Ghost story joke daquan video

First, one day, Wang received a letter at 8: 00 pm, which said: You must wash a bloody dress at 1 1, or your wife will come and let you die. After reading the letter, Wang immediately began to wash it. 1 1: 00, Wang hasn't cleaned up yet, and his wife is back. As soon as Wang's wife entered the room, she said, Do you know why it can't be cleaned? Because you are useless, Diao brand washing powder

The second one: "Please leave me alone, I am an old man, and my meat is sour and not delicious." Zhang Laohan leaned over.

Facing the corner, there was no escape, so the two ghosts had to force them step by step.

"Is it sour?" The male ghost grabbed Zhang Laohan's hand and bit off a piece of meat. Zhang Laohan screamed.

The ghost chewed and chewed, and "pounced" on Zhang Laohan's meat. "Mama of, really sour, so bad, dead old man, you are lucky, get out!"

Zhang Laohan was pardoned. He knocked dozens of heads on the ground. It's better to lose a piece of meat than to die. He was about to leave.

Another female ghost screamed "Stop!"

Male ghost is a bit strange "keep this old thing? Sour and sour, not delicious. "

The female ghost leaned over the male ghost's ear and said, "I want to eat sour."

The male ghost is even stranger. "Why?"

The female ghost poked the male ghost's head with her finger and said shyly

"You are a bad guy, somebody else, somebody else, somebody else is pregnant!"

The third: the mobile phone rang, which was particularly harsh in this silent night. "Who will call at this time?" Xiaoyan, who just got off the night shift, took out her mobile phone from her satchel.

"Hello, who's calling?" No one answered, and a voice like a chainsaw came from the mobile phone. "Who is it? Talk! " Xiaoyan continued to ask, but no one answered. The sound of the chainsaw remains the same. "Stop talking, I'm hanging up!" Xiaoyan is a little angry.

"There are still 2 days!" There was a terrible roar on the phone! My ears are ringing, and the street lamps are flashing. Xiaoyan took a long time to recover. Then I listened to my mobile phone, and the other party had hung up. When I saw the calling number, didn't "5124444" and "5124444" mean "I want you to hurry"?

Xiaoyan tried to dial and the line was busy. Xiaoyan put away her mobile phone and hurried home.

With yesterday's experience, today's road seems to be gloomy and terrible. It was the same place last night, and the phone rang again. Looking down, "5 124444" is yesterday's number.

Xiaoyan's face began to turn pale and her hands trembled. She answered the phone and whispered.

"Hello ...", or the voice of the chainsaw,

"Hello ..." Xiaoyan was very afraid.

"One more day!" A sudden roar on the phone.

"Ah", Xiaoyan let out a scream and ran home as soon as she threw her mobile phone.

Half a month passed, and Xiaoyan, lying in a hospital bed, saw the morning newspaper broadcast such a news:

"A group of criminal suspects obtained the victim's mobile phone number and home address through the Internet, and then used a public magnetic card phone with the number" 5 124444 "to make a horrible phone call to the victim, forcing the victim to throw away his mobile phone in a panic. Their targets are all young women without exception. According to his account, in this way, they illegally acquired the mobile phone 65438+ within one month.

Fourth: He is a famous flower thief, and countless good women have been raped and killed by him.

He was born with yin and yang eyes, and he could see a large group of ghosts following him, all women killed by him, but he was not worried at all. Ghosts are nothing anyway. They can scold him and hate him, but they can't hurt him at all. Seeing that these ghosts tried to jam his neck, bite his flesh, pull his intestines and dig his heart, they could only drill through his body in vain, and he smiled happily.

This time he took a fancy to Zhao's eldest daughter again.

Unexpectedly, this time it was a trap designed by the so-called righteous people in the Jianghu. He fled desperately in front, followed by a large group of ghosts, followed by those chivalrous men with high martial arts.

He entered a Confucius temple, which was dedicated to Confucius. There are two rows of clay sculptures made by scholars beside the altar. He rolled a few times on the ground, grabbed a handful of dirt and incense ashes and applied them thickly on his face, then jumped on the altar, kicked down a scholar's clay sculpture and stood there by himself, motionless and holding his breath.

The knights rushed into the temple.

"What about hooligans?"

"I didn't see it."

"It must be hidden somewhere."

"Search for me"

A group of people rummaged through the temple, but no one noticed the clay sculptures of scholars on the altar. The female ghosts who want revenge stomp their feet in front of the chivalrous men and shout desperately, pointing to the flower pickers posing as clay sculptures on the altar.

Flower thief secretly glad, "wow, ha ha, you female the ghost try screaming and dancing. Those idiots have no eyes and ears. Who can see and hear what you are doing on the phone? Hum, when I escaped today, I asked a Taoist priest to take you all in. "

The chivalrous people found nothing in the temple, and the female ghosts seemed at a loss. Seeing that the chivalrous men were leaving, the female ghosts formed a circle and whispered something.

The flower thief is wondering what tricks these female ghosts are going to play. I saw female ghosts floating in front of him and standing in a row, giving him a sweet smile.

"wow".

The female ghosts all took off their clothes.

A young knight-errant shouted, "Master! Look! This mud man has a nosebleed! "

Fifth: the toilet is haunted.

Chuyang visited the countryside. When chatting with his relatives, they told him that there were ghosts in the toilet here. however

If you don't accept ghosts, ghosts won't hurt you. May be the cause of acclimatization, in the evening, ChuYang into the belly.

The child is in severe pain. No way out, Chu Yang had to bite the bullet and go to the toilet on tenterhooks. Chu Xiang yang bang

Squat down, and then hear the sound of a ghost:

"Red toilet paper or white toilet paper?"

Knowing that ghosts are unacceptable, Chu Yang replied, "I always use newspapers."

It seems that Chu Yangxiang has dysentery. After a while, Chu Yangxiang ran to the toilet again. However, this time,

He's not afraid anymore.

Ghost see ChuYang backward, held out his hand and said:

"Youth Daily or Central Daily?"

"I always use sports newspapers."

In the evening, Chu Yang went to the toilet for the third time.

"Youth sports or central sports?" Asked the ghost.

"... I ... I just want to pee. "

Sixth: There is a taxi driver who works in a taxi company. One night, he was driving through a very desolate land.

Square, surrounded by darkness; Suddenly I saw a building on the wasteland ahead, with dim lights on. He is wondering here.

When such a building was completed, I saw a lady on the roadside waving to take his car home, and the lady sat on it.

After getting off the bus, he closed the door and started driving. After a while, he felt very strange. Why is that young lady?

He didn't say anything, so he looked back in the mirror and saw that there was no miss, only a doll sitting there, scared to death.

I grabbed the doll and threw it out of the window. I was seriously ill for three months after I came home.

...

...

...

...

...

After his illness, he returned to work in a taxi company. As a result, his colleague said to him, "You are really not interesting enough.

A beautiful lady came to complain that she wanted to ride in your car last time, but she just threw the doll in, so you put it in.

The door closed and the car drove away.

Seventh: In the dark night, a person drove by night and passed a cemetery. The breeze blew, and the surrounding sounds rustled, making people feel creepy and numb. Just then, he suddenly found a little red light flashing in the distance. His first thought was "jack-o'-lantern". So he carefully picked up a stone and threw it at the lamp. I saw flames swaying behind another grave. What is even more frightening is that he picked up a stone and threw it at the fire, only to see the light fly to another grave. At this point, he is close to collapse. So he picked up another stone and threw it at the lamp. At this moment, I heard a voice from behind the grave: "Shit, who is it? "Shit is not fun. A bag of cigarettes chopped me three times. "

Eighth: after the Halloween masquerade, two men walked home ... when they passed a cemetery, they wanted to cross it on impulse.

When they were halfway through, they were frightened by the sound of drumming. The sound came from somewhere in the dark. They were so scared that they trembled all over, and then they found an old man digging a tombstone with a chisel. One of them said, "My God. Sir, we thought you were a ghost. What are you doing here so late? " The old man scolded: "* * *, they spelled my name wrong! ! "

Ninth: In a remote village, there is a straight telephone pole on a narrow path. Strange to say, people often have accidents there. Soon a man and a woman were accidentally knocked down by a bicycle and died on the spot. One night, five-year-old Xiao Zhi and her mother passed by on their way home. Xiao Zhi suddenly said, "Mom, there are two people on the telephone pole." Mother took his hand and walked away quickly, saying:

"Don't talk nonsense, son!" But it soon spread. One day, a reporter came to interview Xiao Zhi and asked him to take him to see the place where the car accident happened. Xiao Zhi generously led him, and the reporter asked, "Where is it?" Xiao Zhi pointed to the above. The reporter looked up and saw a sign hanging on the telephone pole, which read: everyone is responsible for traffic safety!

Tenth: Resurrection Ghost

Lazy people wash less, but they don't know how to clean themselves. Walking with the village one night, I couldn't get rid of the ghost in the graveyard, so I waved something. When the ghost saw it, he quickly withdrew. When the village asked what musical instrument it was, the lazy man replied, "smelly socks."