Debate competition. Between parents and children, is the generation gap the responsibility of the parents or the children?

As we age, our minds become more mature, and we want to highlight our individuality. Coupled with the aging of our parents, it is inevitable that there will be disunity in the minds of the two generations. We feel that our parents are old-fashioned, ignorant, unable to keep up with the trend of the times, nagging, and always care about all kinds of gossip. On the contrary, our parents feel that we are not as obedient as we were when we were children. We will not refute anything we say, and now we are always making new and useless gadgets. The older we get, the harder it is to control us. In this way, differences in thinking and different views on things will inevitably lead to generation gaps. Therefore, we study this topic so that we can correctly understand the generation gap, cross it, and build a bridge of communication between the two generations.

Introduction (What is the generation gap): The generation gap refers to the differences in ideas and behavioral habits caused by children abandoning their parents' original views and gaining new insights in the process of entering society. People of different ages live in different circles and come into contact with different things and people, so their thinking methods and behaviors are also different. If this difference is not improved and allowed to expand, an invisible wall will be formed between the two generations, and misunderstandings will easily arise. This is what is called a generation gap in psychology. To use a modern language, it is the so-called "generation gap". The word "generation gap" is literally translated from the English generation gap. Because the translation is appropriate and novel, and easy to remember, it immediately became a commonly used expression. From a translation perspective, "generation gap" is indeed superior to the original term "generation gap". The trend of modern translation seems to be that phrases have the upper hand, and cumbersome and cumbersome translation methods seem to be out of date. The term generationgap appeared not long ago, probably in the late 1960s. Generation is a general term that refers to people of the same generation. The "generation" it refers to is between twenty-five and thirty years, but there is no limit. It is likely that people with an age difference of ten years will be considered to belong to another generation. As for the original meaning of the word gap, it is a gap, a crack or a gap. The more abstract meaning refers to differences in personality, opinions, etc. Western scholars have had heated debates about the existence of generationgap. In the early days, some psychologists believed that the vast majority of young people accepted traditional values, so they could not admit the existence of a "generation gap." However, in recent years, the problem of "generation gap" has become more and more obvious and serious, making those who hold opposing views have to face up to this problem. Some people have proposed that we should reduce the generation gap between adults and teenagers. In fact, it is not difficult. All you need to do is "read young people's books and newspapers, watch young people's movies and TV shows, and participate in youth activities." There will be a generation gap, and now, in the fast-paced 21st century, there will be a "gap" if there is a three-year age difference. It is the so-called "three-year-old generation gap". The reasons for the generation gap: The generation gap refers to two different ages. There are psychological and behavioral gaps between people of different ages, and at the same time, there are difficulties in understanding and communication caused by differences. I think the root causes are the following two main aspects: First, the beginning of the independence of teenagers. Strengthen, no longer want to rely on elders, always dissatisfied with parents' arrangements and supervision, and want to solve problems by ourselves

And this is the crux of the problem! It is often the things arranged by our parents that we all resist. The more this happens, the greater the distance will be! Second, if parents don’t understand our desire to grow up, they will always talk to us in the same way as before. Or education, which will also complicate the problem and make things more and more difficult. In the end, the children will even run away from home. The solution: young people should understand the difficulties of being parents, and then treat them well. Communicate, let them understand their own ideas and plans, and achieve a good solution to the problem. Among the values ????of contemporary teenagers, self is the most important. Self means independence and freedom, and is the most basic ideological resource in modern society. They believe that they should have their own sports, fashion and entertainment, as well as their own language and expressions. In a survey among high school students, more than 70% of the respondents believed: "Our generation and our parents' generation are the same." There are great differences in consumption concepts, attitudes towards life, and even life goals.

"In terms of their own psychological maturity, 31.8% think that they are psychologically "very mature" and "relatively mature". At the same time, 74.8% of the respondents agree with the statement "I think most of my peers are naive." Views. The survey shows that the top five moral qualities that high school students believe should be promoted in modern society are: competition, law-abiding, filial piety, responsibility, and equality. It can be seen that most of our children still accept and agree with the morality of our modern society. Viewed. High school students regard "filial piety" as one of the most important moral values ??in modern society. In a sense, it is the inheritance of our moral tradition. Each generation lives in a specific social and historical background. The ideologies and codes of conduct are all marked by the times. Therefore, one generation has its own culture. The differences in values ??and poor communication between children and parents have created a "generation gap" between the two generations. Under such circumstances, children often have psychological conflicts and dissatisfaction, which even affect their children's social adaptation. Parents have brought their original lifestyles, behaviors and values ??into a new era of rapid changes. They also find it difficult and confusing to discipline their children, and they feel aggrieved and sad about the disappointment of their children. So how did the gap between the two generations become established?

First of all, mutation and resistance. This characteristic of adolescence leads to the emergence of a "generation gap". Adolescent children's attitude towards their parents changes from obedience and admiration in childhood to suspicion, dissatisfaction, criticism and opposition, and they begin to use independent values ??and moral standards to evaluate their parents' treatment of themselves. Behavior. At the same time, with the physical and psychological development of adolescence, they become emotional and subjective, and they begin to dislike parents who are contrary to their own thoughts and behaviors, even to show that they are "adults" with independent opinions. , there will be a tendency to bluff. So the emergence of this gap is completely natural.

Secondly, the difference between traditional concepts and modern concepts is another reason for the emergence of the "generation gap" in the lives and growth of two generations. Different environments and different educations will inevitably create different concepts and consciousnesses, and these differences will inevitably form different attitudes and views on the issue of discipline and being disciplined. Parents value tradition, conservatism, authority and obedience; children demand more. Trendy, open, democratic and flexible. Although some parents also want to be more open and democratic in educating their children, they cannot find appropriate standards and correct methods; children are limited by knowledge and experience and often have a negative attitude toward tradition. Lack of comprehensive and objective understanding and understanding makes it difficult to sort out the pros and cons, and it is easy to stick to one corner and form extreme views. Conflicts between each other are naturally inevitable.

Third, parents’ discipline is unavoidable. The influence of past experience is also one of the reasons for the formation of the "generation gap". Every parent once had his own ideals and expectations, but due to various reasons, they failed to realize their wishes. Therefore, parents regard their children as extensions of themselves and have high expectations. The parents' compensatory psychology of thinking about goals or ideals that they have not achieved in the past completely ignores the fact that children are independent individuals with their own values, so parents and children often complain that each other does not understand them. One is the drastic change in the physical and mental state of young people. Dramatic changes prompt us to discover ourselves, pursue independence, subvert the concepts of childhood, and begin to choose and pursue career, friendship, love and life value. In today's only-child families, parents' lack of knowledge and experience makes them ill-prepared for changes in their children, and they can only deal with them in the same way as before. Only by letting parents clarify this mutation can teenagers bring about corresponding changes in their concepts and consciousness, and eliminate misunderstandings and estrangements. The second is the mark of the times. Parents who were born in the 1950s and 1960s need a gradual process of understanding, understanding and acceptance of the concept of great integration in today's world. In a family, children are of course the ones who update their ideology and culture the fastest. Therefore, it is their children’s unshirkable responsibility to guide parents to approach, recognize, understand and accept the tasks of the times. The third is the nervousness, exhaustion, and anxious emotions and attitudes that the rapid development of the times has brought to parents. Nervous, tired and anxious emotions and attitudes are important reasons why children resent their parents and form a generation gap. Don't let parents make decisions in bad moods. It is the children's obligation to help parents eliminate bad moods. The fourth is children's impetuousness, anger and self-righteousness. Well-informed parents certainly don’t buy it.

Parents: As far as the generation gap is concerned, it itself is due to inequality, incomprehension and disrespect. Although the old concept of the king as the guide for the ministers and the father as the guide for the son has long been denied, it is still deeply rooted in the hearts of those parents. . Zhang Ailing once said this: "Children are not as confused as adults. Most parents do not understand the characteristics of their children and youth. They are often forgetful, which makes us pass through childhood and completely forget the psychology of childhood." "Zhang Ailing's words illustrate parents' incomprehension of their children's psychology. Parents are the creators of the generation gap, making the greatest love in the world distorted in the generation gap. It is parents who make the most selfless love in the world linger in the generation gap. Our parents were born in the 1950s and 1960s and grew up in the 1970s and 1980s. The era in which their world was formed was completely different from ours. Marxism teaches us to look at problems from a developmental perspective. So, how can we look at today's problems from yesterday's perspective? When parents talk to and teach their children, their attitude of absolute leadership and absolute domination is undoubtedly evident. This creates a master-slave relationship between parent and child. The development of this master-slave relationship will inevitably lead to the generation gap. Regarding children: First, no parent wants to create a generation gap with their children. Children have not worried about their livelihood since childhood and rarely understand the sufferings of the world, which over time leads to self-centeredness. However, parents have been working hard and suffering but are not understood by their children. Who can understand this painful feeling? Although parents are willing to eliminate the generation gap subjectively and objectively, students ask themselves, how many of us have really given our parents a chance? Second, we often say, "Familiar places have no scenery." Children who have been under the education of their parents for a long time are prone to resistance, and a generation gap is formed as a result. Third, parents will have a certain influence on a person's growth. However, as the saying goes, external factors cannot determine internal factors. The fundamental problem still lies with the children. Children are influenced by various ideas in society, their thoughts are immature, and it is difficult for them to grasp themselves correctly, and they do not take their parents' words seriously. This is the main reason for the generation gap. Quoting from classics: The world of children is completely different from that of adults. If they are ignorant and unruly, it will seriously hinder the development of children - Lu Xun How to cross the generation gap: The way to solve the generation gap lies with both parties. Parents should work hard to learn cultural knowledge, understand the characteristics of their children in advance, and strive to grasp the characteristics and concepts of the times; continue to learn and make progress; at the same time, adjust their physical and mental state, and strive to treat their children with an optimistic, cheerful and trusting face; children should be considerate, caring for their parents, and adopt Appropriate methods can guide parents to understand themselves and the concepts of the times; at the same time, they need to have a clear and profound understanding of their youth and superficiality. However, the primary responsibility of parents is to support the family; and the social task of children is to study. When it comes to the generation gap, both parents and children have responsibilities. With the arrival of adolescence, children's psychology has undergone major changes. They have a "sense of adulthood" and a strong sense of social independence, and they have their own independent views on many issues. If parents insist that their children obey them, the high pressure of the family's "power politics" can easily cause children to develop a strong rebellious mentality. This creates what we often call the generation gap.

The generation gap exists objectively and is normal. However, a family needs to communicate. Smooth communication can bring harmony to the family and is also conducive to the healthy growth of children. To achieve smooth communication, the two generations need to work together to provide each other with understanding and tolerance, so that the generation gap can be narrowed or even bridged. Seeking common ground while reserving differences. The so-called "seeking common ground while reserving differences" means that when my child and I disagree on a certain issue, we can retain our respective opinions, but try to find consistency between both parties on the issue. Be more understanding and tolerant. Parents and their children have a flesh-and-blood relationship. Parents hope that their children will grow up healthily and have a bright future, while children also want to have a brilliant life through their own efforts. However, if parents handle the problem improperly, it may trigger rebellious psychology in the children, causing major differences between the two generations on the issue of having the same aspirations. This is really not the case. For example, some parents have too high expectations for their children, and their children's academic performance sometimes does not meet the parents' requirements, so they often show anxious expressions and dissatisfied words and deeds in front of their children. This is not conducive to the improvement of children's academic performance and can only have a negative impact on children's mentality. I believe it starts with respect. When I communicate with my children, I respect them as much as possible and adopt a democratic and equal approach.

When talking to my child, I am very calm and have a good attitude. I guide my child to talk more and try my best to let him say what is in his heart, even what seems to him to be unquestionable. There is a saying that goes well - say it quickly!

There are many benefits to equal dialogue. First of all, parents' respect makes children feel a different kind of warmth. Children may respect their parents more from now on, deepening the relationship between the two generations. Secondly, the child now has someone to talk to about his troubles, which is very conducive to the child's healthy psychological growth. Thirdly, children open their hearts to their parents and speak their innermost thoughts, which helps parents to understand their children's ideological status in a timely manner and do their children's ideological work in a timely manner. Actively look for parents and children who speak the same language. Since they are at different stages of life, their interests and hobbies are quite different. However, parents must also keep pace with the times, understand and study the interests and hobbies of young people, and be exposed to some new things. In this way, the two generations will have more common languages ??and the family relationship will be more harmonious. Parents: As parents, our values ??will definitely be different from those of the next generation, but we should realize that this difference is caused by the different living environments and growth experiences of the two generations, and is inevitable. Therefore, we do not need to force our children to maintain the same values ??as us, but we should seek common ground while reserving differences and try to understand them. At the same time, although teenagers in high school have initially developed certain values, they are not yet very stable and are still highly malleable. Therefore, parents' values ??will still have a certain impact on their children. The excellent personality charm and outlook on life of parents can serve as role models for their children. Therefore, as parents, we should still set an example and teach through words and deeds to help our children establish a positive attitude. 1. Respect and understand their children. Everyone wants to be respected and understood, and teenagers need it too. This is also a distinctive psychological characteristic of teenagers and their unified voice. Parents should put down their airs of authority and communicate with their children candidly, instead of disciplining their children with a straight face all day long. Research shows that the parent-child relationship in a democratic family is much more natural and harmonious than that in an authoritative family. 2. Let your children have their own space. Another characteristic of adolescence is atresia. Most children during this period do not like to talk to their parents and like to stay alone in their own rooms. They do not want to tell their parents about their worries and concerns, but confide them in their diaries. For this reason, parents should realize that this is a normal phenomenon in the development of teenagers, and should not closely monitor everything their children do. 3. Encourage and praise children more. Teenagers have a sensitive and fragile self-esteem, such as strong sexual desire, but they also need the approval and support of their parents. Therefore, appropriate praise, even for small things, will enhance children's self-confidence and trigger their sense of accomplishment, making them feel that their parents and themselves are connected, respect their parents more, and strive to do better. Responsible attitude towards children and the concept of strict education for children. Without strict requirements, problems that arise during the child's growth process cannot be corrected, and shortcomings cannot be overcome, which is very detrimental to the child's growth. But strict requirements do not mean beating, scolding and punishment, let alone abuse. Don't pay too much attention to formal strictness, but the attitude and methods are too simple and crude, lacking warm education and convincing reasoning. Parents have the same original intention of loving their children. However, due to different educational methods and methods, the results vary widely. As children grow up, they need constant encouragement, trust, understanding and respect from their parents. Excessive demands and severe discipline will not only fail to enable their normal psychological development, but will instead keep them in a depressed state of mind for a long time, and over time they will become depressed. Tired, weak, depressed or even rebellious. Moreover, stick education can make children indifferent and even hostile to their parents and society. The psychological process of blindly strictly disciplining children and hoping that they will succeed is eager for quick success and instant benefits, but ignores the psychological needs of the child and the personality development of the child. This kind of harsh beating or education is very harmful. When children are young, they are afraid of being harshly disciplined and passively accept discipline. However, as they grow older and their self-awareness increases, they will naturally show resistance and resistance. The prerequisite for loving and teaching children is to understand and grasp the characteristics of their psychological development, and to provide encouragement and heuristic education.

Strict requirements should be strict and well-qualified, that is, they should be within the scope of reasonable requirements, within the physical and psychological endurance, and should follow the laws of the development of things. Children should not be eager for success. Children will get angry when they make mistakes and hate iron for not being able to make steel. If you have to hit or scold, there is no limit to such severity. Strictly require rules and regulations, usually set requirements for their behavior, specify regulations, and then regulate the children's words and deeds according to the requirements and regulations to guide their growth. If you only rely on your own concepts of right and wrong or emotional likes and dislikes to educate, hit, scold, and punish at will, you will only make them confused. After you make a mistake and get punished, you still don’t know how to avoid making the same mistake next time, and you will feel dissatisfied with your punishment. . In addition, strict discipline cannot be punished without teaching. That is to say, after making a mistake, it is taboo to give him a severe beating without explaining the reason for beating him and pointing out the mistake afterwards. The premise of strict requirements is education. Children should be educated first, and through education, children should gradually understand which behaviors are wrong. If the same mistake persists despite repeated admonitions and is committed knowingly, warnings and punishments can be given. It is inevitable that children will often make mistakes. You should not be disappointed with them easily, and you should not be too hasty. Treat your children kindly and treat them as you would yourself, and you will have fewer worries. So that the two generations can get along happily, and then communicate as equals as friends to jointly solve existing problems and differences. I hope you will use your sincere love and appropriate parenting methods to take your child on a journey and send him on his long road of life. I confess that I have no experience in educating children. It is my first time to be a father and a mother. It is inevitable that there will be inappropriate methods and methods. I seek the understanding of my children and explore the path of growth together. Parents do not raise their children to be adults, but grow with their children. Regarding children: 1. We must correctly understand our parents’ care and education for us, as well as the conflicts that may arise, appreciate the great efforts and sweat our parents have put into our growth, treat our parents with gratitude and a rational attitude, and adhere to correct views and behaviors. 2. Correctly understand one's own role in the family, know how to communicate equally with parents, and build a harmonious family relationship. 3． Be able to communicate with parents with an equal attitude, master some specific methods of handling relationships with parents, learn communication skills and overcome rebellious psychology. 4. Understand the dangers of rebellious psychology, proactively communicate with parents, strive to speak well, and improve your interpersonal skills and ability to adapt to society. (1) Take the initiative to greet your parents when you go home; (2) Participate in parents’ chats at home; (3) Trust and praise your parents; (4) Take the initiative to apologize to your parents when you do something wrong; (5) Always be able to communicate with your parents Parents need to put themselves in their own shoes and consider issues from their perspective. I believe that through the joint efforts of the two generations, we will be able to cross the generation gap, become good friends, and build a bridge of communication between the two generations! !