The outline of the story of Song Xiaobao touching porcelain, a comedian eager for joy

Song Xiaobao went on stage (wearing sunglasses), dragged his suitcase, became cool while walking, and took off his sunglasses. "Road, each half way. My motto in life is-sleep where you fall, because I am a very dedicated and professional person. My mother once told me that a cook who can't cook is not a good driver at all. What the hell am I going to do? Don't worry, I'll know soon. (Taking a stool to sit down) Where's my newspaper? Here it is. Hey, go ahead (whistle and read the newspaper).

Scene 1

(Fitness music, fitness man runs out and jumps while running)

Song Xiaobao: (suddenly falls down) Ah, alas, wow.

Fitness man: (Fitness man takes a step back in fear) Wow, what's wrong with you?

Song Xiaobao: You stepped on my waist.

Fitness man: God, it's amazing. Did I step on your waist?

Song Xiaobao: Hmm.

Fitness man: Then why don't I feel anything?

Song Xiaobao: If you feel anything, you will trample me to death.

Fitness man: Then let's go to the hospital and take a picture.

Song Xiaobao: Are you busy?

Fitness man: Very busy.

Song Xiaobao: I know you are busy. When you came here just now, I guessed that you must have stepped on me, so grandpa took all the films. Look, this is a comminuted fracture of the calf bone.

Fitness man: God, it's amazing. My feet turned you into an invertebrate.

Song Xiaobao: Don't nag me. What did you say?/Sorry? Take the money

Fitness man: No money.

Song Xiaobao: Do you have a business card?

Fitness man: There is a card.

Song Xiaobao: Great. I have a mobile POS machine here.

Fitness man: Grandpa, is your equipment tailored for me?

Song Xiaobao: Grandpa is a pure professional. Take this card.

Fitness man: Here you are.

(swipe your card, jingle bells)

Song Xiaobao: What the hell, Xingtai Beauty Club? Are you kidding?

Fitness man: Grandpa, this is the card in my shop.

Song Xiaobao: I want a bank card.

Fitness man: Why didn't you say something about the bank card earlier? not have

Song Xiaobao: You didn't. What are you talking to me here? Send someone to send the money quickly.

Fitness man: Isn't it just asking for money?

Song Xiaobao: Yes.

Fitness man: How much is it?

Song Xiaobao: 800.

Fitness man: (stands up) Grandpa, look carefully. Can you see what I do?

Song Xiaobao: What would you like to do? Take the money!

Fitness man: I tell you, I am an aerobics instructor, and one class is just 1000 yuan. I'll give you a 20% discount today, that is, 800 yuan, so we're even.

Song Xiaobao: What are you doing?

Fitness man: Teach you aerobics.

Song Xiaobao: I won't learn.

Fitness man: You have to watch it if you don't study. You have to pay for it. I will never step on you for nothing. Music, let's go.

(Duoyan Zheng aerobics music)

Song Xiaobao: (standing up and jumping for a moment) Oh, mom, stop! Stop, stop, stop. Go.-No money, go! Besides, before you go, let me ask you a question. Are you a man or a woman?

Fitness man: Mom, how can you ask me such a question in front of so many people? I can only send you five words-I really hate you! (Jump away)

Song Xiaobao: Many people hate me. Who are you?

Song Xiaobao: This is not a good start. I met one like this when I went out.

Scene 2

Bicycle: You are my eyes, but I can't see your past. You are my eyes. ...

Song Xiaobao: (runs over and puts his foot under the wheel) Ah! Oh, dear, oh, dear.

Bicycle: Hey, what's the matter?

Song Xiaobao: It's on my foot.

Bicycle: Did I press your foot?

Song Xiaobao: Look for it yourself.

Bicycle: No pressure.

Song Xiaobao: What's your expression? Look again.

Bicycle: Oh, it's pressed this time.

Song Xiaobao: Hold it down. You're holding me back. What should I do?

Bicycle: Then I'll pay you back.

Song Xiaobao: Have you seen it? This is the man who does things. Pay as soon as you touch it. No one wastes time. Since you are so honest, I will introduce my charging standard to you. My general price is 500 yuan, Shangjiao 1 000 yuan, Shangjiao 1, 500 yuan. I think you have such a good attitude today, so I don't know whether you can accept it or not.

Bicycle: This price is very reasonable.

Tricycle: Uncle, I have no money in my pocket now.

Song Xiaobao: Not a penny? Don't tell me it's useless (pulling clothes)

Tricycle: You know, listen to me, uncle. I am especially honest. Please give me some time and cooperation.

Let me stop, don't move, we're right here, and I'll give it to you when I make enough money, okay?

Song Xiaobao: As long as you can give me money, I will cooperate with you in any way.

Tricycle: OK, just wait for me.

Song Xiaobao: But don't make me work.

Tricycle: I won't let you work (put on a coat for Song Xiaobao, take a bowl and sit next to sad music). Get on the bus and passers-by will throw money!

Tricycle: Thank you!

Passerby, throw money!

Tricycle: Good people have a safe life, thank you!

Song Xiaobao: Come on, stop pulling, what are you doing!

Tricycle: Can't I make money for you?

Song Xiaobao: Can I use you? They gave me money, you know? It's not that you play well, but that I'm too poor.

Let's not make so much noise, shall we? I'll give it to you. 200 yuan, go!

Tricycle: Then you can't talk like that. How can I ask you for money?

Song Xiaobao: I can see that I touch porcelain, and you touch porcelain.

Tricycle: You, listen to me. You are risky in this business. You know, one day, your leg was broken. You came to see me, didn't you? I'll leave you a business card. You are a mean person. There are many people in Little Square. I sing here and you kneel there. Earning 800 yuan a day is like fun for us. Ah, remember.

Song Xiaobao: Let's go.

Song Xiaobao: Gee, the weather is a bit bad today. I'll see if I can get a luxury car or something. Let me hit it.

Scenario 3

The car horn sounded and Song Xiaobao ran over and hit his head.

Song Xiaobao: Oh, oh, still driving, still driving, oh, my feet are crushed, oh, female driver.

Female driver: Ah, ah, (getting off the bus to check) Oh, my God.

Song Xiaobao: Nothing, it's very hot.

Female driver: Uncle, are you all right?

Song Xiaobao: Look, my leg is already here. If I break them bigger, they will break.

Female driver: Uncle, I just came from Honggang.

Song Xiaobao: Where is it?

Female driver: Hong Gang.

Song Xiaobao: Hegang, Heilongjiang.

Woman driver: Uncle, what do you want?

Song Xiaobao: Hurry up. Listen, you hit that uncle, so you can pay him.

Female driver: I don't have RMB with me.

Song Xiaobao: Hong Kong dollars will do.

Female driver: I went out in a hurry and didn't have any Hong Kong dollars with me.

Song Xiaobao: Young people are unreliable if you want to break the contract. Don't talk to me about this. It's no use. I have to finish filming this scene first (take it out and spray it). Don't talk to me about this. (Take out the selfie stick and take a photo). Go ahead, close the door. Ok, female driver: Uncle, you are so international and professional.

Song Xiaobao: You see, your children are so heartless. I was beaten like this, and you said I wouldn't turn over. I have friends in Chinese mainland, but there are no female drivers: my husband is from Chinese mainland.

Song Xiaobao: Call him quickly.

Woman driver: But my husband is a freedom fighter UFC.

Song Xiaobao: He is willing to do whatever he wants and has the ability to let him send me to the west.

Woman driver: But if I save you like this, I will KO you in three seconds.

Song Xiaobao: Oh, don't rattle me. If only he came.

Female driver: Then I'll call.

Song Xiaobao: Let's go, these young people are unreliable.

Woman driver: Hello, husband, I'm in trouble. He touched China. Come to the scene quickly and help quickly. Song Xiaobao: OK?

Female driver: Uncle, but I still want to remind you, don't look into his eyes when my husband comes.

Ah, he has an occupational disease. Everyone in the circle calls him a little beast. You look into his eyes, and he thinks you're challenging him, and it's only a matter of minutes.

Song Xiaobao: I can't look him in the eye.

Female driver: Never look at him.

Song Xiaobao: Why can't I believe it? Let him maim me. I'm covered in bones. I have something to rely on in my next life (husband plays)

Husband: Who touched porcelain? Who touched porcelain?

Staring at the audience who ran past.

Female driver: No.

Husband: Look what I'm doing. Ah, is it a challenge? Believe it or not, ko, you.

Female driver: Not him, husband. Just give up. Pat him three times. Come on.

Husband: You shoot so fast.

Female driver: Honey, you have mistaken me for someone else. The porcelain man is behind you.

Husband and looked at each other and walked to Song (Le).

Song Xiaobao put on sunglasses.

Husband: Did you touch porcelain?

Song Xiaobao: I haven't been anywhere. Right here.

Husband: Come on, get out of the circle.

Song Xiaobao: I can't get out of this circle.

Husband: Why?

Song Xiaobao: Wukong hasn't come back yet.

Husband: It's not easy to do this with me.

Song Xiaobao: I have proof.

Husband: What evidence?

Song Xiaobao: I left the photos at the scene. I just took it.

Husband: (grabs the phone and looks at the photo) Is this you? Are you cheating on me? Is this you?

Song Xiaobao: It's no use talking about it. This is not me. I didn't wear glasses just now. Do you think it's me?

Sunglasses), look for yourself.

My husband wrestled with Song Xiaobao when the music started.

Husband: Aren't you satisfied?

Woman driver: Oh, honey, calm down.

Husband: He looked me in the eye.