Tang Priest and the Monkey King's Classic English Jokes

1. Tang Priest's SMS: Empress, I'm Sanzang. We have arrived in the lion camel country. I miss you and kiss you. If you don't reply to text messages, it's inconvenient for your apprentice to be here.

2. Bajie: Monkey, did you propose to the fairy Xia Zi with this ring? You are so funny! You don't have a half carat diamond, so no one cares about you! When Chang 'e was so ashamed of me, she said, Don't tell me if you love me or not. Look at the size of the diamond ring first! Alas, how realistic the little fairy is now. Alas, I tell you, with this ticket fairy, you will shoot her to death with a diamond brick, and she didn't even call for help!

3. Tang Priest: Donor, I am from the Eastern Tang Dynasty. Please stay here for one night ... Huh? Donors? Donor, would you please open the door? Fuck!

Tang Priest: Wukong bastard! Don't do this! Those benefactors are not monsters. How can you persist in teaching and kill people at will? ! ..... oh? Are they businessmen who buy land in Gai Lou? Amitabha ... Wujing, help me hold the five Buddha crowns for my teacher; Wukong, lend the golden hoop to the teacher! No, Bajie, give me your rake! blackguard ...

4. Tang Priest: Bajie, Wukong is not here. Go and make some vegetarian food. Jason Wu, you drink the horses first. ..... Bajie, Bajie, come here. Remember! Just go to the house we passed just now, yes, the one where the village woman took care of the children. After smelling the fragrance, I am making sauce elbows, which are very fragrant! Go ahead, just a mother and son, give or rob! Go back!

5. Tang Priest: Wukong, Bajie and Wukong, come to the teacher. Alas ..... I don't blame your teacher, but have you forgotten all my teaching? You and I are both Buddhists, so we should avoid many commandments. You should always remember that you don't steal, talk nonsense, hate your mouth, be greedy, jealous or stupid! Since you believe in Buddhism wholeheartedly, how can you practice without practice? Ok, I'll ask your teacher, who the fuck is it! Last night, when I was sleeping for my teacher, I sneaked in and stole my food? !

6. Wukong: Bajie! You idiot! It's already ten miles, so you can't change a song to hum! Keep singing "Blessing" and watch Master cry!

7. Bajie: Master, get on the horse. What figure can you keep by taking these two steps? A monk, what idol are you pretending to be? Look, you sent monkeys to pick wild fruits again. Can improving food kill you? My existence has fully demonstrated that you can't lose weight by being a vegetarian.