You are no longer my Bai Yueguang.

There is a weak me in the dark door. Your appearance is like a beam of light, driving away my fear and timidity of the world. You encouraged me to walk out of that small door bravely, but you stopped illuminating me when I was about to succeed. My Bai Yueguang is getting farther and farther away from me, and I'm trying to catch it. Only to find that there is nothing I can do. I went back to the small door, and it seemed darker here.

Teacher Peng and I are classmates in junior high school, high school is still a school, and the university has been together for a year. I decided to stay with him because he is sunny and cheerful. Influenced by my family, I pretend to be strong and smile every day. Optimism is almost everyone's evaluation of me. Only he knows that my heart is extremely insecure, and I will hide my sadness. He is good at observing people. As long as I am a little unhappy after receiving the video, he can detect it. He can understand everything about me, take care of me carefully, and don't let me feel sad and hurt. The sad and gloomy self in my heart seems to be full of smiles and hopes because of caring. He took me to many places. He told me that he would take me to travel when I was unhappy in the future. Traveling is the most relaxing thing. He knows that I hate people saying that I can't do it, so he tries his best to do everything he promised me. He automatically shields the opposite sex who has ideas about him, giving me a sense of security. Gradually, I began to rely on him and get used to him. I'm used to him singing to relieve my menstrual pain. I am used to him giving me analysis and telling jokes to comfort me when I am sad. I'm used to all kinds of small surprises he gave me during the festival. I'm used to him taking me for a walk every day when I'm away from home. I'm used to going to the supermarket with him every day and listening to him say that the old couple are starting to live. I am used to him every morning, afternoon and evening. I am used to his various things, and he is used to being with me.

Just when I got used to him, he gradually left me. He lost patience before, and he didn't keep his promise to me. He spends less and less time chatting and receiving videos every day. He didn't remember my menstrual time as before, comforted me when I had menstrual pain, comforted me when I was sad as before, and dragged me out for a walk as before. ...

Many people say that many feelings are lost in details. I have questioned and believe that Mr. Peng is the person who pays the most attention to details, so we will not lose. When Mr Peng broke his word for the first time, I made excuses for him. The second time and the third time followed, and I comforted myself in my heart that he was in trouble. I told myself that he was busy when he didn't care about me as much as before. I can't remember how many excuses I made for him, but I was very happy. I don't want to lose my light. But I found that the more I don't want to lose, the farther away he is from me. I once asked my friend if I was too hard, which caused Mr. Peng to stay away from me. I began to doubt myself and endured the injustice to forgive him. I have become more insecure than before, and my inner black box is getting darker and darker.

? I had a big fight with him after drinking, and I told him all my grievances. He just gave me a cold call to have a rest, and then hung up. I went to the hospital for drinking that day. He had no information that day. I know my Bai Yueguang has left my sight, and he is no longer my Bai Yueguang.

My friend asked me if it was worth it. It's worth it, because he once lit up my world and made me really feel the warmth of this world.