There is a complete set of jokes there.

Examiner: What education?

Candidate: I didn't graduate from primary school.

Examiner: Have you ever been in a fight?

Candidate: This is the usual practice.

Examiner: Do you have a criminal record?

Candidate: Just came out.

Examiner: What about physical fitness?

Candidate: Not bad. You can kick over the peddler's tricycle with one foot.

Examiner: Dare to take other people's things?

Examinee: This is my strong point, just like taking my own things.

Examiner: Does the old man dare to fight?

Candidate: Cai Xiao, my father crippled me.

Examiner: You passed the exam. What our urban management needs is talents like you!

Examiner: One more question. What if something happens?

Candidate: Just say it's a temporary worker.

Examiner: Work tonight.

2. One day on the bus, a man and a woman collided because of the crowd.

The fashionable girl turned around and said, "Are you sick?"

Confused, the man replied, "Do you have any medicine?"

The people in the car snickered!

The woman felt very angry and replied, "Are you mentally ill?"

The man said coldly, "Can it be cured?"

The whole car is hilarious!

The bus driver stopped to lie on the steering wheel and laugh!

Second:

The bus was very crowded, and a woman stood at the door.

A GG pushed from the back of the car to get off and said to the woman, "Sorry, get off."

The woman didn't move.

GG stepped on her when she pushed over.

As a result, the woman was too powerful and kept scolding: "You are crazy! You're crazy! ~ ~ ",loud enough for the whole car to watch.

GG hasn't spoken. When he got off the bus, he couldn't bear it. He turned to the woman and said, "Repeater!"

There are some funny children in the back who have been playing the scene just now.

A said, "You are crazy! ............................... "B" said, "You repeat the machine, and you .............................................."

The whole car burst into laughter ~!

Later, a little MM also got off the bus, squeezed past and said timidly, "I ~ I ~ I want to go down, I'm not crazy ~!" "

The whole car laughed again ~!

The woman didn't speak, and a word came from the side: "Are you out of power?"

The whole car is laughing ~!

3. Confucius said; Hit with bricks, don't play around! Press the head! Whether you die or not!

Buddha said; Bullshit! I am kind! Stop playing! A brick is dead! ! !

On Monday, I got on the bus with nothing but 1 yuan. Sitting from the starting point to the finish line, I feel very calm all the way. But when I got off at the terminal, I found a note in my pants: "An adult goes out without anything, and it's no shame to lose it." - "

On Tuesday, I took a broken wallet with 1 cent in it. When I arrived at the terminal, I found that the money was still there, and a note was stuffed in my wallet: "We are not beggars, please don't insult our profession. - "

On Wednesday, I still broke my wallet, which contained counterfeit money of 100. When I arrived at the terminal, I found that the money was still there, and a note was stuffed in my wallet: "It is illegal to hide large face value * *, please consciously turn it over to the relevant departments. - "

On Thursday, I took an envelope containing a stack of overdue Straits Got Talent. When I arrived at the terminal, I found the envelope was still there. I took out the newspaper and read it. The newspaper was replaced by the latest straits talent newspaper. 1 Remarks: "Now is the consulting era. Only by updating information in time can we seize the opportunity and win success! - "

On Friday, I put a toy mobile phone in my pocket. After arriving at the terminal, the mobile phone was still there, and there was an extra note: "Please don't make such jokes, which will affect the normal work of our company. - "

On Saturday, I took a toy pistol and stuck it in my waist. When I arrived at the terminal, I found that the gun was gone and a note was stuffed in my pants: "I hate you robbers most, you have no technical content at all!" " Confiscate the tools of crime! - "

On Sunday, I was about to get on the bus, and there were too many people to squeeze in. When waiting for the next bus, I felt in my pocket and found that there was an extra 20 yuan, and there was a note: "Brother, our business is not easy this day. This is 20 yuan. You can take a taxi to where you want to go, please don't mess with us. "

6. One day, there were too many people on the bus, which was very hot and boring. I don't know who farted, which made the environment worse. My friend can't stand it, and I don't know who it is. I can't help it It happened that the conductor was asking, "Who didn't buy a ticket?" My friend suddenly had a plan and said loudly, "Fart didn't buy a ticket!" " Suddenly, a particularly fat woman, holding the ticket high in her hand, said loudly, "I have bought the ticket!" "

7. A sculpture was completed in the new building of a university: a girl held a book in her left hand and a dove symbolizing peace in her right hand. Publicly soliciting names from off-campus students, many people's slogans coincide-reading is a bird's best!

9. The school bike is badly lost. The new car disappears in the blink of an eye, but sometimes with luck, the lost bike will appear again every few days. One day, my roommate Xiao Jing bought a new transmission car. She showed off to everyone and said, "I locked this car with the latest lock!" " The next day, Xiao Jing came back from self-study at night and looked depressed. He still holds a piece of paper in his hand, which reads: Don't be the owner here, I borrowed the car, and I'll pay you back in a few days!

A few days later, the thief really returned the car. Xiao Jing is very happy, but she is worried that the car will be "borrowed" again. He bought ten big locks, locked the car tightly, and put a note on the thief: See how you "borrow"! When Xiao Jing went downstairs the next morning, she found five more locks on the car, and there was a note on the lock: See how you ride!

10, there are three tadpoles. They went to a restaurant for dinner ... and waited for a while. The first course was fried frogs. ..

Three tadpoles sang in unison: I don't want to grow up. ...

1 1 One day, Cao Cao arrested Liu Bei, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei. Cao Cao said to the three of them: each of you is going to the orchard to choose a fruit. After a while, Zhang Fei took out an apple. Cao Cao said, if they can put the fruit in their ass, let them go. Zhang Fei tried for a while without success and was killed. After a while, Guan Yu came out with three grapes and Cao Cao said the same thing to him. Guan Yu started stuffing things ... when he stuffed the third one, Guan Yu suddenly smiled, and as a result, he smashed the grapes and was killed. After going to the underworld, the prince asked Guan Yu, "You are so stupid, why are you laughing?" "If you don't laugh, you won't die," Guan Yu said with a sigh. I don't want to! Jealous beauty! When I stuffed the third one, I suddenly saw Brother Liu coming out with a durian ... "

12, I went to eat KFC yesterday. The man behind me looks like a couple. Seeing that they ordered a lot of food, they sat next to me. After sitting down, the girls began to eat hard, as if they were hungry for several days, while the boys chewed French fries one by one, as if they had something on their mind.

Suddenly, the boy put down the French fries, leaned down and asked seriously, "Qingqing, can I chase you?" "

Without looking up, the girl said directly, "No!"

The boy asked again, "Is it completely impossible?"

The girl simply said, "Not at all!"

The boy froze, looked straight at her and stayed there …

At that time, the girl was holding a chicken leg in one hand and a hamburger in the other. She thought that the boy was watching her, so she stopped eating, then looked at the boy with poor eyes and whispered, "So ... can I still eat?" "

Everyone around me, including me, laughed out loud. The boy was helpless and said, "Eat, eat ..."

This MM is so cute ... if I don't let it go, I must chase it ... desperately! ! ! !

13, I have been very restless at school. I taught myself for the first time when I was a freshman. I was depressed sitting in the classroom, and then I ran to the aisle to smoke.

Not long after I lit a cigarette, a girl from PL came over and asked me, "I'm studying by myself now! How did you get out? "

I said, I'm bored by smoking, MM Which class are you in? How also ran out.

PLMM pointed to our classroom and said, that class!

At that time, I was so excited to say, are we in the same class? What, are you depressed?

She said: well, a freshman in our class ran out from self-study and I came out to find him.

I smiled, it seems that someone still can't sit still. What do you want from him? You're not his mother!

MM: I can't help it I'm his head teacher!

I was cheated then ...

A minute later, I choked up and said, Teacher, you look so young …

14 dad is a worker in a glass factory and has the habit of working with gloves.

One night shift, he took a taxi home. When the car passed a small forest in the suburbs, a cool breeze blew. Dad felt a little cold, so he took the glove strap out of his pocket. The driver saw it in the rearview mirror and asked cautiously, "Brother, what are you doing?"

"Oh, nothing, I'm used to it. I always wear gloves when I work, so I won't cut myself and leave any marks ... "

15 A middle-aged man went to a local private hotel on business.

When eating the night before, the middle-aged man saw several stains on the edge of the dish, which made him uneasy.

He asked the hotel owner, "This dish looks dirty." The boss replied, "Don't worry, mineral water will make it clean."

Hearing this answer, middle-aged people began to eat with peace of mind.

A week passed, middle-aged people ate in the hotel every day, and met a big dog in the hotel.

When leaving, the middle-aged man stepped out of the gate, and the dog reluctantly caught up with him, clinging to him and not letting him leave.

Seeing this, the hotel owner went up to the dog and patted it on the head. He said softly, "Let the guests go, mineral water."

The hunter hunted and saw two birds in the tree. He shot down one with a gun and found it hairless. Just wondering, another bird flew down and cursed the hunter: Damn, I just coaxed her to take off her clothes, and you shot her down. . .

17 There is a parrot hanging in front of the hotel. When a guest arrives, he says, "Hello, welcome!" A regular customer thought, I'll go in quickly and see how you react. One day he ran in and the parrot said, "Damn it! You scared me! ! ! "

18 A child in the delivery room smiled after birth. The midwife was very surprised. When she gathered around to observe, she found that the child's fist was clenched. After breaking it, she found that it was an abortion pill. She only heard the child say: He *! Do you want to kill me? It's not that easy! !

19 After the performance, the leader took the stage to hold the beautiful Mongolian actress's hand and asked her name. The actress said excitedly, Maragabi

20 stops are higher and you can see farther; Clear water means no fish, while lowly people are invincible! Go your own way and let others take a taxi. Wear other people's shoes and let others find out.

2 1 what is depression? Just hit more than 30 people, hugged a handful of hemp, stole a wallet, and my wife ran away with someone. I still smell sour porridge at home. As soon as my eyes turned, the ambulance went to the hospital and fell into the ditch!

Moon cakes fall in love with steamed bread and pursue it desperately. Steamed bread swears to death. The moon cake is sad: (Hong Kong accent) What is this for? Steamed bread: My mother said that your stomach is full of huahuachangzi.

One day, hens were flying around on the roof, and the owner said angrily, "Come down, or I'll kill all the cocks here and make your life hell." The hen smiled and said, "Finally, we can find the duck."

An American, a Frenchman and an China were walking in the desert when they saw a bottle. After opening the cork, a man came out. The man said, "I am a fairy, and I can grant each of you three wishes!" " Americans first said, "My first wish is to ask for a lot of money." The fairy said, "it's very simple, it satisfies you!" Tell me about the second wish. " The American said, "I want a lot of money!" " After the fairy fulfilled his wish, the American said his third wish: "Take me home." The fairy said, "No problem." "So the United States

Americans come back to America with a lot of money. The fairy asked the Frenchman again. The Frenchman said, "I want beautiful women!" " "The fairy gave him a beautiful woman. The Frenchman said, "I want more beautiful women!" ""The fairy also satisfied him and gave him a beautiful woman. The Frenchman finally said, "Send me back to France." After the fairy sent the Frenchman back to China, she asked the China people what they wanted. China people said, "Let's have a bottle of Erguotou first." The fairy gave it to him. Ask him what his second wish is. China people said, "Another bottle of Erguotou!" The fairy asked him what his third wish was. China said, "I miss China and Americans very much. Please get them all back. " France and the United States are very popular, but they are helpless, so the three of them have to continue to walk. Walking, I saw another bottle. When I opened the plug, another man came out. The man said, "I am the younger brother of the fairy just now. My magic is not as strong as his. I can only satisfy two wishes of each of you." The French and Americans think it's better to let China speak first, so as not to be brought back by him later. So China people said, "Let's have a bottle of Erguotou first." The fairy realized his wish. The French and Americans urged China people to express their second wish as soon as possible. After drinking Erguotou, China people slowly said to the immortal, "Good.

All right, it's okay. Go away. "An American, a Japanese and a China are exploring in the jungle. As a result, they were all arrested by cannibal tribes. But the tribal leader said, "I'm in a good mood today. I won't eat you, but you all have to get a hundred boards, but you can have a wish come true before you get a board." "Americans are the first to get the board. He said, "Before hitting the board, put 1 mat on my ass." Mats, boards rained down; In the past, 70 boards were ok. After the 70-board back cushion was smashed and there was blood on the board ... America always left. When the Japanese saw this, they asked for a 10 mattress. After 1, 2, 3 ... 100, the Japanese got up and patted their ass, nothing happened; Then he boasted about his imitation ability and re-creation ability with a smelly mouth, and wanted to sit in a Chinese drama. China people slowly get down and say slowly, "Come on, give me the Japanese mat." ... 1, the worst dream when I was a child. The worst dream when I was a child was that I was looking for the toilet. The most terrible thing is that the toilet was discovered before people woke up. . .

2. There is a problem in Chinese, which is to write a four-word phrase. The radical capital of each word is the same as that of uppercase, and it is required that each word cannot be repeated. My first reaction was a ghost, but unfortunately I couldn't write a word. I held back for a long time and wrote "Playing with Glass Balls" ... Rivers and lakes, harps and pipa, rough waves, so many words ... I played with glass balls ... At that time, I felt that Peking University could not want me! !

3. Kindergarten wants to go to primary school. Because I heard that there is no need to take a nap in primary school. Elementary school wants to go to junior high school. Because I heard you don't have to sit with your hands behind your back. Junior high school wants to go to high school. Because I heard that high school teachers can't manage east and west. High school wants to go to college. Because I heard that there is a lot of free time in college. The university wants to work. Because I heard there was no class at work. After work, I found that kindergarten is easier to mix. . . 4. Yesterday, I reviewed Blue's classic All Rise, and my girlfriend looked contemptuous in the prelude: Damn it, you still listen to Phoenix Legend. .........

After Gaddafi was arrested, he made a hullabaloo about. He has been repeating a sentence: I am fake, I am fake. The soldier was convinced and asked: Where is it really? Gaddafi said something that he regretted all his life: "It's really in China". The soldier's face was silent. He raised his gun and aimed it at Gaddafi. He said, "There is nothing real in China!

6. User of Erqi Road Forum: The docking of Shenzhou-8 and Tiangong-1 will be completed successfully, because China has always been at the advanced level in the world in rear-end collision.

7. The boss said to his wife: Eat! Sleep! Say to your lover: have a meal and sleep. Say to mistress: eat and sleep. Say to the beauty: eat, sleep and sleep. Say to Xiaomi: Eat and sleep. Say to the staff: what to eat! Sleep what! All overtime!

8, the hero, was abolished by the beauty; Beauty, wasted by big money; Handsome guy, abandoned by rich woman; Life was ruined by mortgage; Youth is wasted by work; Marriage was abolished by San Xiao; Students are wasted by online games; Online games were abolished by violence; Children abandoned by Sanlu; My Lord, it was abolished by Shuanghui; Faith was abolished by Brother Chun; Aesthetics was abolished by Xifeng; Xifeng, abandoned by the moon; Dreams have been abandoned by reality.

It is said that the final exam is still far away. I hope the students will take surprise attack as the main task, supplemented by cheating: take the policy of teachers entering Tibet, teachers withdrawing their copies, and fighting in a roundabout way! Send you a couplet: If you don't cheat in the exam, you'd rather fail in your junior year next year than fail without personality. Horizontal criticism: I have to die. The necessary skills for the exam are three long and one short, and the shortest choice; Three short and one long choose the longest; Choose b for different lengths; If it is not uniform, choose d. Taking copying as the main task, supplemented by Mongolia, and combining Mongolia with copying, we will certainly be able to pass.

10, having sex with a woman for free is a one-night stand. Spending 300 yuan to have sex with a woman is whoring. Spending 0.2 million/200 thousand on sex with a woman, raising a lover or loading N milk and having sex with a woman with her life savings is husband and wife. This shows that the more money you spend, the more stable the relationship between men and women!

1 1, the high number gives me the feeling that this fucking card still works! Two: How the fuck is this proved? Three: You can fucking prove it!

12, when we were young, we were always deceived by our parents that we found it in the trash can, so most people just laughed. My cousin has always been said by my parents to be picked up. I asked my grandparents, and they all said they picked it up. Everyone thinks it's funny to make fun of him. Until one day, when the whole family was eating, he suddenly knelt down and cried and thanked his parents for letting him live a good life without begging. From then on, the family never joked about it again.

13, during the break, I saw a classmate touching his abdomen with one hand, holding his forehead with the other hand, and closing his eyes like a thinker ... There was a math book on the desk ... I was curious at that time, so I looked carefully, but the classmate said to me, "Brother, can you lend me a piece of toilet paper?"

14, wife: I am better than you in all aspects, but I am not as good as you. Dave: What's worse than me? Wife: My spouse is not as good as yours.

15, the goose asked the goose, "Why do you call your father Huang Ama?" The goose said to the gosling, "Because I am your mother goose."

16, a young man proposed to a girl, and the girl said, "But we have only known each other for three days. Do you know me? " The young man quickly said, "Yes, yes, I have known you for a long time." "Really?" "Yes, I worked in a bank for three years. I know how much money your father has. "

17, one night, I missed my boyfriend so much that I called his cell phone and turned it off, so I sent a short message to his roommate. Me: Is my boyfriend there? -roommate replied: he fell asleep. Me: Oh, do me a favor, punch him in the left and right face, and then say good night for me, ok? After a while, my boyfriend called me. I'm curious: first, why did you wake up? Boyfriend: My dormitory was very obedient and slapped me in the face. ...

18, a student who meets the application conditions applied for a financial aid for poor students, but was rejected because of arrears in tuition fees. The reason why poor students are rejected to apply for poverty allowance is poverty.

19, friend a lost her mobile phone some time ago, so she took a knockoff machine that her mother had eliminated before and used it first. It is big and ugly. One day, I was shopping and walked around casually. Suddenly, a man approached me timidly and asked, Do you know that man just now? Confused: huh? What person? . Passerby A: Oh, I just saw him take your mobile phone out of the bag and put it back. I thought you knew each other. . A: Exactly. . . The students went to the school cafeteria to eat and found that the pork chops were not very fresh. They went to the chef who cooked the dishes and said, "Master, I found that the pork chops this week were not as delicious as last week." The master said, "nonsense, this is last week's pork chop!" " "

An old lady withdrew all her savings in the savings office and re-deposited it after a quarter of an hour. The clerk asked her puzzled what it was. The old lady said angrily, I want to count how much money I have. Not allowed?

An elderly actor said to the theater manager, "sir, I have worked here for 25 years." Can you consider improving my treatment? "

"No problem, whenever I need to eat on the stage in the future, I will see a beautiful woman sitting in my position when I get on the plane. So I asked a gentleman, are you from 36A? Mm blushed and answered: I … I'm from 36B … I'm sweating: I mean my seat is near the window 36A!

Let you play a male classmate on a business trip to a place, a female classmate goes to see him, and they talk about their salary. The gay man asked, "How much do you pay after tax?" "Female classmate face a red, whispered:" what money to sleep with old classmates, you sleep first, I'll take a shower. "Force me again, and then force me to play dead for you!

There are so many people who look down on me. Who are you?

Give it to me and don't worry, there's nothing wrong with it!

4. relax, I'm not a good person ...

5. How dare I charge you if you don't thank me!

6. Don't tell me to bring it on-I have two generations of love!

7. If you ignore me, I will be a dog!

8. When will there be a bright moon? Ask Yi Zhongtian!

9. You can't reach it. Try stepping on your right foot with your left foot.

10. Some people are alive and she is dead. Some people are alive, and he should have died!

1 1. You said ... Do you like me? Actually ... first of all ... actually, I also ... I told you, actually, I like myself.

12. Do you drink water, drink water or drink water? You choose!

13. Hey, say what should be said and whisper what shouldn't be said.

14. Zi once said: Don't take my tolerance for you as your shameless capital!

15. Don't think I'm unattainable just because I'm handsome. In fact, I am a sea of rivers.

16. Today the weather is fine, windy and rainy.

17. As a typical failure, you really succeeded!

18. Two heads are better than one.

19. In this golden autumn of red leaves and maple leaves, ...

20. If you bother me again, I'll tie you to a straw boat and borrow an arrow!

2 1. The wind is rustling and the water is cold. Pay back the money you owe!

22. A: Where to eat? I am broke. B: Let's eat out. My treat.

23. A: Without revenge, it is difficult to swallow this evil spirit. How can I let you die?

24. There is a saying in Shushan. Go ahead and learn from the sea.

25. The world belongs to us and our sons, but in the end it belongs to our grandchildren.

26. How much is this pair of shoes?

27. I was really blind at first ... Be happy ~ I was too nervous at work ~ ~ ~ Change my mind ~ ~ ~

28. I have a good background, and I only have a back.

29. I am not a fortune teller in the square. I can't say so much as you like.

30. Love is like two people pulling a rubber band. The injured one is always the one who won't let go.

3 1. A tailor who doesn't want to be a chef is not a good driver.

32. You told me to get out, and I got out. You asked me to come back. Sorry, I'm leaving.

33. What are you unhappy about? Say it to make everyone happy.

34. You are such a bitch. You are so forgetful.

35. An unmarried woman lamented: Why do mature men and good men become husbands, and no married man is decent? She was reminded that a wife cultivates a good husband by self-production and self-sale, and no man can teach himself.

36. Gold that does not want to be deformed is not good steel.

37. A male classmate who got married not long ago called … often hangs around in the kitchen and can't cut his hands …

The old man divided his inheritance before he died. He said to his eldest son, "Your daughter-in-law is going to give birth soon. I'll leave you my passbook." He said to his second son, "You are getting married soon. I will leave you the house." . Finally, I said to my youngest son, "I don't trust you the most." I don't have a girlfriend yet, so I will leave you the most precious legacy. " The younger son was secretly pleased, and the old man said, "There are more than 300 young girls in my QQ number friend column, and the number is * * * *."

My son came home trembling: "Dad, I only got 60 points in the exam today." Dad is very angry: "Don't call me dad next time you fail the exam!" " "The next day, my son came back:" I'm sorry, brother! " "

The woman reported: "I put my money in my bra and was stolen by a handsome guy in a crowded subway ..." Bohr. Ice wondered, "You didn't notice such a sensitive place?" The woman blushed and replied, "Who would have thought he was touching money?

Every time my wife quarrels with her husband, she has to go to the toilet for half a day. This happened more often, so her husband asked her curiously, "What are you doing in the toilet? It seems quite Japanese? " The wife said, "Brush the toilet!" The husband asked, "Can you get rid of the air by brushing the toilet?" The wife said, "I don't know. Anyway, the priest played golf with your toothbrush. The nun watched and missed the first shot. The priest scold a way, "TMD, missed! Hit again, the priest scolded again: "TMD, missed again!" "The nun said," God will punish you for swearing as a priest. " As soon as the voice fell, a thunder chopped the nun to death. The priest wondered: Why am I the one who cursed? Why should I chop a nun to death? At this time, I only heard the voice of God from the sky: "TMD, I also missed!" " "

One day, my brother went to the primary school attached to Normal University to play basketball. He heard a junior girl ask a junior boy on the playground, "Do you love me or not?" The boy said helplessly, "My mother gives me money from 3 yuan every day, of which 2.5 yuan is for you to buy snacks.". Do you think I love you or not? ! ! "

Joke: As soon as the director enters the office, the wife of the director of the office breaks in and waves a pair of women's briefs and says to the director, "My husband wears women's underwear when he comes home at night. You must take care of it." The director nodded repeatedly and stuffed his underwear into his pocket. When I came home at night, the director's wife found the briefs in the director's pocket when she was washing clothes, and said to the director, "Don't joke like this in the future, people have been looking for it all day."

There are three children sitting in front of the clinic-a big boy, a little boy and a girl. The nurse asked, what's the matter, little friend? Big boy: I swallowed a glass ball. The nurse asked the other one, and you? Girl: That glass ball is mine. The nurse asked again, what about you? Little boy: I will play next!

On the wedding night, Zhang Fei came to the strategist and asked Zhuge Liang: How to make love? I have no experience. Zhuge Liang was a little confused after hearing this. He thinks it's too deep for Zhang Fei to understand, and too shallow for him to be educated. He happened to see two horses mating by the river and said, do you see any horses by the river? Do it. With that, Zhang Fei went back. The next day Zhuge Liang asked, How was last night? Zhang Fei replied that it was fine, but it was a little cold by the river and there were many people watching. ..........

There is a little wolf. Oh, he was born a vegetarian, not a meat eater. His parents are very worried. As a result, my parents were very pleased to see the little wolf chasing the rabbit one day. Then the little wolf grabbed the rabbit and said, give me the carrot! ……

Divers have a high degree of difficulty. He rolled over for a week, then somersaulted for a week and a half, and then somersaulted for a month.

There is a man climbing a rock. When he was about to climb to the top of the mountain, a wolf tried to burn the rope with a burning candle. The man said a word and the wolf blew out the candle. The man said, Happy England!

Once upon a time, there was a hide-and-seek club whose president had not been found …

A little rabbit was fishing in the pond, but it didn't catch it for a long time. .....

The next day, the little rabbit went fishing in the pond again, but he still didn't catch a fish all day. ......

On the third day, the little rabbit insisted on fishing in the pond, but still found nothing. .......

The fourth day, the rabbit went fishing in the pond. A fish jumped out of the water and growled at the rabbit, "If you use carrots as bait again, I will kill you!" " "

..... after half a day's homework, I turned on the radio conveniently, and a gentle voice came out: "... if the skin color pays off and the fluff on my face is tender and soft, it means that it is very healthy ..."

When I heard this, I couldn't help touching my face, looking in the mirror and smiling again. It looked healthy and lovely.

At this moment, I heard the announcer say, "All right, listeners, this time our lecture on pig raising is here ..."

8. In a primary school, two students are quarreling. A said, "You ... you call again, and I can call someone!" "

B said, "You ... you fight! I don't believe this ... "

Then A really went to make a phone call, and when he came back, he put a malicious sentence: "You will know how to die in 30 minutes!" "

B was too nervous at this time, but there was nothing he could do. After 30 minutes, the school broadcast: "A classmate of B, you have a visitor, please go to the academic affairs office." Although I'm scared, I think I'm in the academic affairs office and I should be fine. So he went to the academic affairs office, and a blond boy came up and said, "Are you B?" "I'm sorry to have waited so long. This is 10 Hawaiian pizza with chicken, 5300 yuan.

B: "I am …" Rene Liu's courtship to Jay Chou was rejected, and Rene Liu asked Jay Chou why. Jay Chou said, milk tea, I like music and beautiful women.

-Hello, please call a taxi. I am at the intersection of XX, wearing a short black skirt. ...

-Okay, where to?

-Uh ... to the knee. ...