What are the jokes within 70 words?

1. Xiao Lv asked the old donkey: Why do we eat hay every day, while cows eat concentrated feed? The old donkey sighed: we can't compete with others ... we eat by running errands and others eat by breasts!

2. A boy walked up to the girl he liked and said, "You are so beautiful today. You are really like a person. " (Khan! I don't like people at ordinary times)

I hope you like it.

A wolf is looking for food and hears a woman training her child: If you cry again, I will throw you out to feed the wolf!

The child cried all night, and the wolf waited outside until dawn and sighed, liar, women are liars!

It is said that the girls' toilet in the school is occupied, and all the girls go to the toilet by three or four people. Once, a girl saw a spider in the toilet and cried. Seven or eight boys rushed into the ladies' room at once, with sticks, steel pipes, brooms and shovels in their hands … some with shot put, and one with a big stone. Sweat! What the hell do they want? The boy holding the stone also scolded 1: "* * *! Why is this stone so heavy? "

The panda met a kangaroo who came out of the supermarket angrily and asked, "What's the matter? Angry like this? " The kangaroo gasped and said, "Don't let me in, I have to save the bag first!" " "

6. Whenever I encounter difficulties, I will take out my wallet and look at my wife's photo, and then say to myself: What is there to be afraid of? Don't lose heart. Is there anything more difficult than her?

7. A fire broke out in the sutra depository in the temple, burning many precious scriptures, and the abbot burst into tears. The young monk didn't know, thinking that the abbot was ill, he asked: Why did the abbot suffer? The abbot cried, and I have dysmenorrhea!

8. In class, the two boys in the back row:

A: "I curse that your future girlfriend is from our Jiaotong University!" "

B: "I curse your future girlfriend in our class! ! ! "

9.MM looked for Tsinghua and got lost. Fortunately, I met a gentle professor with some thick books in his arms. Excuse me, how can I get to Tsinghua University? The professor pondered for a while and said earnestly, "Study, you can only go to Tsinghua if you continue to study hard."

10. The only girl in the department came to watch the basketball game. Suddenly, the MM skirt was blown by the strong wind, and the foreign boy shouted, "God, spring is missing!" " "The boy in the department said with a calm face," Come on, this is dirty clothes! "!

1 1. It is said that no female fans want to hug him at the scene. He joked that hugs cost money and there must be a time limit. Just a moment. One hundred dollars a second. As a result, a movie fan immediately shouted at the bottom: "Everybody get out of the way, I will pay for the moon!" "

12. Watch TV at home and put it in the Forbidden City. I just said "* *"-I didn't dare to say anything for a long time. I wonder what my parents and sister are thinking.

13. A male colleague held his head and said to everyone in annoyance, "Do you think all children like to stick to their mothers? My boy, who has just learned to speak, has learned to call me mom, but he won't call me mom. "

14. Eat in a star-rated hotel. Before eating, the waiter handed everyone a hot towel with high temperature disinfection. A male colleague took it, wiped his face, then closed his eyes and said intoxicated, "It's nice and warm. It's so comfortable to wipe his face! " After he finished speaking, he laughed a table full of people.

15. My son didn't study well and was scolded by his mother. After being scolded, the son looked at his father with sad eyes and said, "Why did you marry her?"

Dad also looked at his son with sad eyes and said, "It's not because of you."

16.jane doe sang K, but she couldn't remember what she was singing at that time. All she remembers is that she was so excited with the microphone that she sang the lyrics: "If I wake up in early spring, my mother urges me to get married, as if I can't wait any longer ..." From then on, everyone will ask her: Early spring classmate, who are you going to marry today?

17. In the new semester, a new book will be published. The female teacher pointed to the tallest gay man and said, "This male classmate, come with me to the reference room to move new books." His male classmate replied: "My mother told me that if men and women are in the same room, the boys will lose!" " "The whole class laughed.

18. Some people don't even know their neighbors, but they are extremely concerned about whether there are aliens in the world.

19. On the subway, suddenly a buddy's cell phone rang loudly: "Grandpa, that grandson called you again ... Grandpa, that grandson called you again ..." Only the buddy took out his cell phone and slowly answered: "Hey, Dad, what's up ..."

20. A leader came to inspect and kindly said to a colleague who was typing, "Well done, don't worry, take your time! The most important thing is: fast! "