I fell in love with my distant cousin. What should I do?

Wen/the wolf in the distant mountains, my distant cousin and I (her grandfather and my grandfather are brothers) can be regarded as childhood friends. I like her very much, and she likes me. Eleven years ago, she was only 19 years old. I once confessed to her. She said who told us that we were brother and sister? I also thought that marriage law was not allowed for our relationship, so I gave up. Then we got married separately, and now she has a five-year-old son. But in the past 11 years, we have been in contact. I miss her all the time, and I know she misses me, too. I am in pain! In fact, I had many opportunities to meet her, but I avoided them as much as possible. I didn't want to hurt her and her family, and I really thought that our cousin relationship could not be married, and I didn't consult a lawyer. It was not until yesterday that I made a special inquiry from the Internet, and I knew that this relationship was completely legal, and there were many examples. Today, I was on a business trip to her city, and we met by mistake, and as a result, I went to bed. I feel more painful! I can't bear to part with her, and my parents have always regarded her as a good example for their daughter-in-law, but they didn't encourage me to pursue her before. I think they may not even know whether this relationship is a close relative. I often wonder how happy we would be if we could get together before. I have always loved her since I was a child, and my parents like her very much. If we can get together, my parents will be very happy, because the wife I am looking for has always had a bad relationship with my parents, and I just make do with her. I wonder if we can give up everything now and live together? I am most worried about causing her great harm, because her father is very traditional, and her current husband is very kind to her, her father and son. I don't know what to do. My mood is a mess, I hope everyone can give me an idea! The above is a post posted by a netizen in a forum, and the following is my opinion: after reading your post, I deeply sympathize with and understand, because it is really a very painful thing to be unable to get together with my beloved, which is the greatest regret in life! At the same time, I appreciate you for being reasonable and facing the reality calmly and rationally. I can see that you are a knowledgeable person. I want to say a few words to you. I believe you will handle this matter properly. 1. A fait accompli, don't change it easily. The missed opportunity has been missed, and no matter how hard you try, it can't be redeemed. Because of age, marriage and other reasons, the original feeling can't be repeated. Now that you all have your own families, if you want to get together, you must break up your current family. This involves two families, hurting your spouses, children and the woman's parents and many other innocent people. As a man, it is understandable to pursue the happiness of marriage, but we should not forget the social responsibilities that we should bear as husbands and fathers, we should not annihilate our conscience, and we should not add inexplicable pain to others because we covet our own happiness. In particular, the children of both sides are not mature physically and mentally, and are vulnerable to marital changes, causing trauma to young minds. Sometimes the physical pain is easy to heal, and the psychological shadow will linger for a lifetime. Therefore, divorce needs to be cautious, think twice before you act! 2. If you love someone, you don't have to have it. It can be seen from your post that you love her very much. Therefore, I am afraid that divorce will do too much harm to her father, husband and son. In that case, why don't you let go and let her keep the original quiet running track and live happily? I think you must be happy that she has a comfortable life. Her marriage with you is not necessarily happier than her original life. Of course, making this choice requires your courage and your personal sacrifice. Think about it carefully, is this the truth? 3, * * * living together, it is inevitable to stumble. Often together, teeth and tongues will also fight, not to mention two people with brains and personality. Over time, conflicts between husband and wife and family friction are normal. Don't compare your wife with your cousin once there is a contradiction. People are more popular than others. Everyone has advantages and disadvantages. You should treat your wife with tolerance. Find reasons from yourself. Are you all right? If your wife compares you with others, can't you find out your weaknesses and problems? Besides, my cousin lives in a different city from you, and the distance produces beauty. Once my cousin is with you every day, can you still think that she is all right? Can there be no contradiction and friction? Although permitted by law, you are still close relatives. Article 6 of the Marriage Law of China stipulates: "Direct blood relatives and collateral blood relatives within three generations are forbidden to get married." According to the marriage law of our country, you are allowed to get married because you belong to four generations of collateral blood relatives. It must be pointed out that even so, you still belong to the category of close relatives, and there are certain problems after childbirth. Close relatives (refers to ancestors who have the same ancestry within 3-4 generations. If they intermarry, it is called consanguineous marriage. When close relatives get married, the mortality rate of offspring is high, and dementia, deformed children and genetic diseases often appear. This is because couples who are married by close relatives get more identical genes from their ancestors, which makes it easy for recessive harmful genes to meet (that is, homozygous) in their offspring, and it is easy to have children with poor quality. I hope the above comments will help you. (This article has clicked 8, times in the forum of "The True World")