Take a newspaper to the toilet. I'm a scholar.

1. Enterprises must have exotic capital that they can't steal, buy, dismantle, take away or slip away.

2. Never hang yourself from a tree. You can try several times in the surrounding trees.

3. Money is not the problem, but no money!

4. Money can buy a house but not a home, a marriage but not love, a clock but not time. Money is not everything, but the root of pain. Give me your money and let me bear the pain alone!

5. The result of being diligent but not paying attention to efficiency is that the stupid bird flies first and then disappears.

6. Youth is like toilet paper. It looks like a lot, but it is not enough to use it.

7. People promise a stranger to get up, but they can't tolerate the promotion of people around them. Because there is a conflict of contrast and benefit between people who are unified and organized, but they have no achievements in this respect with strangers.

8. People are endowed with greed, but without greed, society will not progress.

9. People are afraid of being famous and strong, while men are afraid of being poor and women are afraid of being fat.

1. Life is like a ball, and the person who taught you the first dance steps may not be able to accompany you to the end.

11. Rose says: Not all flowers represent love; Diamonds say: not all diamonds represent eternity.

12. Take a newspaper to the toilet. I am a scholar.

13. Boys are poor, or they don't know how to struggle, and girls are rich, or they are coaxed away with a piece of cake.

14. It doesn't matter if your head is empty, the key is not to get into the water.

15. Your ugliness has nothing to do with your face

16. Do you think I will watch you die? I will close my eyes.

17. You have a 3-degree smile, which Baidu can't find.

18. When the bird is big, there are all kinds of Woods!

19. The man riding a white horse is not necessarily a prince, he may be the Tang Priest; The one with wings is not necessarily an angel, but he may be a bird man. 26 funny classic quotations _ Leiren is funny

1. When facing difficulties: are you afraid of life even if you are not afraid of death?

in the face of danger: you are not afraid of life, but also of death? This is Einstein's theory of relativity

2. There are two kinds of men, one is lewd and the other is very lewd;

there are two kinds of women, one is pretending to be pure, and the other is pretending to be impure.

On Valentine's Day tomorrow, I turned around and found the phone number of a girl I secretly loved in middle school.

I sent her a short message:

If there is only one bowl of porridge, you should drink half of it first, and I'll keep the other half in my arms to keep you warm

A few minutes later, she replied with a short message:

Who introduced you? 4 at a time, 7 for the night.

3. Today, I made an appointment with a female net friend, whose code word was holding a rose.

Looking around the dating place, I saw a woman holding a rose and looking up, so I ran away and went online at night.

I asked the other party: How did your mother meet the net friend for you?

From then on, I lay quietly on her blacklist.

4. Actually, steamed bread is omnipotent, and you can eat it when you are hungry.

if you want to eat cakes, pat the steamed bread flat;

if you want noodles, comb the steamed bread with a comb;

If you want to eat hamburgers, cut the steamed bread and eat it with vegetables.

5. To deal with ferocious people, you must be more ferocious than him;

to deal with a despicable person, you must be more despicable than him;

to deal with a handsome man, you must be more handsome than him;

if you deal with a handsome man, you will ruin his face!

6. I can't bear to let my children catch wolves, my daughter-in-law catch hooligans, and I can't bear to update my collection.

I have been in a bad mood today. Last night's short message let me know that the girl I had a crush on had fallen, and even told me once that she was 4

At that time, I was very sad and rummaged through my wallet: So I was even sadder, and I didn't even have the capital to accompany her to fall once

I only have four words to say. Including this sentence and the previous two sentences. My words are over

8. It suddenly occurred to me that when I was in college, the teacher wrote a couplet: the country is prosperous, the family is prosperous, and the country is prosperous.

monitor's couplet: the sky is magnificent, the earth is magnificent, and the world is magnificent! Later, I was kicked out of the classroom

because my bottom line was: NMD, TMD, you TMD!

9. Some people say that if you bury your girlfriend underground in spring, you will get many girlfriends in autumn.

I heard that someone believed it and did it. He buried his girlfriend underground in the spring.

In the autumn, he was buried underground by Uncle police.

1. Sit on your back tonight, get up early tomorrow, lie prone tomorrow, and exercise the day after tomorrow. Sometimes it's as simple as that.

11. Being single is very painful. Being single for a long time is even more painful. A few days ago, I saw a sow, and everyone thought it had fine eyes.

12. A ferocious person has nothing to do to find someone to kill.

romantic people have nothing to do. Find a beautiful woman to sleep with.

rich people have nothing to do to buy a new car to drive.

I have nothing to do. Pick up a cigarette butt and smoke

13. Wildcat: Sleep wherever you go. Wild dog: Eat whatever you catch. Wild man: Love everyone you meet.

14. The unfairness of this world lies in: God said: I want light! So there was the day.

the beauty said: I want a diamond ring! So she got a diamond ring.

the rich man said: I want a woman! So he had a woman.

I said, I want to take a bath! I cann't believe the water stopped!

15. reading today, I was very depressed to see that emperor Kangxi had become the king of a country at the age of 23, with great achievements; But seeing that Emperor Tongzhi had been dead for four years at the age of twenty-three, I was in balance.

16. It's been raining these days. I guess the Jade Emperor is crying. It must be that his marriage with the Queen Mother is unhappy. There are two possibilities for this unhappiness. One is that the Queen Mother has left, and the other is that the Queen Mother refuses to leave.

17. My father asked me what I want in life.

I answered money and beauty, and my father hit me in the face fiercely;

I answered career and love, and my father touched my head appreciatively.

18. After dinner, I smoked on the balcony and enjoyed it. Suddenly, I saw a flash of light in the night sky, and I was excited: a meteor!

So I made a wish at once.

I made six or seven wishes. I opened my eyes and threw the cigarette out of the balcony.

Suddenly I heard a girl's voice downstairs: Wow! Meteor! Make a wish quickly

19. My dream life: sleep until I wake up naturally, and count my money until my hands cramp.

My real life: I wake up naturally when I count money, and I sleep until I get cramps in my hands

2. I came across the so-called contemporary women's mate selection standard in the book: having a car and a house, and my parents are both dead.

depressed. So I wrote down the imaginary criteria for choosing a wife:

The family property is over 1 million, the beauty is the best in the world, the virtuous and gentle and sexy, and the father-in-law has terminal cancer

21. Looking at beautiful women in the street, looking higher is appreciation, and looking lower is hooliganism.

22. I gradually discovered that only people are goblins! Some goblins eat people, but people eat everything. If you catch a goblin, you may be able to barbecue!

23. The liquor in the restaurant was watered again today!

damn it! When I have money, I will also go to a big restaurant to drink Remy Martin and XO!

and definitely don't let them fool me with 1986 and 1972. If you want to drink, have a bottle of this year!

24. My principle is: I won't commit crimes unless people commit crimes against me; If people attack me, I will be angry!

25. Life, you can't hang yourself from a tree, but try to die several times in several nearby trees.

26. I just found out that the way to attract a man is to keep him from getting it;

the way to attract a woman is just the opposite, that is, to keep her satisfied. Classic quotations from Lei Ren

1. We agreed to grow old together, but you secretly got oil.

2. Everything in this world can be fake, but the only thing I can't stand is that the money in my hand is fake!

3. I swear I'll cut off my hand if I surf the Internet again, and I found out that I am Guanyin with a thousand hands.

4. Isn't it the saddest thing to have a monthly exam on your birthday? It's okay, I'm still open ~ "Dear friends

5. Don't be cool with me, I'm MINUS ten degrees!

6. I must write today! ! I'm fucking killing you for this stupid math!

7. Spit is used to count money, not to be reasonable.

8. The poor play with cars, the rich play with watches, and the diaosi play with computers ...

9. The space background music is all right again. Kill Matt,

1. Only when I pay the mobile phone fee did I realize that my words were so valuable.

11. Seeing you, I .. I smiled.

13. Actually, I am highly educated, but I am a little more peasant in temperament.

14. The devil can't teach an apprentice like me.

15. Sometimes you think that the sky is falling, but in fact, you stand on your own side ...

16. I really don't understand why you hanged yourself when you were a child.

17. Do you have any dogs around you? The kind that can talk.

18. Who fed my QQ cough syrup? Why do I feel that this penguin hasn't coughed for a long time?

19. Happy birthday to me! I hope my future daughter-in-law will find me, and we will quickly register for marriage and have children.

2. A large-scale disaster movie "Opening School" will be shown all over the country soon.

21. Behind a successful man, there is a supportive woman, and behind a failed man, there is a mischievous woman.

22. As long as you have classes in mind, you don't skip classes wherever you go.

23. God, God, I hope that my future deskmate will be both a school grass and a schoolmaster.

24. How dare you curse me for eating instant noodles without seasoning packets? I curse you for eating instant noodles with seasoning packets.

25. Sister Na, you will change your name if you don't come back to Happy Camp.

26. I wish all lovers in the world are long-lost brothers and sisters.

27. (Classic Quotations) It's time for mosquitoes to get off the shelves.

28. The bangs in the front grow fast, and the hair in the back should learn.

29. I want to sneeze, but I can't get it out. I hold back my tears.

3. I want to be a good boy, but my personality is gradually becoming a bad boy.

31. The saddest thing is that your best friend likes your boyfriend and your boyfriend's buddy likes you!

32. What is home? Home is the place where wifi will automatically connect.

33. Why kill yourself on an onion? I still have a forest!

34. I will pursue my ideals, otherwise I will die unsatisfied.

35. Get out of here on any birthday or broken egg day! I'm still young and I don't want to be that old!

36, born wrong, can't afford to die. Now the cemetery is as expensive as the house price.

37. As for "white, rich and beautiful", I have met all three criteria-free eating, being rich and boasting

38. It's not that I am not close to women, but women are not close to me!

I'm 39 or 18 years old. Happy birthday to me. I can't do anything illegal in the future.

4. It takes only two steps to drive a girl crazy: first, take a picture of her; Step two, don't let her see the photos. The release of 22 classic quotations of Lei Ren funny

The latest release of 2xx classic quotations of Lei Ren funny

1. If a pig has a human mind, it is not a pig-it is Bajie!

2. Dear God, did you let summer and winter share a room? Give birth to this damn weather!

3, vulnerabilities and patches Qi Fei, blue screen * * * crashes!

4. It's normal to eat the wire for washing the pot in breakfast, which just shows that our logistics is strictly in the order of washing the pot first and then cooking ...

5. Women have countless QQ numbers just to flirt with a man, and men often fill a QQ number with all kinds of women ...

6. Don't hang yourself on a tree, try to die several times on several trees ...-----.

7. A temporary impulse is a crisis for future generations!

8. The early bird catches the worm, and the early worm is eaten by the bird!

9. arguing with MM about whether whales are fish or not, I finally said that "the Japanese also bring personal characters", and she agreed that whales are not fish.

1. The iron pestle can be ground into a needle, but the wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. The material is wrong, and it is useless to try again.

11. If reply was a virtue, I would have become a saint.

12. Life can't be like cooking when all the ingredients are ready.

13. I heard that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. Looking back, I actually ran naked in too many cooks for 2 years!

14. Wear other people's shoes, go your own way, and let them find it by taxi.

15. According to the pig's aesthetics, I am basically a handsome guy.

16. If you don't fall asleep in class, you will get drunk on the wine table.

17. After meeting me, you will suddenly find that handsome can be so specific!

18. Since two prostitutes claimed to be graduates of a famous university, I now generally claim to be illiterate!

19. Get off the line at midnight on time, or the princess will turn back into Cinderella.

2. Take the title of big milk and enjoy the treatment of second wife!

21. When it rains, don't forget to take an umbrella. If you are wet, gonorrhea will be troublesome!

22. I am an animal when I take off my clothes, but I am devil wears prada when I put on my clothes!

23. Since I turned into a piece of shit, no one dared to step on my head.

24. Your ugliness has nothing to do with your face ...

25. There are two ways to pollute a place: garbage or money!

It's a good idea to get married on August 8th, 26.

27. You look really creative and have the courage to live!

28. The species of animals are decreasing, but the species of people are increasing?

29. You can live like a pig, but you can never be as happy as a pig!

3. As long as the sunrise appears before sunset, it is good to arrive before class.

31, people always make mistakes, otherwise.