Family jokes

The system of 1. 12306 is really powerful. Fully simulate the environment of buying tickets on the spot. Line up first, and then the staff tells you that there are no tickets. The advantage of buying tickets on the spot is that you can't see the people who cut in line, so you can wait in line lying down.

2. The travel agency said that an Apple mobile phone can travel around Yunnan, a car can travel around the coastal hotel in Xinmatai, and a suite can travel around the world with a down payment. At that time, your world view may change. The real estate agent said, when you come back empty-handed, it will get dark, and your world view will really change when you see your friends have cars, houses and daughters-in-law and cut fruits with their mobile phones. . .

One day I teased my little nephew and asked, "Is mom a boy or a girl?" Answer: "Ma Ma is a girl ..." Ask again: "Is Dad a boy or a girl?" A: "Dad is a boy." Ask again: "Is that uncle a boy or a girl?" Answer: "My uncle is an animal ..." The whole family vomited directly. .....

Ziyuan and Chizi chatted at home and recalled their childhood. Ziyuan said, "When I was six years old, I played house games with a little boy in kindergarten." Chichi asked, "Did you give the boy three sweets?" Zi Yuan was surprised: "How do you know?" The child was furious: "There are two pieces of sugar in the stone! ! "

A person eats KFC, and there are four women sitting at another table next to him. They kept telling some old horror stories, but they were scared to death. Finally, I'm really bored. I calmly wiped my mouth after eating and said to the air next to my seat, "Grandma, have you finished eating?" We ate and went back. "Then a hand pretending to hold a person, in the four frightened eyes and went out. . .

6. Two programmers, one is skilled, rigorous and responsible, with few bugs, and is single so far; A general technique, fooling around, a lot of bugs, was often called by the next test MM, accepted criticism, and later became her boyfriend. . .

7.65438 What is the mentality of registering for CET-4 and CET-6 on February 22nd? I don't know that 65438+February 2 1 is the end of the world? I wish I had money to buy myself some snacks. ...

8. A woman is like a train. They are basically walking around. .....

9. I am a nurse in the intensive care unit. Today, an old lady had a general anesthesia operation. I read this case. She broke her right femur while riding a bike. Because I wanted to make sure the patient was awake, I patted the old lady on the shoulder and asked her if she was awake. The old lady grabbed my hand and said, "You hit me!" Suddenly, the whole intensive care unit was quiet. ...

10. Today 9 18, I went home to see Conan at night, and a Japanese died in one episode. I'm so happy!

Family jokes (classic)

1. I really think it will be interesting for artists to play more TV series or cooperate more times ~ "Guo Shuai, we meet again in this play ~" "Last time I played your boyfriend, how did your brother get swollen this time?" ""I'm glad to see XX play this role. I want to play once ~ "and so on ... just give a few examples.