Speed, English translation, online, etc ~

Dear, I call you "dear" on my mobile phone, but you never change my name on my mobile phone. Anyway, I never have the right to look at your mobile phone. You said you didn't like entering other people's Q areas, including mine. So I don't have to worry that you will see and laugh at my poor English. Although my English is poor, I still want to write this diary in English.

I am always moved by love stories. Maybe love is the most important thing in my life. You hate me crying and seeing my tears, I know. But you should also know that tears are hard to hold back. I am usually strong, but I am very fragile in the face of love. I always wanted to be your queen, your baby. I want you to love me and let me face life without any troubles. But now, for me, everything becomes difficult. Do you know that?/You know what? Do you know that?/You know what? I've been trying to create a better life for both of us. Everything I do is for us and our family. I regard you as my closest person and want to be the most important person in your life. I want to listen to your heart, but you always stand far away from me, so I can't hear you. I don't know how much you love me. Your kindness to me seems to be forced or unintentional. Sometimes I'm really disappointed. You don't think of me as your wife. You know, we will support each other all our lives. I don't want to be apart from you, but I am also learning English and watching English movies. I just want to be with you, honey. I hope our life is ordinary and sweet, without sadness and quarrel. You know, I always dream that you cheat me, and sometimes I even think that marrying me is your greatest sacrifice. You may think I'm asking too much. Maybe you just want to say to me now: shut up, stop it. You always want me to be quiet, you always leave me alone, you always forget your promise and don't admit your promise. What can I do? I can only say: Yes, I was wrong. This may be the answer you want to hear most. Time passes slowly, and I don't know what happiness I can have in this life. Maybe what I should do now is to make money hard.

Can the old you, the one who loved me and protected me, come back?