Humorous jokes about stomachache

Lead: Everything has its negative side. Where there is pain, there is happiness, and happiness is naturally accompanied by jokes in life. Let me sort out the humorous jokes that make you laugh until your stomach hurts. I hope it helps you. Welcome to read!

Humorous jokes about stomachache

1, biology teacher African wild boar

The biology teacher is describing the appearance of African wild boar on the stage with great interest. Occasionally, when she scanned the stage, she found that most students were dozing off.

So he was furious and shouted: Look at me! How do you know what African wild boar looks like without looking at me?

2. Image contrast

A fat woman came to a meat stall and wanted to spend 725 yuan on four Jin of pork.

The salesman said, you are amazing, so buy five catties! ?

The fat woman quickly explained:? You don't know, I'm on a diet. I lost four pounds and 725 yuan. I want to see how big this piece of meat is. ?

3. Moon cakes were rejected

Moon cakes fall in love with steamed bread and pursue it desperately. Steamed bread swears to death.

Mooncake asks sadly: Why can't you accept me? What is this for?

Steamed bread:? My mother said that your stomach is full of huahuachangzi, which is not safe. ?

4. Twenty-four letters are also for the Mid-Autumn Festival to get together and start arguing about who looks like moon cakes.

O: I look like a moon cake the most.

C: Me, too. I just got bitten.

D: Me, too. I just got cut.

Q: I'm a moon cake, too, huh? Just a little stuffing.

A long time ago, a farmer married a silly daughter-in-law. Easter is coming, and he really wants to have a big family dinner, but he doesn't know how to do it. He remembered that his neighbor's Easter family dinner was very good every year, so he made his stupid wife dress up and went to Mark's house across the street to find out. ? You should observe what he is doing. He said,? Come back and tell me that we will do exactly the same thing as them. ? His wife dressed up and left home. It wasn't long before she came back. When I entered the door, I didn't say a word. I took off my shoes and started hitting my husband. ? What are you doing? Her husband shouted to her. Are you out of your mind? You said I would do whatever Mark's family did. His wife said,? Mrs. Mark is hitting Mr. Mark with her shoes, which is the way I used just now. ?

6. My girlfriend called me and cried. I thought I wouldn't cry when I cut onions today, but I cried when I cut my finger.

Alas! It is not easy for this IQ to live to this day! It really hurts.

7. I paid so much for my work that I missed my girlfriend all the time. Yesterday, she said to me: You know work all day. Tell you the truth, I have someone outside. I was surprised to ask, can you ask him to apply for a membership card in my store?

8、? My boyfriend often hits me. Can I continue with him?

? Yes, as long as he doesn't break your leg. ?

9. I saw a warm scene in a restaurant. The boy said to the girl? There is not much meat left. Please eat more. I'm not hungry. ?

The girl was moved and said? Honey, why don't you eat buffet and get so much nonsense! I can't eat, so much! Give it to me! ?

10, my mother taught my brother homework yesterday, but my brother didn't agree.

I asked my mother every question, and my mother was angry: you don't know every question, so I'll help you! ?

The younger brother said flatly:? No way! Different handwriting will be found by the teacher! ?

1 1. Once, the company sent Sister Wang to pick up a customer.

With a freshly baked driver's license, she drove away excitedly.

When the car went uphill, unfortunately, the fire went out. She stepped on the brake and recalled the technology while operating.

But I accidentally said: What did the driving school teacher teach? ,

Scared the customer comrades in the back row to hold the seat back tightly and grab the door with their hands during the next journey!

12、? Today, I saw an old lady drop four 500 yuan bills from her pocket.

I'll pick it up right away and give it back to the old lady. The old lady asked my name,

I turned to the old lady and said, my name is red scarf, and Uncle Lei Feng is my idol. ?

? Teacher's comment: 4 500 yuan, show it to the teacher next time!

13. After graduation, Lei Lei went to teach in a girls' school. Because young male teachers are relatively low-level,

So Lei Lei always thought that he, a pure man, would be very popular.

In the first class, a female student forgot to bring her textbook. Lei Lei asked her to stand up.

Ask other students how to punish them. They said in unison with tacit understanding:? The teacher kissed her! ?

Everyone is waiting to see Lei Lei's reaction. Lei Lei glanced at his classmates.

Had to answer:? You can't punish the teacher! ?

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