Happy Goddess’ Day

Queen’s Day is here, I wish all female readers a happy holiday, the shopping carts have been emptied, and the naughty children have been taken away by reliable husbands~~~

Of course, this is for me It's impossible, haha

I just promised my teammates at the beginning of the year that I will focus entirely on my baby in Wang Nian, and my workaholic character... collapsed! collapse! collapse!

Ask yourself, you will understand what it means to be a woman after becoming a mother. Not every mother can declare like the chicken soup article on the public account: The arrival of a child allows us to meet a better version of ourselves; but most mothers can agree that the child is a mirror, and the parenting process can really make you understand. Really understand yourself better.

People who have read my account probably know that I used to strongly oppose any woman putting family as the focus of her life. Although it was out of reach, I would reflexively compare "successful women" and "Tang Jing" They are linked to: elegant posture, graceful walking, successful career, financial independence, freedom of marriage and love, and being free and easy regardless of having a family.

And all of this was reversed 360° after the baby was born. Even at this moment, I have begun to struggle again: should I take care of the baby full-time? Therefore, it is conceivable that after having the baby, my goddesses have changed from Tang Jing to... female nerves

< p>NONONO! There are exceptions! For example: he can attack and defend, he has outstanding performance at work, and he is no less good at taking care of his family even though he takes a back seat——

1. Hu Ke

Get to know Hu Kesha from TV It’s been a long time, but I’ve really become a fan, except for “Anji’s contribution” mentioned in the complaint conference (as we all know, Wu Beier’s real name is Anji Chen

We take people’s nicknames as our family’s name, this dad Mom seems to be sloppy), but also because she is down-to-earth and real.

Different from those unattainable female stars on TV who have a well-proportioned figure during pregnancy and wear high-heeled shoes and wear Wi-Fi. After giving birth, their figure instantly returns to a graceful and graceful shape, and they devote themselves fully to the entertainment industry. Hu Ke The trajectory of pregnancy and child rearing is more down-to-earth. Not only does it raise two babies by hand (with the help of the mother and nanny), but its parenting method, which is known as a textbook, also has rules to follow, which is worthy of taking screenshots for new mothers to learn.

Unlike many model artists in the industry who still work non-stop before and after giving birth, Hu Ke almost completely disappeared from the entertainment industry in the past few years. This is because Hu Ke was brought up by her grandparents since she was a child. She still has a sense of alienation from her parents, which has also had some negative effects on her character. Therefore, when he learned that he was pregnant with Anji, Hu Ke made an immediate decision: he would take care of the baby full-time——

My experience as a child made me more aware of the impact of the original family on the child, and I did not want the child to continue my status.

In "Mom is Superman", the crucian carp brothers fall in love and kill each other every day. Hu Ke, who used to be very controlling, learned to let go during the parenting process and was calm and composed in the show: Let the brothers deal with their own problems conflicts without intervening arbitrarily; allow children to vent their breakdown emotions without simply stopping them.

Of course, Hu is not born with such a calm temper and high emotional intelligence. Every time she is on the verge of collapse because of a naughty child, she will review parenting books, such as "Love and Freedom" by Sun Ruixue ”, looking for a tranquilizer in the book.

Of course, everyone may think that this is just the "personality" and "routine" of the variety show, but the details of the daily interactions during the filming are enough to show that Hu Ke is well aware of the completely different tempers of the two brothers, and She developed a strategy for dealing with the Crucian Carp brothers based on their aptitude, and everything was under her control.

For example, when two brothers are fighting over toys, they play the role of a quarreling witch; when Xiaoyuer gets angry before going out, no matter how rushed he is, he patiently waits for him to vent before going out; when he is delayed in picking up Anji because of this When get out of class was over, he apologized humbly and instantly understood Anji's paintings, which quickly calmed Anji's bad mood; when he saw Ma Yashu's family's rice dumplings, he revealed the key to the problem: without a fixed dining table, there would be no food. The necessary sense of formality...

It is not easy to raise two boys. Everyone only sees how cute and sensible the Crucian Carp brothers are, but rarely notices that compared to mothers of other families, the time when Hu Ke was bare-faced on the show At most, but less often, it is thought that this is the result of a mother sacrificing her own career advancement period to accompany and educate them.

Like all working women who have given birth to children, Hu Ke also faces the problem of how to balance family and career, as well as confusion and disputes with her husband. Even so, after her two children went to school, she still insisted on spending quality time with her children, occasionally taking on some short-term jobs that she liked, and being a good parent without giving up being herself.

2.? Xiaotu Dachengzi

Expectant mothers and new mothers in the surrounding area often come to me to recommend accounts. There are many public accounts I follow, and I clean them out almost once a month (a hobby for people with obsessive-compulsive disorder), especially parenting accounts, but I also leave some whitelisted accounts, such as the little German immigrant Diandianjia who likes hand-painting. Tudou, a master of education who lives in the United States full-time to raise two children, Cheng Zi talks about our baby, has a second child and went to the University of Hong Kong to study emotional parent-child communication, started his own business, a budding research institute BUD, a strong working woman who was forced to leave her job because of the premature birth of her child but failed to take care of her child. Big J and Little D who became a parenting influencer, Deejo, a hot returnee mother who is dedicated to teaching parent-child English, three Dongguan mothers started their own business in the Kingdom of Beasts after one meal, and worked part-time as a fitness instructor with two children, writing random thoughts every day Director Bai Fumei Tai Yo, who occasionally writes about parenting in her essays... Even Mimeng, who is known for her provocative and provocative sloganeering, after I learned that she single-handedly raised her family, she instantly turned from negative to fan and entered the white list. .

It can be seen that being a full-time mother is not something ordinary people can do, so I’d better go to work honestly.

Among the parenting accounts that are popping up everywhere, there is one that I recommend to everyone. Don't take the pass - small soil and big orange.

Xiaotu’s real name is Chen Yuwen, and she also has two children (it seems that she doesn’t dare to say that she is a parenting expert until she has a second child, haha). After graduating from Shanghai Jiao Tong University with a master’s degree, she worked in a Fortune 500 company I work for an ace company, and my family has lived in the United States for three years due to family work reasons. Recently, I am considering returning to China to settle down, and may choose to come to Shenzhen

Like many child care account managers, Xiaotu also made a mistake. I accidentally hit the internet celebrity route. Five years ago, Xiaotu, who had just given birth to her first son and was frequently suffering from sleep problems, found that there was almost no information on infant and young child sleep on the Internet. Desperate, she studied all the sleep-related books she could find, and found that the results were good through practice. So, she summarized these methodologies into posts such as "Moving towards a full night's sleep", "There is no baby who can't sleep, only adults who can't coax", etc., and posted them on Weibo, and they were widely welcomed by netizens. Only then did she realize that There are so many parents in China who have been troubled by infant sleep problems for a long time.

With the in-depth study of infant sleep and the decline of his own work industry, Xiaotu decided that it would be better to resign and devote himself to the field of infant sleep to help more parents.

The idea at that time was to concentrate on completing the book and write a sleep book for Chinese mothers. It would bring together everyone’s experiences, feelings, and wisdom, and provide theoretical and practical practice. , so that people who need it can have a systematic reference, which will only take a year or two, and at worst, they can go back to find a job later. There are many temptations in this world. At the beginning, my family once asked me: "The royalties for years of hard work may not be worth a month's salary. What are you looking for?" "Why don't you accept some advertising and sell goods when you have so many fans?" I was also confused about the future. and have been troubled, but regarding this matter, I know that my heart is firm.

As a result, Xiaotu restarted the academic model, continued in-depth learning, and soon became the first consultant in China to obtain the IMPI sleep consulting certification. What happened after that was similar to other parenting internet celebrities, publishing sleep books, giving sleep classes, and writing public accounts...

However, what really made me a fan of Xiaotu was her persistence and indifference to fame and fortune. From the time she switched from a big-name company to an industry that had no foundation at all and relied on her own exploration, she has always insisted on learning and focusing on research. He single-handedly led the rise of the domestic infant and toddler sleep industry and became the most driving parenting influencer on Weibo in 2017!

What is even more touching is her selfless love: Unlike other parenting influencers, Xiaotu has not established a team and has always insisted on operating independently. But over the years, even when she was pregnant and had children, she continued to answer questions for parents for free on Weibo, selflessly shared various long documents she typed out word by word, and donated all royalties to the charity when she published two books. It is a charity organization, but I pay royalties to parents who submit articles and recommend their official accounts in the article.

After working as a public account for four years, she refused all advertisements, never engaged in group buying, never took advantage of any hot topics, and was down-to-earth to be a pure and clean parenting account.

3. Sister J

Sister J is my colleague and my former boss. On screen, most people’s impression of female bosses is that of a female boss. I am honored that all the female bosses I have ever had are gentle and loving sisters.

If Hu Ke’s key word that attracts me is authenticity, and Xiaotu’s key word is selflessness, then what attracts me to Sister J is perfection.

I graduated from a foreign language college where talented women are everywhere, the competition is fierce, and women are self-reliant. In my junior year, I started interning at several newspapers, working with various vigorous and resolute female editors and reporters. During those years, I There are powerful girls almost everywhere! It wasn't until I met Sister J that I discovered that excellence doesn't necessarily have to be maverick or unique. It can also be gentle, gentle, and quiet.

As early as 3 years ago, I secretly posted an anonymous article about Sister J on the company’s official WeChat account. She probably didn't know that in the past few years, there was such a subordinate who had been silently worshiping her. And after so many years, she is still like this in my heart——

Of course, the above is just Sister J’s excellence in work. What really makes me consider her as a parenting role model is Sister J’s persistence over the years. With a family of three intimately accompanied by their parents and children.

After having a baby, Sister J, like many of my colleagues around me, took a hands-on approach to childcare. She declined the old man's help. After the baby went to kindergarten, the couple took care of the baby by themselves and insisted on reading together before going to bed. More importantly, no matter when and where, the family of three always stays with each other and walks together.

I had a chance encounter with Sister J’s baby years ago, which left a deep impression on me and touched me greatly. After many years of not seeing each other, that shy little baby has grown into a sunny, generous, decent and polite four-year-old boy. I have to sigh, babies whose parents spend a long time with them with high quality are really different!