My honest husband was having an affair with my bestie behind my back

My honest husband had an affair with my best friend behind my back

Confessor: Xiaoxiao (pseudonym), 36 years old, Harbin

I don’t know if it’s because this society is too sinister or because I am too naive and easily deceived. My husband, who has always been honest and honest, does his job properly and never flirts with women. He has been dating my best friend for more than a year behind my back.

I am 36 years old and I originally had a happy wife. Home, I didn’t expect that all of this would be rewritten three months ago. Because three months ago, I found out that my usually honest and honest husband had cheated on me with my best friend.

I have a good sister named Xiaobo. Xiaobo and I are very good friends, just like biological sisters. We got married the same year and had our children the same year. The two children are also very good friends. If they don't see each other for a week, the two little guys will miss each other.

Xiaobo and I are the kind of good friends who can share everything except our husbands. There are no secrets between us. She knows all my troubles, including that my husband is a bit frigid. I also know all the secrets in her family, including that her husband once had an affair. I helped her when she was in trouble, and she comforted me when I was troubled. Many times I think that she is my best friend in life.

Xiaobo’s husband is very kind to her and obedient. Although he once had an affair, based on his current behavior, Xiaobo has forgiven him, and I regard him as my good friend.

As for me, my husband and I have been married for more than ten years, and our relationship is always bumpy. Sometimes, I even envy Xiaobo. Although her husband has made mistakes, her husband is still so kind to her, much better than my husband is to me. My husband is the kind of dull person who doesn't like to express himself.

Some time ago, relying on a woman’s intuition, I discovered that “something was wrong” with my husband. He used to be informal at home and put his phone around, but now he always carries it with him. Sometimes answering calls or reading text messages makes people feel that something is wrong.

I secretly printed out my husband’s cell phone call sheets for the past three or four months, and unexpectedly found that he and Xiaobo had a large number of call and text message records. This clearly shows that the relationship between the two of them is unusual. I took the list and asked my husband: "What's going on?" My husband begged me to forgive him, saying that it was Xiaobo who took the initiative. She told him that she had been secretly in love with him for so many years, and she would not destroy each other's family, as long as Being with him is enough. My husband said that he was distracted and did something sorry for me. He promised that he would never have any dealings with Xiaobo again. At that moment, my tears were completely out of control.

I found Xiaobo, and she cried and said: "We are just having fun, you and him can still live together." I can feel that she likes my husband very much, and even feels that God is unfair for letting me meet him first. My husband. She asked me to forgive her for the sake of the children and not to tell her husband. She said that if her husband knew about it, her family would be destroyed.

I still love my husband in my heart. For the sake of my children and family, I don’t have the courage to file for divorce. But when I think about my husband and my best friend, I feel as disgusting as swallowing a fly. It’s hard to forgive them

Teacher Li’s comment: With the improvement of social civilization, people’s tolerance for cheating is also increasing. Respecting human nature will weaken the stability of marriage. Judging from the cases we have come across in recent years, there are quite a few female friends who have been deceived by their best friends. Analyzing the reasons, there are three main reasons: First, best friends are familiar with each other's marital status and know the weaknesses of each other's marriage, so it is easy to get involved in each other's marriage; second, best friends have frequent contacts with each other, and some two families even become friends and have affairs under the pretext of friendship. It is convenient to hide; thirdly, you can stay with your girlfriends at will, ask your husband to pick you up when your girlfriends come to play at home, arrange for your husband to help when you have difficulties, etc., which inadvertently creates many opportunities for girlfriends and husbands to come into contact alone.

Female friends must keep in mind the three precautions for women in the new era: "fire prevention, theft prevention, and best friend protection." Secrets between husband and wife cannot be leaked to best friends at will. It is necessary to keep a certain distance between best friends and husband, so as to avoid regrets in the long run.

Being cheated by your best friend is a double deception by a friend and your husband. It will be very painful and it will take some time to get over it. This female friend expressed that she still loves her husband after being betrayed by her husband and best friend. This is a reasonable understanding. Female friends need to know that cheating on a man does not mean that he has no love, nor does it mean that he wants a divorce. He may just be seeking quick pleasure, just as his best friend said, he is just acting out for the occasion.

It is not easy to maintain a marriage. When encountering such a situation, you must be calm. You must carefully summarize the reasons why your husband and best friend do what they do. The most important thing is to work hard to repair the fence that strengthens the marriage. I suggest this female friend to reflect on her past, and not to place all the blame on her best friend and husband, and not to hold on to this matter, but to learn to shift her focus, find what she did poorly, and work hard to do better. To prevent similar situations from happening again in the future.