How to write a review after reading that parents’ attitude towards life affects their children’s personality

Life Attitude Orientation

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This is the 16th article.

Positive Discipline

Chapter 10 "The Impact of Your Personality on Your Children's Personality"

The "life attitude" proposed by Israeli psychologist Nila Kefer "Orientation" theory focuses on how adults' decisions and behaviors affect children.

What is life attitude orientation?

Since childhood, a large number of subconscious decisions have been accumulated, which together form the attitude towards life.

Now, your children are forming their own attitudes toward life. Life attitude orientation does not describe who you are. They represent the decisions you make in your life about how to find a sense of belonging and worth.

In fact, adults will form both a basic life attitude orientation and a secondary life attitude orientation.

Six elements

Identify your basic life attitude orientation (the actions you take when you feel that your sense of belonging and self-worth are threatened or unsafe)

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Identify your secondary life attitude orientation (the usual behaviors you take when you feel safe)

Your life blueprint

Understand your life blueprint ( Your life attitude orientation (see picture below) provides you with an opportunity to make some corrections. It can also help you identify which blueprint your child is starting to use, and give you a better understanding of how they react when they feel unsafe.

Four types of life attitude orientation

No matter which life attitude orientation, the key is that its main motivation is to find a sense of belonging and value.

Adler said: "Your ideas have no meaning, except for the meaning you give it."

Life attitude orientation and parenting style, teaching style

< p>The advantages and disadvantages of each orientation affect your behavior as a parent.

Comfortable

Comfortable - If adults can involve children in family meetings or class meetings to set limits, establish routines, set goals, and solve problems together, they can More effective.

Controlling style

Controlling style - if adults can work hard to recognize their need for excessive control, and practice the skills of letting go, providing children with choices, and asking heuristics Question techniques and techniques that involve children in decision making, the more effective they will be.

Pleasing Style

Pleasing Style - Adults are more effective if they stop focusing solely on the needs of others and take care of their own needs so that they can give more. Children should be believed to have the ability to make themselves happy, and children should be taught the skills to sincerely express their emotions and solve problems together.

Strive for excellence

Strive for excellence - if adults can try their best to put aside their own requirements for everything to be "correct" and "the best", and try to get into the hearts of children The world will be more effective when they discover what is more important to their children, remember that there is more than one "right" way to do things, and make sure to communicate unconditional love to their children.

Group activities

Group activities on life attitude orientation

Divide into groups with different life attitude orientations, brainstorm on the following content, and fill in the blanks at the end In the column:

1. Make a small placard

2. Your strengths (the most common points of most people in the group)

3. Your shortcomings (most people in the group have the same thing)

4. What impact will this tendency have on your children?

5. Discuss how to improve your quality of life, Improve your parent-child relationship and propose specific improvement steps

Practice as follows:

Four attitudes and four squares

1. Click on each frame above On a scale of 1 to 4, put 1 in the box you like least. From left to right, these four squares represent the striving-for-excellence type, the control-type, the pleasing-type, and the comfort-type respectively.

2. My basic life attitude orientation is: (fill in the box of 1)

3. My secondary life attitude orientation is: (fill in the box of 2)< /p>

4. The small placard with my life attitude should read:

5. My greatest advantage is:

6. My greatest disadvantage is :

7. The possible impact of my life attitude on my children is:

8. Specific steps for improvement: