Divorce for a year, wait for the ex-wife to remarry, and open the circle of friends of the brother-in-law. Why do men regret it?

There is such a passage in "The Battle of Marriage":

"Husband and wife life, you should have an attitude of falling in love every day. Just like making a cake, add some honey, sugar and cream to the relationship every day ... "

But how many couples have killed each other's love in the triviality of daily necessities. They forget love and that marriage needs care and care.

When there is no sugar, honey and cream in marriage, then your marriage will become barren and nutritious. Many people will gradually give up marriage because they lose hope in marriage.

Not every relationship can last forever. Lovers who were admired when they were young may lose the excitement of blushing and heartbeat when they grow up, and not every marriage can last a lifetime.

It's not troublesome to deal with feelings, and marriage is different. Marriage involves not only two people, but also two families, and their attitudes and interests. If one of these things is not handled well, it will affect the happiness of two people. Once there are many contradictions, it will lead to unhappy marriage, and divorce will become the only way out.

Not every unhappy marriage means the end, especially for middle-aged women, divorce takes a lot of courage. Divorce means not only erasing all previous lives, but also starting over.

To tell the truth, for many middle-aged women, it is really difficult to start over after divorce, and the result is unknown. If you don't do it well, it may not be easy for a lifetime.

For some readers around me, many middle-aged women who encounter marriage crisis will choose to escape, and most of them choose to compromise to deal with the crisis in marriage. Many women said to me:

"After all, married for so many years, you can muddle along. Even if he makes a mistake, he is the father of the child. Now that I am over 40 years old, it is impossible to start a divorce again. "

Everyone has different attitudes towards their marriage, so they will make different choices when facing problems. I can't give them much useful advice on their final decision, but sometimes I can't bear to watch them continue to endure loneliness, disappointment and injustice in their marriage.

Two people in a marriage can still live without feelings, but the man who keeps on teaching in marriage is the most chilling. At this time, he still chooses to muddle along, and it is difficult to be happy all his life. However, reader Chang Yue made a completely different choice from them, and even I admire her courage.

02

Chang Yue is 45 years old. She is already a mother of two children. When she said she wanted a divorce two years ago, her elderly parents forced her not to compromise, and her mother-in-law and ex-husband waited to see her jokes.

But now Chang Yue has lived his best life, and his life is getting better and better, which makes his ex-husband envious.

Chang Yue and Liu Bin have been married 19 years and have been in love for more than 20 years. She never thought that Liu Bin would betray her one day. In her eyes, Liu Bin has always been a good man who followed her closely and was affectionate. But the reality is cruel after all. Chang Yue didn't realize the existence of another woman at first. After giving birth to the second child, she put most of her energy into her two children.

Ask yourself, although she had to be a housewife after giving birth to her second child, she never let Liu Bin worry about washing, cooking and educating her children. Even in recent years, my mother-in-law was ill and hospitalized, and she ran around alone.

Liu Bin and the woman's feelings for more than three years, when Chang Yue knew about it, he didn't get angry, but found reasons on himself, trying to do better to make Liu Bin accept it. Chang Yue's single-minded retention and weakness made Liu Bin make up his mind to promise her never to associate with that woman again, but he didn't do it.

On one occasion, he and a woman came out of the mall and happened to be met by Chang Yue. Liu Bin quickly explained, "She called me and she was in a bad mood. We have been here for so many years, and we have to take it slow for the last time. "

Chang Yue admitted that her heart was broken at that moment. She refused to listen to Liu Bin's explanation and insisted on a divorce. When she signed it, Liu Bin said to her:

"Our feelings for so many years have to be like this? Think for yourself. You are over 40 years old this year. Who wants to marry a woman like you? Since I have given you such a good condition, can't I promise to accept your heart? "

Looking at Chang Yue's indifference, he said, "You don't listen to my parents? After the divorce, don't regret it, just don't ask me to remarry. "

Hearing these words, Chang Yue felt very uncomfortable and uneasy. She must know nothing about the future.

But considering that he has been suffering for so many years, she still firmly said, "I will only live better without you, and I won't regret it."

03

After the divorce, the son married his ex-husband, and Chang Yue took his daughter. Fortunately, my daughter went to high school and was not at home at ordinary times. She doesn't need to take care of her, so she can spend most of her time at work and improving her living conditions.

When I first got divorced, the pain after divorce was far greater than the hope for the future. Yue life is often difficult, but her daughter is more "sensible" than her, and she has been advised not to give up. Looking at her daughter's positive attitude, Chang Yue didn't want to be depressed.

Chang Yue analyzed her present situation and began to look for the right direction of life after divorce. She began to enrich her life and tried not to think about the past. She doesn't panic when she has a job. She also took various courses to improve her study. She also signed up for fitness with her best friend, and she didn't miss it at all.

The beginning of the day is very bitter, Chang Yue recalls:

"In the past days, I dare not think about it. I handed out leaflets and knelt down to wear shoes. I have been a salesman, delivered a courier, and ran into a wall when looking for a job. After all, I am so old, I have no face value, no education and no figure. Fortunately, I know how to work hard and have a sincere attitude. Only when you meet a good boss can you have such development. "

In the past two years, Chang Yue has been very independent, filling her life with money, killing boring time by shopping and reducing body fat by fitness. Now she has changed a lot, from skin to figure. She is no longer obsessed with the past and has no time to pay attention to how her ex-husband is doing. Now my daughter's grades are very good, and she is expected to be admitted to a good university one year later, and also ushered in the second spring of her life.

In the face of the second relationship, she was a little timid at first, afraid of repeating the same mistakes, but her daughter always advised her to let go and let her be herself wholeheartedly, regardless of the feelings of others. If it weren't for her daughter's support, Chang Yue wouldn't have made a decision so quickly. She is a few years older now and divorced. Very kind and considerate to her. Chang Yue is willing to treat him sincerely and give up everything in the past.

At the end of last year, they got married and lived happily. In the past, Chang Yue never loved basking in his friends, but now he loves basking in their family's happiness. Liu Bin has no intention of turning to her circle of friends. When he saw the photos of Chang Yue cooking with the incumbent and going out to play with his daughter, he suddenly regretted it. Now he has stopped contacting that woman, and his son doesn't want to call him dad.

Liu Bin has turned to Chang Yue's circle of friends in the past two years, with mixed feelings. He even misses his marriage a little. My son is not close to him and often likes to run there more and more. I thought I would have a better life after the divorce, but I didn't expect only regret in the end.

04

In fact, divorce is not terrible for women. Divorce is not the end of the world, nor the end of a happy life.

Therefore, unhappy divorced women must understand a truth, that is, for themselves, getting rid of misfortune is happiness, and their future days are in their own hands. As long as they hold on, they can live a good life.

As the saying goes: "Ending a wrong marriage is the beginning of a happy marriage."

There is no shame in divorcing two people. On the contrary, when they are unhappy and have to make do, divorce is the best way to get rid of misfortune. Two people have no feelings to cultivate, but one person should not be forgiven for making mistakes one after another.

Since two people divorced, they can only prove that their previous life was not suitable for them, and their future happy marriage was won by themselves. As long as they walk in the right direction and make the right choice, they can embark on the road of harvesting happiness again. For women who are still immersed in depression after divorce, don't be discouraged or disappointed, seize the present and spend more time planning their future.

Please believe that a divorced woman can only prove with her own efforts and time that she can live happily without her ex-husband by keeping herself busy and not immersed in her last relationship.

Just like Chang Yue, although depressed after divorce, she is still willing to live actively, dress and exercise, and have a wonderful life. It is her positive attitude that makes it easier for her to get a new life and happiness.

Chang Yue's success in reaping happiness after divorce also proves that it is either a second marriage or misfortune.

For the second marriage, the lessons of the last marriage will naturally leave a psychological shadow on themselves, but actively getting rid of and overcoming it and being honest with each other can also harvest another happy marriage.

I really hope that a divorced woman can not only maintain spiritual independence to make herself stronger, but also maintain economic independence, enrich herself with more knowledge and exercise. Only in this way can we find a new direction in life, and of course we must have confidence in the face of new feelings!

Pain will one day become a stepping stone to your future success. This sentence is for all divorced women.