Humorous short messages sent to boyfriends.

1, chocolate is forbidden. Don't call me! Don't think about me when you are free! Hope to implement it seriously!

2. In love, a man is like a frog that jumps into the water at 100℃ when doing an experiment, but he can't adapt to jumping away quickly. And women, like frogs in the rising water, adapt at first, but later, if they can't adapt, it becomes a struggle to jump. [Rest assured, women are made of water. I am the only one who imitates frogs in love. ]

The overlord said to Ji, you go. Yu Ji said, no, you haven't given me a breakup fee yet. Please remember this history, this is called bullying her. I really want to find your history teacher now and tell him that you are really capable, even such a student can teach. ]

4. Tea should be strong enough to have a special fragrance; It's hard to make it through hard work: people must have deep feelings and can't love again until the next life; Pig's trotters, fresh, hehe this one with mice is not bad.

I feel uncomfortable eating cold drinks today. Come out, I can't hold on. Only by staying in the bathroom for a long time can you find your weight in your heart. Actually, you are in such a hurry. Tell the person knocking at the door. Why are you so shy and texting? You see, it took nearly a minute to read your message and nearly three minutes to reply. ]

Rereading those letters you wrote to me today, I not only thought of many articles in the world, but also found many men in the world. what do you reckon ? I feel insulted by you. what do you think? ]

7. The leader said that he would give me a promotion and a raise next month. I want to celebrate. Are you free tonight? At that time, I will wear the red skirt I just bought today. [All rectification. That's what your leader tells you every time he wants to rip me off with your colleagues. ]

Every time it rains heavily, I ask for your help. In case of famine, I will send you meals. Your simple and honest expression excites me. In fact, raising a pig is quite fulfilling.

9. I called you a pig the other day, and you said, "I am a pig." From then on, I called you a pig. Later, you finally couldn't stand it, yelling at me in front of many people, "I'm not a pig."

10, men invented love, women invented marriage, and I invented you. You took advantage of me. ]

1 1, do you know? Doing bad things is called bad people, empty heads are called idiots, firing people is called getting out, and alas, it is called finished. Give me another kind of egg ~ the idiot who is reading the text message!

12, what do you think is: awesome, cool, nothing can compare! In fact, it is: awesome, cool, and scared when you look back! !

13. When you walk on a single-plank bridge, you find a tiger in front and a wolf behind. How did you get there? I passed out.

14, mouth like a steamed stuffed bun, teeth like a knife, yellow hair, swollen, walking like a duck, talking like a mule, beautiful chicken feet, crouching like a tiger, looks really bad ~!

15, reverse satirizing children's hunger and stupidity, reverse leather shoes hunger and stupidity, reverse Hami hunger and stupidity (you are wind, I am sand, you are leather shoes, I am a brush, you are Hami, I am a melon, you ignore me and I commit suicide) Shaanxi version.

16, you are so elegant and charming. No wonder everyone says you are … bloated!

17, you eat yours, I eat yours, you don't eat mine, I only eat yours, you go! Jingpianzi

18, your phone bill balance is less than 0. 1 yuan. Please pay the phone bill in the near future: sell children, women, rice, iron and blood, houses, land and wives!

19, your mobile phone has been infected with "HIV". For safety, please wear a mask, gloves and condoms when using.

20. Hello, your good friend, I ordered a power train for you. Please hit your head on the washbasin. Did you hear "when"? Ok, the song list is over!

2 1, you broke my heart! Now smash the car, jump into the river and touch the switch as soon as you go out! Jingpianzi

22. Do you want to have good teeth? Here are three lessons for you: first, rinse your mouth after meals and brush your teeth in the morning and evening; Second, go to the hospital for a dental examination every two years; Third, mind your own business.

23. Unfortunately for you, anyone who can receive this message is a parallel mobile phone. If it is used for a long time, the consequences will be unimaginable. Please replace it immediately.

24. Girl: My soul didn't come out when I saw you. Otherwise, we'll take a walk while it's dark, and we'll be bored without you! Jingpianzi

25, squat! Does Nong really love Wu? Didn't clear the bar now! Five details are lost! ! ! ! (you say! Do you love me? If you don't make it clear today, I'll show you! ) Shanghai edition

26, squat down! Does Nong really love Wu? Didn't clear the bar now! Five details are lost! ! ! ! (you say! Do you love me or not? If you don't make it clear today, I'll show you! )

27. Nong's girlfriend Nong was cut! ! ! Shanghai edition

28. I know how to cut it. I am always happy.

29. Do you know how to cut it? I always like to be hungry! Shanghai edition

30.w: What are the three words you want to say to me most? Give you a chance! Man: Don't … ask …! !

3 1, my daughter was * * * by the boss, and my father was furious! Boss: water under the bridge. I have a son who gives you 1 10,000 and a daughter who gives you 500,000. Father: If you miscarry, can you give me another chance? !

The female teacher drew an apple on the blackboard, but the students said it was * * *. The headmaster came and said angrily, "Which classmate drew a * * on the blackboard and made the teacher cry?"

33. The girls' dormitory is close to turning off the lights, and some boys don't want to leave. The doorman is in no hurry. Seeing that the clock pointed to 1 1, she stood up and cleared her throat: "Girls, Fujian-"

34. Fat girl: Strange, when did a camel come to your horse farm? Or twin peaks! Librarian: To tell the truth, this is not a camel, but the horse you rode last time!

35. Being fat means being fat and growing strong. Being fat means being fat, with a waistline. Ugliness is ugliness. You have a hukou. Black is black, with water color. Being thin means being thin and muscular.

36. Friend: Do you treat money like dirt? If so, let me help you move the soil!

37, fart is the gas in the stomach, is there any reason not to let go, fart people are proud, fart people are depressed. How about a taste? Still laughing? Strangle you!

38. Do you know, dear? You have lost a lot of weight recently! I see it in my eyes, but it hurts in my heart. It's almost the Spring Festival, but your health is worrying ... Who doesn't want their pigs to kill a few kilograms more?

39. There are six kinds of pigs in the world. Those who are kept at home are called domestic pigs, those born in the mountains are called wild boars, those who look at blessings are called stupid pigs, those who laugh at them are called stupid pigs, those who ignore me are called dead pigs, and those who don't return my blessings are not as good as ~ ~

40. It's raining lightly in the sky, which seems to laugh at my delusion. Why are you so selfish and cruel that I miss you? Rack one's brains to write a poem, full of sadness, who knows Only pig head and * * *, staring at the screen to see this poem.

4 1, I heard that Tang Priest and his disciples are coming back from the Western Heaven. But one of them was lost on the way. When you receive this message, please raise your mobile phone, point to the sky and say, Master, I am Bajie, and I am here. What do you mean by sending this to me in the middle of the night?

Think about it. ]

42. Are you off duty now? You must be very busy these days. Pay attention to rest and don't be too tired. For example, don't read this message. If I had known you said that, I wouldn't have got up. Bad luck. ]

43. The little pig cried sadly. Mother asked: Why are you crying? The pig said, I feel stupid. Mother comforted him: son, don't cry, XXX is more stupid than you.

44. One day I asked Tang Yan: Master, is this world really the ugliest for me? The Tang Priest turned pale and said, Ask Sister Guanyin! When Bajie came back from Guanyin, he asked cheerfully, Hehe, Master, who is XXX? Ha ha laugh

45. On this romantic day, a little pig hides in the house and draws a ball, which is round. Happy pig, round egg

I want to take you to my house this weekend. You know, I haven't told my parents about us. In order not to make them misunderstand, I would say that you are my subordinate, so you should pay attention to your performance. It's unfair of you to do so. Last time I took you to my house, you already did it.

Former leader. Didn't we agree that it was my turn to go to your house? Am I the leader? How can a subordinate lead a family with nothing and bow and scrape? I went to your house as me, and you were obviously blackmailing me. If I had known this, I wouldn't have let you take my house last time.

There are many things. Alas, it is going to shed blood again. ]