Very funny humorous jokes

20 words of particularly funny humorous jokes

20 words of particularly funny humorous jokes. Jokes are used to liven up the atmosphere when everyone gets together, or to coax each other in a relationship. props, but you still need to prepare jokes before implementing them. The following are 20 words about particularly funny humorous jokes. Very funny humorous joke 1

No chance

A man accused the lawyer and said: "You once guaranteed to me that you would definitely get my wife acquitted, but she was still One year in prison." The lawyer said angrily: "That's because she kept chattering in court, and I didn't even have a chance to interrupt!"

Legal consultation

The newlywed wife asked the lawyer Consultation: "Less than a month after I got married to him, he threw cakes at me. I want to divorce him." Lawyer: "Okay, just sue him for intentional injury." The bride continued: "The most unforgivable thing for me Yes, the cake was made by me." The lawyer thought for a moment and said, "Then you are also guilty. You are suspected of 'making and providing weapons.'"

Wait for another year

A couple was divorcing and fighting in court over the custody of their three children, both of whom wanted two. When the judge got tired of the quarrel, he said, "Let's do this. Don't get divorced now. Go back and have another child. Then come back for divorce next year, so you don't have to fight."

So aggrieved.

Three prisoners sat before a leering judge. The judge asked majestically: "What's your name?" "Bill." The second prisoner replied honestly. "I didn't ask you!" the judge roared. "But I didn't say anything!" the third prisoner replied aggrievedly.

Reason

The husband asked a lawyer to go through the divorce procedures. Lawyer: "Why do you want to divorce your wife?" Husband: "I can no longer tolerate my wife's bad habits. She doesn't lie down to sleep until morning every day." Lawyer: "Then what does she do at night?" Husband: " Waiting for me to come home!"

Why fight?

The judge was interrogating a young man who got into a fight with someone in a phone booth. "Why the fight?" the judge asked. "I was very calmly chatting with my girlfriend in the phone booth." The young man said, "At this time, the guy came over.

He wanted to call, but I didn't let him, so he just I rushed out of the phone booth. "No wonder you lost your temper," the judge said after thinking. "And that's not all," the young man added, "he also kicked my girlfriend out of the phone booth."

Have a cigarette!

Execution Before, the prison guard said to the condemned prisoner: "Come on, have another cigarette!" The prisoner said: "No, you will become addicted if you smoke this." Particularly funny humorous jokes 2

Praising my son

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The two parents complimented each other on their sons.

A: My son is really a genius. Yesterday he drew a dragonfly on the wall, and his mother caught it several times.

B: What’s that? My son drew a snake on the floor. I was so scared that I broke out the door. Who knew that he also drew the door on the wall!

Previous Backdoor

Let’s see how the Beijing subway bullies foreigners: the bus stop name includes the four directions of southeast, northwest and northwest: “Beijing West Station South Square East”; when announcing the station, it says “The front door is here, please get off at the back door” "...

I once saw two foreigners dumbfounded on the spot.

Treatment is ineffective

This morning I received a note asking for leave, which said: "Teacher, your classmate so-and-so failed to receive treatment in the school hospital..."

< p> There was a loud "bang" in my head. How could a person who was still alive a few days ago be here now... My tears suddenly fell down.

After crying for a long time, I picked up the note again and suddenly saw: "So I will transfer to the city today to continue treatment. I hope the teacher will allow me to take leave!"

Flattery

< p> The chairman led outstanding employees to go on an outing, enjoying the green mountains and green waters, which was very pleasant. The chairman is over 50 years old, and he is full of energy when he is with us young people. We all praise him for his youthfulness.

While everyone was flattering, a colleague made a garland out of nowhere and gave it to the chairman. Another colleague said: "Boss, you look really good wearing a wreath."

Raising a son

Suddenly I felt that raising a son was like playing an online game. Creating an account was like being born. I worked hard to take care of him every day, and it took me a year to get a level up. I finally got to level 20 or so. I am so powerful, I have better equipment, and I can take on the BOSS on my own. However, my account was stolen by my daughter-in-law, and I can never get it back. ...

Epiphany

On the weekend, our family went shopping, and my dad actually took the initiative to help my mother carry her bag. Thinking about it, I was really inconsiderate of my daughter-in-law. However, while I was shopping, my dad disappeared. I just looked for my dad, but my mom couldn’t buy anything, so I had to give up...

Suddenly, I had an epiphany - ginger is still spicy. !

Tutor

Lao Ma shouted the name of his first girlfriend several times in his sleep. His wife pushed him awake and asked alertly: "Who are you calling?"

Lao Ma hurriedly covered it up and said: "I dreamed of being a teacher and asking students to answer questions."

My wife asked: "Then why do you always ask the same student to answer questions in a class? "

Lao Ma was stunned for a moment, and then replied: "Because I am a tutor."

Quarrel

I just had a quarrel with my classmate in class. At that time, neither of us was paying attention to the other. Suddenly, our phone vibrated, and we saw that it was three words from our deskmate, "I'm sorry."

I was immediately moved and replied to his text message, just as I was sending it, The classmate suddenly raised his hand and shouted, "Teacher, he is playing with his mobile phone in class!"

I guessed the beginning, but not the ending.

Do you know each other?

On the bus, a woman dragged a dog and sat next to me. I glanced at the dog, and it looked at me. Look at me. I just kept staring at it, and it stared at me.

After this continued for a while, the woman looked at her dog, then at me, and asked: Do you know each other?

Love Broken Text Messages

Previous few God, I received an inexplicable text message: "Let's break up. Don't contact us again."

I guess I sent the wrong text message. Out of good intentions, I replied: "You sent the wrong text message." "No, I don't know you."

After a while, I received another text message: "You're so cruel." Very funny humorous jokes 3

Humorous stories and jokes 1

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"Driver: "Hey, sir, didn't you see the 'No Smoking' slogan?"

Passenger (cigarette in hand): "I saw it, but I didn't I've confused you. Isn't there an advertisement here that says 'Please wear a Mermaid bra'? Do I have to listen to it and wear it too?""

Humorous Stories and Jokes 2 < /p>

One day, Xiao Ming and his grandma were having dinner. His grandma asked Xiao Ming to eat more, and said: "Come, grandson, eat a fish eye. After eating the fish eye, your eyes will see clearly."

Xiao Ming was happy after hearing this Said: "Really? Grandma, I want to eat bird wings. After eating them, I can fly!"

Humorous Stories and Joke Part 3

It snowed heavily. One night, and early the next morning, I prepared the tools and planned to take my son to the square of the community to build a snowman.

Before going out, my son discussed with me: "Dad, when you get to the square, you stand still and I will shovel the snow on you. Let me make a tall and big tree that can run and blink." Is the snowman with eyes good?"

Humorous Stories and Jokes 4

Jiajia went to the concert with her mother.

Mom: Jiajia, do you know what the man standing in front of the band is doing with a stick?

Jiajia: Mom! Have you seen those instruments? They made various sounds, and the man mixed them up with a stick!

Mom:...

Humorous Stories and Jokes 5

There was a little monk who ran into the yard in the middle of the night with a long bamboo pole, waving and beating it against the night sky, causing a lot of trouble. Finally, the old monk was alarmed. The old monk shouted and asked: "What are you doing if you don't sleep in the middle of the night?" The young monk frightened and summoned up the courage to answer: "Master, I want the stars in the sky.

But no matter how hard I try, I kept swiping at him, but I just couldn't get it down..." Upon hearing this, the old monk became furious and cursed: "You idiot, you don't even know such a simple question. You are so stupid that you are unforgivably stupid. How could you stand in that place? You can't hit the roof.

Humorous Stories and Jokes 6

The son couldn't afford to support his elderly mother, so he decided to throw her down the mountain. The son said he wanted to carry his mother up the mountain for a walk, but she struggled to climb on his back. He kept thinking about climbing higher before leaving her. When he saw his mother secretly throwing beans on his back, he asked angrily. : "Why are you spilling the beans?" His mother's answer made him burst into tears: "Silly son, I'm afraid you will get lost when you go down the mountain alone. ”

Your parents’ love will accompany you throughout your life, even if they are old