A humorous joke that makes people look wrong.

A friend complained to me about her husband, saying: Before marriage, she clung to me like a pug every day, and now she barks at me like a Tibetan mastiff every day. Me: quite stable, always a dog!

Remember, you must kiss your daughter-in-law after brushing your teeth. There are many benefits! 1. can exchange feelings,

My daughter-in-law will never brush the toilet with your toothbrush again!

3. I was burying my head in eating when my mother said, "Look at you,

three

Ten-year-olds eat all over their faces. "I laughed." Because I eat by my face. "

I have been secretly in love with a beautiful colleague for a long time. Last weekend, the unit organized a field experience. That night, she caught a cold and coughed badly. I am in a hurry. I'll go to the drugstore to buy medicine for her at once. She opened the medicine cabinet carefully, took out one and put it in my hand. Tears welled up in her eyes. You should take one first to prevent it from being drugged!

Last winter, I passed a rainbow light area and saw one by one standing at the door, shivering with cold, but still smiling. I know, they just can't help it, maybe it's to buy some clothes for their parents, or to raise young children alone. Thinking about this, my eyes are a little sour and my heart is very uncomfortable. So, so I opened a room ... and called one of them into the room to keep warm. That's all I can do to help them.

6. I was lucky enough to sit next to the goddess at the company event. Seeing her brush circle of friends, I asked the goddess: Why do you seldom send a circle of friends? Other girls send it every day? The goddess said: I send it every day, you can't see it.

Seven. Ask my sister to drink milk tea. She asked how much the cup was. I said 10. She shook her hand and said, no, lipstick is very expensive.

8. The instructor confided to a friend that the difficulty of female soldier training lies in: how to improve morale? How to make them dare to fight? Friends laughed and said, "You just have to say to them,' See the enemy over there? They say you look like fat pigs in military uniforms. "

9. In the first live-fire shooting, a recruit was too nervous and hit the bullet on the target. The recruit looked at the instructor embarrassedly. The instructor came over and patted the recruit on the shoulder, comforting him and saying, "It was a good fight, leaving a survivor."

X. A Dai had a physical examination before joining the army, and found that there was something wrong with his shoulders and his arms could not be raised above his head. The forensic doctor was at a loss and consulted with the dean. The dean thought for a moment and said, "After the physical examination, you don't have to worry about him turning himself in."

1 1. Girlfriend: "What do you think of your husband? It doesn't match you at all. You have no money and you are ugly. " Woman: "On a blind date, an old lady fell down next to her. She picked her up and ran to the hospital. Ask him when you come back. Aren't you afraid of being scolded? He said he should. At that time, I thought, such a kind person is too rare. " Girlfriend: "It's rare. Where is the old lady? " Female: "Be my mother-in-law ..."

12. My best friend is a tour guide. Just called my best friend and asked, "Girl, why are you so weak?" Girlfriend complained: "Too many customers, my throat hurts!" Then, there was an evil laugh on the phone.

13. I found out I was pregnant. I immediately told my girlfriend, "I seem to have won the lottery ..." As a result, she immediately replied, "I am Kao, how much did I win?"

14. There are two kinds of girls. One is to use men as umbrellas. When the weather is cloudy, rainy and the sun is toxic, we need you and rely on you. Another is to use men as parachutes. Important events only need you once, but if you can't do it this time, there is no need to exist in the future. Therefore, men should learn to be nice to their girlfriends who don't make demands easily.

15. How fragile is my relationship with my boyfriend? As long as I take off my makeup, maybe he will never want to see me again in his life.

16. I went to the seaside to sing "If the sea can, take away my sadness!" Suddenly a big wave came and knocked me to the ground. A baritone-like magnetic voice in the depths of the sea said, "Sorry, I can't take away your ugliness!" "