After raising the baby, my husband became a pig teammate!

I can always hear mothers vomit: on the way to parenting, my husband is his own pig teammate.

Whether it's eating, drinking, sleeping or raising children, it's always useless, or it's holding you back.

Take my Buddhist husband as an example. From pregnancy to parenting, his state is: okay, okay, whatever.

For him, the first thing for all kinds of children is a stone that stirs up thousands of waves.

For example, pregnant for more than four months, there is fetal movement. The first time I let him touch my stomach to feel the fetal movement, he finished touching it, said "hmm" and turned to play with his mobile phone.

How many months is the fetus? What are the interesting changes? What should we pay attention to ... he doesn't know anything, but it's not in his stomach.

However, there are also "other people's husbands" who are always very powerful.

When the wife is pregnant, she doesn't have to move anything, and her husband does everything properly, even without thinking, because her husband has studied it clearly. You just eat and sleep, it's time to "unload".

The gap between this husband and other husbands is not as big as the general gap.

Why?

In addition to the personality differences between husbands, there is another key factor: the wife. In other words, the husband who vomited for a long time actually vomited himself?

That's right!

If you are dissatisfied with your husband, please consider the following two questions.

First of all, you chose your husband. You should not only choose his height and thinness, but also his personality, character and potential, right?

Secondly, are you offside in family relations without knowing it?

The first question, if the answer is no, please help yourself.

The second question, what can I do to know that I am offside? Let's focus on talking.

If you find that you are in charge of all the big and small things in your family, especially when you need your husband's help to raise a child, you can't and won't help. You should reflect on whether you have surpassed your husband's role as a father in family relations.

Many men will really become fathers on the day they become fathers, and more men feel at a loss.

Because when the child is in the mother's belly, it has been ten months of emotional and physical contact. Under congenital conditions, the mother already feels more like a "parent" than her father.

However, most dads can't experience the true feeling of fatherhood, because their wives don't like the clumsiness when they are first fathers, or because their wives "occupy" all the parent-child time. Slowly, the new father changed from "incompetence" to "dereliction of duty".

Therefore, in the matter of a man being a father, his mother needs to deliberately "cultivate" and help him "consolidate his position".

Give you five suggestions to help your husband become a qualified "father" and turn his pig teammate into a good teammate.

1 / ? Share your feelings and let your husband learn how to get along with children under his own influence.

When children are very young, they don't know much about interaction. Father usually doesn't know how to get along with this "strange" little guy at home. In the process of taking care of the baby, the mother can share the little record of the child's growth and change with her father, or share some parenting ideas that she feels very much agree with her father, and invite him to discuss the child's growth and education together.

Let dad feel the sense of mission, responsibility and happiness brought by his children through the influence of his mother, so that he is willing to participate in the process of parenting.

2 / ? Assign reasonable small tasks at the right time.

? You can't do everything yourself just because your husband doesn't know how to raise children. Timely assign some small tasks that her husband is absolutely capable of starting, so that her husband has a sense of participation in parenting. ?

For example, if the child's birthday comes, let the husband choose a gift for the child. As for what gift to choose, the husband has to decide for himself. In this process, even if the husband buys a dress casually, he should know the height and weight of the child, so naturally he needs to know more about the child.

3 / ? Establish a "tall" father image in front of children.

? Maybe the husband is always busy and spends little time with the children at home, but you can't say, "Dad is a workaholic, and Dad doesn't love you as much as Mom ..." Even if you are very dissatisfied with your husband's role as "Dad", you should keep a positive image of your father in front of the children. Let children accept their fathers and even be proud of them. When children have a sense of worship for their father, once they have the opportunity to get along, they will soon establish a good atmosphere. ?

I remember a short story: when the baby is mumbling to learn a language, the mother teaches the child to learn to call "dad" first, so when the child can call "dad", naturally everything will be "dad, dad". Although it is a small joke, in fact, secrets complement each other.

4 / ? Play a "supporting role" in the parent-child time between the child and the father.

? When children have the opportunity to be with their father, they can first guide their father and children to start the game, and then silently quit the game, so that they can have a complete "father-son time." For example, when dad comes home, I will suggest Qiqi take out his gun and play war games with dad, and then pretend to be busy with other things. Let the father and son give full play first. ?

Of course, when they have been able to have a good habit of interaction, at their invitation, mothers can also join their interactive games, but they should always play a "supporting role" and let their children interact with their fathers as much as possible.

5 / ? In the process of getting along with father and son, we should respect father, regardless of whether his actions are reasonable or not.

? Even if it is inappropriate, it can't be corrected immediately. You should find the right opportunity to put forward your own views when you are alone, and communicate with your husband to reach an agreement. Also remember to praise her husband's "father" role on different occasions, recognize his efforts and contributions in parent-child relationship, and let her husband gain more motivation and perform better in parent-child relationship.

I agree with one sentence: If others make you feel uncomfortable, please change yourself. Because it is you who are uncomfortable, it is difficult for the other party to change themselves because you are uncomfortable.

When the child is one year old, the husband doesn't know how to get along with the child at all, even as if the child never existed in his life. I reflect: because everything I do is for the children, I always scold him when he clumsily tries to show it in front of the children.

While playing my husband's father role with maternal love, I kept complaining about her husband's "dereliction of duty" and even the children made it clear: I don't want a father! I don't like dad.

Husband is more and more at a loss, more and more retreat, and even several family crises broke out.

Until one day I woke up and began to learn to help "pig teammates" grow up, give more tolerance and guidance, and let "pig teammates" have the opportunity to learn.

Today, children's fathers are: powerful, magical, interesting and omnipotent. In my mind, my husband can be body double in the process of raising children, and he can be a good teammate who can go hand in hand to raise children.

When you feel that there is something wrong with your family relationship, don't complain about the unhappiness brought by other members, but actively try to change, starting with changing your attitude and behavior, affecting family members, thus improving the family atmosphere.

May we achieve better ourselves on the road of child-rearing and firmly control the secret of happiness.