Fan Shengmei, "has made the hearts of parents all over the world not to be reborn as a boy but to be reborn as a girl."

“As a 30-year-old woman, I don’t have a penny in savings. I paid for the down payment of the house for my brother’s wedding, I also paid for the loan, and I even paid for the childbirth.”

This is a distressing line from the recently popular urban drama "Ode to Joy".

In the play, Fan Shengmei was forced by her parents to "pay the bill" for the troubles caused by her brother. She ran around to help the family, but in the end she could not get the understanding of her family.

Kindness and vanity are like two sides of her, which makes people sigh and lament. She struggled to support herself and wanted to find a rich husband once and for all, but she gradually realized that only by being self-reliant can she truly change the trajectory of her life.

Although Fan Shengmei’s family values ??boys over girls, almost the whole family relies on Fan Shengmei to support them alone. But I have also seen that women have a certain status in social life. At least many things that have happened around me make me feel that women are actually much more important than men, and they are much less worrying.

1.

If I hadn’t seen the story of Fan’s father being hospitalized and Fan Shengmei’s collapse, I might not have thought of calling my parents, nor would I have known that my mother had died. Festival.

How long has it been since I called my parents?

I looked through the call records and found that three weeks had passed. My parents rarely called me because they were afraid of delaying my work. I was the only child in the family, and my parents took good care of me. However, I only remembered to call them after three weeks, and suddenly I felt very unfilial.

I remember when I was in high school, the school required accommodation and I had to go home once every two months at most. At that time, I was rebellious and spent money lavishly. I would either not call home and just ask for money whenever I called. He would even climb stairs in the middle of the night, go to Internet cafes, get into fights, and show no knowledge or skills.

Thinking about it now, it really caused a lot of trouble for my parents. If I had been a girl at that time, I might not have caused so much trouble.

2.

The rapid economic development has brought about tremendous changes in life concepts, consumption concepts and family ethics. Due to certain factors, according to online data, there are more than 20 million more men than women in mainland China. The ratio of men to women is seriously imbalanced, which means that a large number of men will be single.

From this point of view, men’s right to choose does not prevail in life-long matters.

Nowadays, many parents, especially those in only-child families, are trying hard to arrange their sons’ marriages and help them buy houses and cars. Even so, their sons may not be able to get married smoothly. As a parent, it can be said that It's heartbreaking.

3.

There is a girl in my neighbor’s house who is about the same age as me. She is someone else’s child according to her parents.

Girls often help their parents with housework and are good girls at school and at home. While I was still playing marbles, the girl was already helping her parents and younger brother wash clothes. When I was playing King of Fighters in the arcade, the girl had already received a scholarship from the county. When I hit a wall in finding a job after graduation, the girl had already entered a public institution. While I was still worrying about how to solve the problem of leftover men, the girl was already married.

During the New Year and holidays, girls will take their husbands back to their parents' homes to honor their father-in-law and mother-in-law.

Everything seems so logical and enviable. Sometimes other neighbors will say that it is a blessing to have a daughter now.

If you think about it carefully, parents in today's society are fighting for their sons. Studying, getting a wife, a house, a car, money, and raising grandchildren. In front of my son, I feel that parents never have a moment of leisure to enjoy happiness.

4.

I have a female classmate in college. We both went to Beijing when we graduated in 2011. Later, through his own efforts, this classmate returned to his hometown and bought a house for his parents. When his brother got married, he used all the money he saved as gift money.

Later, when the conditions in Beijing were a little better, I took my mother to Beijing to play for a while.

A female classmate occasionally chats with me. She will ask me how much money I have saved. She said that as a boy in the family, you should save some money for your parents over the years. They cannot accept the money you give to your parents. Receiving is one thing, but you must have this awareness.

After graduation, I only gave money to my parents once, but they didn’t ask for it. Later, I wanted to start my own business and invested all my money. As a male, compared with my female classmates, I find that I am really inferior. I have never bought a house for my parents, and I have never taken my parents to Beijing. Some of them just ask for their parents and are selfish.

5.

Let’s talk about a male friend of mine.

Shanxi people think of coal bosses when they mention Shanxi. Although coal is now in recession, many rich people have been created here. It is also because of these rich people that Shanxi has become poor. The imbalance in the wealth gap has also driven up the standard of betrothal gifts in Shanxi.

It is said that the standard betrothal gift in Taiyuan is 150,000 yuan, and it is different in other places.

My friend has found a partner and plans to get married.

The woman asked to buy a house before getting married, so my friend bought the house. The woman asked for a bride price of 300,000 yuan to get married, and my friend gave her 300,000 yuan. Later, after the woman proposed, she had to travel to Hainan to get married. Before the wedding, my friend's savings have been almost spent, not to mention that my friend has a brother who will also get married in the future.

No wonder some people say that giving birth to a boy is the "Construction Bank" and giving birth to a girl is the "China Merchants Bank". This means that if you give birth to a boy, you will have to prepare money for him to buy a house and get married in the future. If the local price is high, it means that Having a boy in the family is likely to put greater financial pressure on the family.

6.

"Modern Express" once introduced that in the past few years, through a sampling survey of 4,309 families in 10 prefecture-level cities in China, it was found that: those who gave birth to sons Parents, when their sons grow from 17 to 30 years old, their happiness is significantly lower than that of parents who have daughters.

Bai Juyi once wrote in "Song of Everlasting Sorrow" that parents all over the world would not be reborn as a boy but as a girl. This means that the glory gained from Concubine Yang's favor made all parents in the world eager to give birth to a child. A daughter (in the hope of being chosen by the king and honoring the ancestors), but unwilling to give birth to a son.

Du Fu also wrote in "The Troops and Chariots" that if you give birth to a girl, you have to marry your neighbor, but if you give birth to a boy, you will have to marry her neighbor. It is said that having a boy is not as good as having a girl. Girls can still marry the people around them, but it is often seen that boys can only die on the battlefield.

In the past few years, the walls in rural areas were covered with slogans such as "Boys and girls are the same", but now they have become unconvincing. If there is a choice, I am afraid that more families will choose to give birth to a girl, an option with a high happiness index and low life pressure.

According to research, there is a phenomenon in society: women generally have a higher say in the family than men. In terms of filial piety, sons-in-law often perform better than daughters-in-law. If they live under the same roof, Under the circumstances, living with the father-in-law and mother-in-law is often more harmonious than living with the father-in-law and mother-in-law.

In short, whether men or women do not know how to take responsibility and do not learn "love", they will not be happy in the true sense in the end, especially when they reach old age.