: I just put on this pair of 1800 degree glasses.
Song Jiang: Why are you so playful? Just forget it. You should take a good soldier and go down the mountain to meet the enemy as soon as possible!
Two people: Yes! (turning around)
Fighting and shouting on the battlefield. Song Jiang walked up and down uneasily. )
Suddenly, the phone rang.
Song Jiang: (takes out his mobile phone) What? Is general Li trapped by the substitution array? What? General Wang got the Fourier transform?
Song Jiang: (angrily) These two men are usually brave and good at fighting, but now they are so embarrassed. It's all the fault of the computer!
Wu Yong: Don't worry, big brother, there is one last line of defense. The "Liangshan Fortress" I designed with Autocad is on the way.
Use it!
Song Jiang: (shaking Wu's hand and crying) Brother, I'm counting on you!
Wu Yong: Dude, I'm working. ...
Song Jiang: (I rest assured, I rest assured!
(Li Kui jy embarrassedly enters the stage. )
Li Kui jy: Brother, I'm back.
(Song Jiang is very angry and turns away to say nothing. At this time, Li Kui jy's mother. )
Li Mu: Niu, come and eat the "iron high ball" made by mom. It's very hot.
Li Kui jy: (Ashamed) Mom, Tie Niu ate all his losses.
Li Mu: How to get back to Four?
Li Kui jy: I admit, this is all the games. (kneeling) fight!
Li Mu: I see. If it doesn't go well, think of new york. Is it miserable? Think of the Taliban. The prodigal son will not change the game.
. Let's have dinner with mom.
Li Kui jy: Mom, you are still the best to me.
(Li follows Li's mother off the stage. Wang Ying and Hu Sanniang. )
Wang Ying: Brother You, it's all because Wang Ying is too greedy for QQ on weekdays. She was hit on the head by a stone when she went into battle today, and there were penguins in front of her.
. Fortunately, the lady saved me, and I only got my life back.
Song: People can't be like before. True love is not virtual. Now that you know your mistake, that's good. Don't worry.
Thank you, madam! (Song answered "Yes!" Every time he says something. ) )
Wang: (with a deep bow): Thank you for your help!
Hu: (still a little angry) Are you still looking for Britney Spears online?
Wang: Britney Spears can't save me. Only you are my true love.
Hu: Maybe one day you will leave me again.
Wang: (singing) The wind can't walk away. Even if you leave, I won't miss you. Give me your heart, me.
I told you to give me your heart and hide behind me. I'll keep out the wind for you.
(At this moment, the mobile phone rings and Sung River answers. )
Voice-over: The fortifications designed by Wu Junshi really worked. They resisted Song Jun's attack! Calculus and Line
Two enemy generals, Dai Bo, were captured alive by Lin Chong and Huarong Road.
Everyone is very happy.
Song Jiang: Good! Liangshan is safe now.
Wu Yong: (to the audience) It is clear to everyone that computers can benefit. The key is to learn how to use them correctly.
. If we just surf the Internet, play games and QQ, wouldn't it be a waste of good time? If you can learn more computer knowledge, do it for Liangshan.
Blessing is the right way!
In the song "Good Han Song", the curtain falls slowly.
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