Does anyone have any quotes, proverbs, humorous stories, ancient and modern jokes, advertising slogans, reminders? Please help.

A hunter was hunting and saw two birds on the tree. He raised his gun and shot down one, and found that it was a hairless one. The hunter was wondering when another bird flew down and cursed the hunter: "You **** Yes! I just stripped her naked and you knocked her down!"

It is said that a certain lady bought a female parrot on a whim. Unexpectedly, when I brought it home, the first thing it said was: "Do you want to go to bed with me?"

When the lady heard this, she thought to herself: That's bad, outsiders think I taught you this. ,? Doesn’t this completely ruin my ladylike image? So she tried her best to get the parrot to say something elegant, but the female parrot was determined and could only say one sentence: "Do you want to go to bed with me?"

… …?What to do? When the lady lost her mind, she heard that the priest also kept a parrot (male), and not only did the parrot not use foul language, it was actually a devout Christian who spent most of the day praying. So the woman went to the priest for help. After the priest understood her purpose, he said with a slightly troubled expression: "This is difficult to do. In fact, the parrot didn't teach it anything deliberately. The reason why it is so pious may be that it has been nurtured here for a long time. "For some reason."

Seeing that the lady was disappointed, the priest said, "Well, you bring that parrot to me and I will put them together. I hope that after some time, your parrot will be gone." Parrots can be influenced. I can only do this. Whether it has any effect depends on God's will..."

When the lady heard this, she could only do this. Isn't there a saying: "Nearly Zhu" Are you naked? Give it a try. So she took the parrot to the priest. The priest kept the two parrots together as promised. The female parrot was a little reserved at first. Seeing the male parrot praying silently in a corner of the cage, she really couldn't bear to disturb him. But she still couldn't control herself, and finally said loudly: "Do you want to go to bed with me?"

Hearing this, the male parrot stopped praying, turned around and looked at the female parrot, and suddenly burst into tears. : "Thank God, the wish I have prayed for so many years has finally come true..." Zhang Fei pretends to be a bride - not pretending to be the same

Zhou Yu wears a yellow cover - one is willing to be beaten and the other is willing to suffer

< p>Zhou Yu's plan for Jingzhou - losing his wife and losing his troops

Zhuge Liang's goose feather fan - mysterious and unpredictable

Zhang Fei eats the weight - determined

< p>Guan Yu opens a knife shop - strong people and strong goods

Guan Yunchang farts - not knowing how to blush

Guan Yu walks around Maicheng - the end is coming

Dancing in front of Guan Fuzi Big Sword - Showing Ugliness

Zhou Yu fell ill in Luhuadang - angry

Xu Shu entered Cao Ying - without saying a word

Kong Ming made a plan to empty the city - - Turn danger into safety

Zhang Fei eats bean sprouts - a piece of cake

Liu Bei throws the child - wins people's hearts

Cao Cao meets Ma Chao - cuts off his beard and abandons his robe

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Zhang Fei staged the massacre - a ferocious spirit

Boiled beans and burned bean sprouts - his own family rectified his own family

Sun Quan killed Guan Yu - put the blame on others

< p>Liu Bei's empire - crying

Kong Ming's piano practice - a cliché