Somebody tell us some jokes. If you want to have fun ... if we laugh, I will give you extra points.

Lei Feng has a school where men's and women's toilets are adjacent, and a girl forgot to bring toilet paper when she went to the toilet. At this time, a roll of paper was handed in next door, which scared the girl's face and asked, "Who is it?" A male voice replied, "Lei Feng."

The real reason is that the teacher said, "A fool's question can't be answered by ten smart people." The student said, "No wonder I always fail the exam."

In class, the teacher made a sentence for everyone to do. Requirements include religion, royalty, * * * and mystery. A classmate was the first to answer correctly. His sentence is: my god, the queen is pregnant. Who did this? He is a big friend who teaches in a primary school. He is tall and dignified, but he stammers when he is nervous. When he invigilated, he found that some students cheated. He angrily pointed at the cheating students and shouted, "You … you … you … you … you … you … you … you … you … you dare to cheat, stand up for me!" ! "After that, nine students stood up. In class, the female teacher asked, "Give me freedom or let me die. Who did this famous saying first come from?

Please raise your hand if you know. After a long time, Yamamoto, a freshman from Japan, replied in broken English: "1775, said by Butrick Henry." "Very well, then, who said' by the people, by the people and for the people'?" "1863, abraham lincoln said." That's right, classmate It was a Japanese student who answered the question just now, but the students who grew up in America couldn't answer it. What a pity! ""Kill the Japanese? "There was a strange cry in the classroom." Who! Who said that! "The female teacher flushed with anger. Yamamoto immediately replied: "1945, President Truman said." At this time, someone whispered: "This? * * * Star Shuo copy? Bang? Hey? Rubber toad? By who? "Well, who said that! ? ""199 1, George Bush said when he met with the Japanese Prime Minister. " Yamamoto replied. Another student patted the table and smiled: "Yes! You are so fucking energetic. " "1997, Bill Clinton told Lansky." The class was in chaos, and some students shouted at Yamamoto: You shit, I'll fuck you if you dare to speak again.

Put it down. ""200 1, Gary condit told Revy. (Note: White House intern Revy was murdered in Watson on 200 1.

Dunn. Her ex-boyfriend condit was arrested as a suspect. The female teacher fainted to the ground and the students formed a circle around her. A student said, "Shit, we are in big trouble this time." "In 2002, arthur anderson said." Yamamoto immediately replied.

(Note: Arthur Anderson, one of the top five accounting firms in the United States, went bankrupt in 2002 due to the Enron scandal.)

A famous writer was invited to give a speech. At the end of the speech, the writer invited the audience and guests to ask questions. Unexpectedly, the writer received a note that said "asshole". The writer paused for a moment, then smiled and said, "Usually, the notes I receive only write questions, not names. And this note only wrote the name, but forgot to write the question! The signature on the note is' asshole'. "

Learn from American law schools and one day take the criminal law exam. The first question the professor asked the students was: "What is the crime of fraud?" A student replied, "if you don't let me take the exam, it's fraud." The professor was very surprised. "How do you explain? Which student can answer this question? A student said: "According to the criminal law, anyone who uses the ignorance of others to make others suffer losses is fraud. "The teacher frowned and asked a truant student," Why did you skip class? " The student replied sweetly: "I suddenly found myself handsome in the morning, so I looked in the mirror all day and found myself really handsome." "

Who is farting in self-study class? Xiao Juan accidentally farted. The students all turned their heads, and Ah Tian, who had a crush on her, said, I'm sorry, I let go. After a while, Xiao Juan couldn't help letting go. Xiao Du, who had a crush on her, was busy defending her: Since everyone is so happy, I'll join in the fun. However, Xiao Juan later released another one, when someone asked: Who released this? At the same time, Peng, who secretly loves her and likes her more, stood up and said, I let her go. Then he pointed to Xiao Juan and said, "From now on, her fart belongs to me!" ! Being a pair of teachers and students always like being a pair. One day, Mr. Wang looked up at the sky and walked out of the first part. "It doesn't rain when it snows, and it turns into rain when it reaches the ground. It is more troublesome to turn into rain. It is better to rain at the beginning. " The student replied, "Mr. Wang doesn't eat shit when he eats, but it becomes shit when he eats." It's more troublesome to turn into shit. It's better to eat shit from the beginning. How to write "dung": How to write "dung"? "The teacher thought for a moment:" Hey. . . . . . Shit, shit, shit, it's on my lips. Why can't you get out? "Amazing move. In class.

A boy sitting next to me looked at the teacher from time to time with an expectant expression on his face. His hand hesitated to raise, put down and raise. Finally, the teacher found him. "This classmate, do you have any questions?" The boy blushed and said, "May I use the toilet once in a while? I have a stomachache. " Of course, the teacher said yes, which is human nature. I only saw that the boy immediately bounced up from his seat and walked quickly to the door of the classroom. Just as he walked to the front of the platform, he suddenly stopped and shouted, "I can't help it!" " ! ! ! "Then split your legs, bend your knees, and do a half squat. Abdominal strength, facial pain, and mouth "hmm" from time to time. . . Yes . . 。” Gasps. Finally, he took a long breath, stood up, turned around and faced everyone with a comfortable expression on his face. Before everyone recovered from the surprise just now, I accomplished another feat in my life. He carefully put his hand into his pants, fiddled with his ass, then slowly pulled it out and put it in front of his nose, smelling it intoxicated. A hand full of khaki semi-liquid objects mixed with unknown particles. Half the students fainted at once. Then I slowly put my hand to my mouth and spit out my "sweet lips". I licked the object in my hand carefully, didn't I? * * * Wei Kang? Step on it? Wen Yu? Later, I learned that I put a plastic bag in my pants all my life, which contained peanut butter (still coarse).

The whole class started fighting (the teacher didn't stop it), and many people vowed never to eat peanut butter again in their lives.

One of my sister's students took part in an impromptu speech, and the topic was "My sister". His opening remarks immediately attracted everyone: when my sister spoke, she was ecstatic when she saw the food, and she fell in love with me and asked heaven and earth to borrow money from me. Now she is finally married, which is really "thank goodness". In the social class before forgiveness, the teacher asked the students, "Now who will tell me what we should do before being forgiven?" After a silence, a student stood up and said, "We should commit a crime before being forgiven!" " "A young teacher just told a little boy in her class a story about a sheep that was eaten by a wolf because it left the flock." Look, "she said," if this sheep is honest and doesn't leave the flock, it won't be eaten by wolves, right? " "Yes, teacher. The little boy replied, "but we ate it later." "

Teacher: "What do you mean by' draw the tiger out of the mountain'?" Student: "For example, during the exam, the principal suddenly called the teacher out of the classroom, which is called' transferring the tiger on the mountain'."

In the class of four MINUS four, the teacher asked Afandi, "Nas Reldin, how much is left after four MINUS four?" Two generations of love did not answer. "For example, there are four dollars in your pocket, and these four dollars fall out of your pocket again. What's left in the pocket? " The teacher was inspired again. "What's left?" Avanti thought for a long time and said, "After the money is dropped, there is only one hole left."

The late dialogue teacher in the classroom: "You finally came! Why didn't you come to class yesterday? Student: Because, because, my mother fell down the stairs. Teacher: Oh! I see. Mom was hurt, so you didn't come. Student: "No ... my father was injured ..." Teacher: "Why did your mother fall down the stairs and your father was injured? Student: "Because .. my dad has a woman outside .." Teacher: "What? .. what does that have to do with your mother falling down the stairs? " Student: "because they were fighting .. my mother fell down and my father was injured by my mother." Teacher: Oh ... So you didn't come to class because you took dad to the hospital? Student: No, the woman outside sent my dad. Teacher: Then why didn't you come to class? Student: Because I overslept .. Teacher: What does that have to do with your mother falling down the stairs! ? Student: "No ... I just mentioned by the way ..." Teacher (spraying blood ...)

The teacher talks about the characteristics and uses of man-made fibers in class. He asked a student, "What makes nylon stockings elastic?" "thighs!" The students answered loudly in unison.

Embarrassed headmaster in Germany, the school is getting bigger and bigger. So many principals insist that it is an honor to remember the names of children who have studied in their school. At another party, a headmaster recognized one of his former students: "Oh, you are Lerwill Miller. Are you in the sixth grade of 1964? " "Exactly, Mr. President." The young man said. "You see, I have never forgotten my students." The headmaster proudly said, "So, where do you work now?" The young man blushed: "I am a teacher in your school now, Mr. President."