Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - 100,000 jokes, the teacher's jokes.

100,000 jokes, the teacher's jokes.

1 Boys stand on my left, girls stand on my right, and others stay where they are?

One day, it was raining heavily outside, and the teacher came into the classroom with a full face of rain. He doesn't know what he is looking for in front of the podium. After searching for a while, he asked his classmates in the front row: where is my paper face?

3 line segment a is half of line segment b, what is line segment b? (The whole class is quiet, waiting for a high opinion, after a long time) Line B is two halves of Line A, (halo)

In junior high school, a math teacher talked about equation transformation. On the platform, he rolled up his sleeves and shouted: Attention, students! I'm going to change!

A classmate was making trouble below, and our teacher said, You stand on the blackboard! ! ? This is very difficult.

A boy asked, Teacher, there is no pencil for drawing. Do you want to borrow one or use a pen? Teacher (elderly woman) A: Go ahead and relieve yourself.

7 high school algebra teacher:? Don't make any noise when you are talking. ?

The chemistry teacher and director of high school made a deliberate mistake when doing the problem, and then asked a classmate to find out the mistake. After the students answered with difficulty, the teacher said approvingly and seriously, OK, you saw the teacher's tears. ? Everyone was stunned. After class, the teacher just went out and the whole class burst into laughter.

One day, when our high school math teacher told us about the periodic table of functions, he said? Cycle? In two words, I excitedly walked off the platform and said to the whole class:? You still don't understand the cycle. It is true that pigs are smarter than you. ? Then he pointed to a girl in the first row and said, do you know what a cycle is? You explain to them. ? The whole class fainted.

10 When we were in junior high school, it was stipulated that we should wear school uniforms when raising the national flag. As a result, there are always some people who don't wear school uniforms or just wear pants or clothes. Then every time before raising the flag, the headmaster shouted there with a megaphone. Some students don't wear clothes, some students don't wear pants, and some simply don't wear clothes or pants! ?

1 1 Chinese teacher teaches Chibi text. Speaking of Cao Bing trampling on each other in Huarong Road, he said with emotion: The flow of people is terrible.

13 The female teacher in the junior middle school Chinese class just graduated from Normal University, and everything is fine, except that she likes to take her students to the blackboard and write down noun explanations in a surprise way. The method is: the teacher dictated a word, and the students wrote and explained it silently.

I remember once, I drew a boy who didn't want to hear it. The teacher repeated it over and over again? Occasionally? The boy grabbed his scalp and looked at the blackboard for several minutes, then suddenly he wrote down:

Bitch: dirty embryo, not a good thing. The whole class burst into laughter and the female teacher was so angry that she couldn't say a word.

14 There is a boy in junior middle school who likes to listen to the walkman, and he also listens secretly in math class. I accidentally sang along,

Who knew it was too loud?

"oh! Give me a cup of water, and I won't be sad all night ... "

I always hear it! Ask loudly: "Who sang the song?"

The students answered together: "Andy Lau!"

The teacher said angrily, "Andy Lau, stay after school and write a check."

15 Let's talk about it. . . Look at everyone with bright eyes (alternating current in physics class)

16 ? Lincoln died in a brothel?

what did he have to say. Theater?

17 full-time shift department? Whenever we say this word, the teacher will mispronounce it and we will laugh? Every time the teacher wants to say this word, he will worry that we will laugh and be nervous.

When you are nervous, do you pronounce the wrong sound? anxious

18 The teacher hates iron and does not produce steel; Calling you pigs is an insult to pigs! We are speechless.

You savages! Senior high school class teacher

20 Chinese teacher+class teacher once talked about the safety of students' travel and said: Be careful on the way to school ... Are they all your mother's treasures? .

(Suddenly embarrassed, stopped talking) Cover your mouth with your hand and continue (the process is very short):? Is it a fucking baby? . Continue to be violently cold, and stay in a daze after about 10 seconds. The whole class is embarrassed.

2 1 One day, a female Chinese teacher read a model essay in class. After reading it, she said to the students affectionately, classmates, after reading this article, am I? Wet. . .

The teacher went to the podium and said, "Stand up! ! "

The monitor had to shout, "class! ! "

everybody

Wood ~ ~ ~

Chinese teacher (furious ing) said to a classmate in our class: If my hand doesn't hurt, I'll kick you out! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

In the course of imaging principle, the teacher talked about ct technology and Japanese technology, and said: Japan has been ahead of the United States in this respect. This Japan really feels inappropriate to say: There are no Japanese here, and no relatives are Japanese, right? That's good. So keep teaching?

Math class, a romantic but not dirty teacher.

It is said that he used to be a gangster.

Our head teacher.

Solve the equation, after 5 minutes. Teacher:? Did the boy want it? Boy:? Did you get it ~ ~ ~?

Teacher:? oh

Boys are all finished. What about you girls? Did the girl untie it?

Girl: "Untie ~ ~?

Teacher:? All right! So now we're

Yes, a few. . . ?

I have been checking the boys' dormitory for several weeks, and I will check the girls from time to time in the next few weeks. After the class teacher finished, the following laughed into a ball.

When I was in junior high school, I once had a Chinese class and talked about Su Dongpo and the monk. A boy made a mistake and deliberately asked when his breasts were bare. The archaistic teacher opened her mouth and said that it was a woman's nz. I chuckled.

In high school history class, the teacher was very excited when he talked about the drastic changes in Eastern Europe. Students, this is not a small change, but a big change!

After a silence, our classmates and teachers laughed together?

There is also N math class. The math teacher often says that it is funny to take a small P (fart) outside the straight line AB.

The geography teacher in high school can't speak Mandarin well, so he has to figure out how to speak it every time. One day in class, he was writing on the blackboard on the platform, and it was very noisy. He turned around and looked at everyone angrily for 10 seconds, saying something that puzzled the whole class: I can hear you with my eyes closed! I still use Trump. )

30 geography class, a teacher said:

"You humans! Just don't pay attention to environmental protection. "