Find a long joke, something interesting.

An agreement between the students and the canteen

This agreement is based on the principle of mutual understanding and mutual respect (that is, the canteen understands the behavior of students, and students respect and adapt to the level of school chefs)!

Party B (i.e. canteen) shall perform the following terms:

Article 1: the diameter of fried cakes and pies must exceed 5 cm;

Article 2: The average number of "cockroaches" in steamed buns shall not exceed three times a week;

Article 3: The meat content in meat dishes must exceed 5%, and the sand content in rice must be less than10%;

Article 4: Some home-cooked dishes should be labeled with names, or at least students above 10 can distinguish the ingredients;

Article 5: Chefs shall not decide the number of meals to be served according to their looks;

Article 6: Steamed bread and flower rolls must be intact, at least not bitten by others or left by rodents;

Article 7: After each meal is cooked, the chef must taste it in front of at least five students. If he stays in his mouth for more than 10 seconds, he can serve it to the students.

Party A (that is, students) shall perform the following terms.

Article 1: It is forbidden to carve the chef's name on the canteen wall, hang Xiao Qiang's body next to it and hold a memorial service;

Article 2: It is forbidden to hit the chef above the neck and below the waist with hard objects that are extremely harmful, such as steamed bread and flower rolls.

Article 3: Vomiting caused by eating shall not be deliberately carried out in front of the canteen staff in order to affect the appetite of others;

Article 4: Beautiful girls are not allowed to take more than ten lunch boxes to the window to cook at a time;

Article 5: When female students eat steamed buns and Xiao Qiang, who is legally dead, the volume of screaming should not exceed 90 decibels;

Article 6: don't use the meals in the canteen as a penalty bet for losing poker;

Article 7: When there are "chicken feet" in the dish that day, it is not allowed to collectively put the middle finger of the "chicken feet" on the rice basin for the chef to eat.

Both parties must strictly abide by the above terms, and the defaulting party will be fined and eat all the leftovers in the canteen that day.

My family has no money.

I was born in a very poor family. I remember when I was a child, my father's life was boring. I can only count money all day long, and so can my mother, who sweeps money all day long.

My family lives in the mountains, and it is very troublesome to go out to buy things every time. It takes five hours to drive a Porsche and four hours to drive a Mercedes. Although there are helicopters at home, it is difficult to find parking spaces there, which is quite inconvenient.

I go shopping occasionally. My parents are afraid that I will be kidnapped and protected by more than 20 bodyguards. Everyone will scare me away when they see me, so I have been ostracized since I was a child ... because my home is in the mountains, it is very cold every winter, and my father also says it is very troublesome to go out to buy things, so there is no heater in winter ... there is no quilt ... I can only spend money to keep warm with my parents every day ... and when I sleep, I can only cover my money.

I remember when I was a child, I rushed out of the room and peed my pants because the room was too big. So my father put a small sheep motorcycle in my room, and let me rush out of the room with 1000 ping in 1000 minutes, cross the 5 km corridor and reach the 800 ping toilet (I often get lost in the corridor).

Dad also asked someone to build another 20 shabby rooms with 250 small toilets in 600 ping, saying: If you get wet in the future, change rooms directly. If the room is not enough or too small, tell dad to ask someone to build more rooms. Our life is hard, so you must put up with it! !

Now that I think about it, Dad is really a kind person! !

I still remember that once, a thief broke into my dad's safe with explosives, causing the gold coins inside to keep rolling out, and the thief was crushed to death ... I felt sorry for the thief ... It was very painful to crush the gold coins! ! He is not as lucky as the thief who was suffocated by money before.

My mother often tells me that our family life is very difficult ~ I have to learn to bear hardships ~

So I have developed the spirit of hard work since I was a child. My future wish is to find 200 monsters who can only eat money, eat up all the money at home and avenge those poor thieves! !