Positive energy jokes about insurance

In p>22, the latest insurance companies will host humorous opening remarks! The insurance company will hold an early meeting before starting normal work every working day. Jokes play an important role in active meetings.

The first

Mother: "Obviously, you have been in school for more than three months. Which do you think is easier to learn, Chinese or math?"

Mingming: "I am eager to learn math."

mother: "why?"

Mingming: "Because there are many new words in Chinese, there are only to 9 numbers in mathematics."

On the second day,

the classmate boy looked at the classmate girl, and

he just said: You belong to the middle type of good-looking and ugly.

The girl student was very happy and thought it would be good not to be ugly.

As a result, the classmate boy said faintly: the middle between good-looking and ugly is ugly, and

the classmate girl suddenly ran away!

the third

Xiaoming was not good at math. His parents transferred him to a church school. After half a year, he got straight A's in math. His mother asked, "Did the nun teach him well? Is it a good textbook? Is it a prayer? On the first day of teaching, I saw a man crucified on the plus sign, and I knew ... they were serious!

.......

Fourth

My son invited some classmates to play at home. As an enlightened parent, I regard them as friends and talk about games and life with them.

Later, when I went out to buy vegetables, I heard someone say outside the door, "Your dad is really something, and he finally wants to leave."

the fifth

after watching too many relatives at home, my daughter got mad at dinner at night: you two are really good at acting! My father's relatives praised my mother, and my mother's relatives praised my father, just like a model couple. I just want to ask, why do you both ask me to wash the dishes when there are no guests at home?

4. Walking the dog downstairs, a little girl ran up to the dog and asked me, "Auntie, can you touch the dog?"

......

The sixth item

A: "Xiao Zhao, lend me some money."

b: "I have to discuss it with my wife."

a: "don't you have a wife?"

b: "right, so it's not negotiable."

Seventh

A: Do you want to experience the feeling of being a big official?

B: even in my dreams.

A: that will give you a taste.

B: ok, how to experience it?

A: Ai Qing, make me a pot of tea.

B。 . .

the eighth

I saw my father standing on the balcony and lighting a cigarette, frowning and looking at the dark clouds outside the window. . .

me: Dad, what's the matter?

dad: it's going to rain. . . (gulping a cigarette)

I: . .

Dad: Your mother can't go out for a walk when it rains, and then she will definitely lose all my happy beans. . .

the ninth

when I was a child, I stole my mother's money to buy snacks with my brother and was found.

Mom called us both to repeat the crime.

I pointed to the money and said, Brother, shall we take the money and buy food?

Then he said, "Brother, we can't do this."

Tenth

Walking with my grandfather in the evening, I saw a beautiful woman not far away and couldn't help but look twice. Grandpa turned and asked, Do you like it? I smiled. Wait, grandpa said and strode forward. A few minutes later, my phone rang, and a sweet voice came from the opposite side: hello, is this XX? A grandfather got lost, and now he is near XX Park. Please come quickly.

Eleventh

Youth: Grandpa, why has the price of your steamed stuffed bun gone up?

Grandpa: Because the price of pork has gone up ...

Youth: This is a plain stuffed bun in your house!

Grandpa: Hmm … I love pork …

Twelfth

Two girls in the dormitory stink worse than whose feet. One girl said that if I take off my shoes, you all have to run, and the other girl said that if I take off my shoes, none of you will run.

13th

What's it like to have a boyfriend?

it has become impossible to unscrew the mineral spring water.

14th

What movies tell us that "you won't die if you don't die"?

The Journey to the West-all monsters should be cooked.